'There's our Jason,' said Nanny happily. 'And Wane and Darron and Kev and Trev and Nev —'
'I will remember their faces,' said Lord Felmet, emerging between them and putting a hand on their shoulders. 'And do you see my archers, on the wails?'
'I see 'em,' said Granny grimly.
'Then smile and wave,' said the duke. 'So that the people may know that all is well. After all, have you not been to see me today on matters of state?'
He leaned closer to Granny.
'Yes, there are a hundred things you could do,' he said. 'But the ending would always be the same.' He drew back. 'I'm not an unreasonable man, I hope,' he added, in cheerful tones. 'Perhaps, if you persuade the people to be calm, I may be prevailed upon to moderate my rule somewhat. I make no promises, of course.'
Granny said nothing.
'Smile and wave,' commanded the duke.
Granny raised one hand in a vague motion and produced a brief rictus that had nothing whatsoever to do with humour. Then she scowled and nudged Nanny Ogg, who was waving and mugging like a maniac.
'No need to get carried away,' she hissed.
'But there's our Reel and our Sharleen and their babbies,' said Nanny. 'Coo-eee!'
'Will you shut up, you daft old besom!' snapped Granny. 'And pull yourself together!'
'Jolly good, well done,' said the duke. He raised his hands, or at least his hand. The other still ached. He'd tried the grater again last night, but it hadn't worked.
'People of Lancre,' he cried, 'do not be afeared! I am your friend. I will protect you from the witches! They have agreed to leave you in peace!'
Granny stared at him as he spoke. He's one of these here maniac depressives, she said. Up and down like a woss-name. Kill you one minute and ask you how you're feeling the next.
She became aware that he was looking at her expectantly.
'What?'
'I said, I'll now call upon the respected Granny Weatherwax to say a few words, ha ha,' he said.
'You said that, did you?'
'Yes!'
'You've gone a long way too far,' said Granny.
'I have, haven't I!' The duke giggled.
Granny turned to the expectant crowds, which went silent.
'Go home,' she said.
There was a further long silence.
'Is that all?' said the duke.
'Yes.'
'What about pledges of eternal allegiance?'
'What about them? Gytha, will you stop waving at people!'
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