looked quite new and about the right size.

'That would be entirely wrong,' said Vimes. He wasn't sure how you actually went about cutting a throat. It had never hitherto been an option.

'No,' he said, 'I think perhaps we'll let them off with a caution.'

There was a groan from under the bench.

'Besides,' he went on quickly, 'we should get our fallen comrade to a place of safety as soon as possible.'

'Good point,' said the sergeant. He took a swig of the spirits, for the sake of his nerves.

The two of them managed to sling Carrot between them and guide his wobbling legs up the steps. Vimes, collapsing under the weight, looked around for Nobby.

'Corporal Nobbs,' he rasped, 'why are you kicking people when they're down?'

'Safest way, sir,' said Nobby.

Nobby had long ago been told about fighting fair and not striking a fallen opponent, and had then given some creative thought to how these rules applied to someone four feet tall with the muscle tone of an elastic band.

'Well, stop it. I want you to caution the felons,' said the captain.

'How, sir?'

'Well, you…' Captain Vimes stopped. He was blowed if he knew. He'd never done it.

'Just do it,' he snapped. 'Surely I don't have to tell you everything?''

Nobby was left alone at the top of the stairs. A general muttering and groaning from the floor indicated that people were waking up. Nobby thought quickly. He shook an admonitory cheese-straw of a finger.

'Let that be a lesson to you,' he said. 'Don't do it again.''

And ran for it.

Up in the darkness of the rafters the Librarian scratched himself reflectively. Life was certainly full of surprises. He was going to watch developments with interest. He shelled a thoughtful peanut with his feet, and swung away into the darkness.

The Supreme Grand Master raised his hands.

'Are the Thuribles of Destiny ritually chastised, that Evil and Loose Thinking may be banished from this Sanctified Circle?'

'Yep.'

The Supreme Grand Master lowered his hands.

'Yep?' he said.

'Yep,' said Brother Dunnykin happily. 'Done it myself.'

'You are supposed to say 'Yea, O Supreme One',' said the Supreme Grand Master. 'Honestly, I've told you enough times, if you're not all going to enter into the spirit of the thing-'

'Yes, you listen to what the Supreme Grand Master tells you,' said Brother Watchtower, glaring at the errant Brother.

'I spent hours chastising them thuribles,' muttered Brother Dunnykin.

'Carry on, O Supreme Grand Master,' said Brother Watchtower.

'Very well, then,' said the Grand Master. 'Tonight we'll try another experimental

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