forth on his heels.
'Yessir. Sent the wife to Quirm last month, sir, to see her aunt.'
'Very nice at this time of year, I'm told.'
'Yessir.'
'All the geraniums and whatnot.'
A figure tumbled out of an upper window and crumpled on the cobbles.
'That's where they've got the floral sundial, isn't it?' said the captain desperately.
'Yessir. Very nice, sir. All done with little flowers, sir.'
There was a sound like something hitting something else repeatedly with something heavy and wooden. Vimes winced.
'I don't think he'd of been happy in the Watch, sir,' said the sergeant, in a kindly voice.
The door of the Mended Drum had been torn off during riots so often that specially-tempered hinges had recently been installed, and the fact that the next tremendous crash tore the whole door and doorframe out of the wall only showed that quite a lot of money had been wasted. A figure in the midst of the wreckage tried to raise itself on its elbows, groaned, and slumped back.
'Well, it would seem that it's all…' the captain began, and Nobby said: 'It's that bloody troll!'
'What?' said Vimes.
'It's the troll! The one they have on the door!'
They advanced with extreme caution.
It was, indeed, Detritus the splatter.
It is very difficult to hurt a creature that is, to all intents and purposes, a mobile stone. Someone seemed to have managed it, though. The fallen figure was groaning like a couple of bricks being crushed together.
'That's a turn up for the books,' said the sergeant vaguely. All three of them turned and peered at the brightly-lit rectangle where the doorway had been. Things had definitely quietened down a bit in there.
'You don't think,' said the sergeant, 'that he's winning, do you?''
The captain thrust out his jaw. ' 'We owe it to our colleague and fellow officer,' he said, 'to find out.'
There was a whimper from behind them. They turned and saw Nobby hopping on one leg and clutching a foot.
'What's up with you, man?' said Vimes.
Nobby made agonized noises.
Sergeant Colon began to understand. Although cautious obsequiousness was the general tenor of Watch behaviour, there wasn't one member of the entire squad who hadn't, at some time, been at the wrong end of Detritus's fists. Nobby had merely tried to play catch-up in the very best traditions of policemen everywhere.
'He went and kicked him inna rocks, sir,' he said.
'Disgraceful,' said the captain vaguely. He hesitated. 'Do trolls have rocks?' he said.
'Take it from me, sir.'
'Good grief,' Vimes said. 'Dame Nature moves in strange ways, doesn't she.'
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