Wyrd Sisters

want my advice, sire, I'd set fire to the thatch.'

'Set fire?'

'Yessire. We always do that if they don't answer the door. Brings them out a treat.'

'I don't think that would be appropriate, sergeant. I think I'll try the latch, if it's all the same to you.'

'Breaks my heart to see you do it, sire.'

'Well, I'm sorry.'

'You could at least let me buff it up for you.'

'No!'

'Well, couldn't I just set fire to the privy—?'

'Absolutely not!'

'That chicken house over there looks as if it would go up like-'

'Sergeant!'

'Sire!'

'Go back to the castle!'

'What, and leave you all alone, sire?'

'This is a matter of extreme delicacy, sergeant. I am sure you are a man of sterling qualities, but there are times when even a king needs to be alone. It concerns a young woman, you understand.'

'Ah. Point taken, sire,'

'Thank you. Help me dismount, please.'

'Sorry about all that, sire. Tactless of me.'

'Don't mention it.'

'If you need any help getting her alight—'

'Please

go back to the castle, sergeant.'

'Yes, sire. If you're sure, sire. Thank you, sire.'

'Sergeant?'

'Yes, sire?'

'I shall need someone to take my cap and bells back to the Fools' Guild in Ankh-Morpork now I'm leaving. It seems to me you're the ideal man.'

'Thank you, sire. Much obliged.'

'It's your, ah, burning desire to be of service.'

'Yes, sire?'

'Make sure they put you up in one of the guest rooms.'

'Yes, sire. Thank you, sire.'