Dev twisted a head of lettuce so hard it shredded in half in her hands. “I’m not
being emotional. I’m a scientist. I can cite the facts.
Better yet, I can take you down to the lake and show you the effects of thermal
alteration and industrial contamination on the ? sh and ? oral growth.”
“I’m sure you’re an excellent scientist, Dev,” Leslie said calmly. “But there’s a
big leap between documenting changes in ? sh populations and imposing
sweeping governmental restrictions on the corporate sector. Businesses are run
by people, you know. People who suffer because of these regulations.”
A muscle in Dev’s jaw twitched. She knew it wasn’t the time or place for this
kind of argument. Beyond that, she knew it wouldn’t do any good. She doubted
that Leslie would be doing any job she didn’t believe in, as hard as it was to
fathom that she’d chosen this side of the environmental debate. She tossed the
lettuce into the strainer and reached for another head. “Fish are people too.”
“Now there’s an argument that just might win in court,” Leslie said softly.
When Dev shot her a glance, Leslie smiled and some of the tension drained from
the room. “Let’s try for an easier subject,” Dev said. “Did you get your tests
today?”
Leslie shook her head. “I can see that you’re every bit as hardheaded as you
used to be.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Yes, most of them. The big ones.” Leslie turned her back and pulled two long
loaves of Italian bread from a basket next to the stove.
“Which ones?”
“An echocardiogram and a stress test.”
Dev felt a tightness in her chest just thinking that Leslie needed to have these
kinds of examinations. As casually as she could, she said,
“And?”
“There’s nothing structurally wrong with my heart.”
Dev slammed the lettuce down on the table, crossed to Leslie, and grabbed her
by the shoulders. She pulled her around until they were facing one another.
“Was that supposed to satisfy me?”
“I don’t have to satisfy you. There’s no reason I need to be telling you any of
this,” Leslie snapped, her eyes ? ashing. “And you can take your hands off me
now.”
• 120 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
“You’re right.” Dev lifted her hands and stepped back a pace.
“Sorry.”
“Dev—”
But Dev didn’t hear the rest of Leslie’s sentence. She was already out the back
door and halfway down the steps. She hadn’t meant to touch her. Not then. Not
now. Leslie did things to her. Stirred places inside of her that she didn’t even
know were there until they bubbled up and exploded out of her. God, she’d
thought that part of her, that crazy well of temper and helpless wanting, was
gone. Wiped out on the highway with her blood, lost during the many months of
pain while she’d struggled to ? nd her way back to some kind of life.
It hurt to know she’d been lying to herself all this time.
• 121 •
• 122 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Sitting on one of the stone benches along the shore, Dev watched the sunset,
trying to decide which was more beautiful, the beginning of the day or the
ending. Sunrise always seemed to bring the promise of possibility, and with it, an
undercurrent of joy. Nevertheless, she found this time of day to be her favorite,
even though it always made her a little bit sad for something she couldn’t name.
Tonight, mist rose from the lake, and as the sun dropped behind the mountains,
its last blue and purple rays were strewn across the water like angels cast out of
heaven.
“It’s almost too beautiful to look at, isn’t it?” Leslie said quietly.
Dev continued to stare at the lake. She hadn’t heard Leslie approach.
“Sometimes I wonder why I live anywhere else. I think your parents might have
the most beautiful spot on earth right here.”
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
“No, go ahead.”
After a few moments passed in silence and the colors leached from the sky,
leaving behind a pewter gray that would soon become black, Dev glanced at
Leslie. She’d changed into a V-neck sweater and jeans.
Her hair was loose, and in the hazy light, she could have passed for twenty. Dev
was stunned at an unexpected twist of longing and desire.
“I’m sorry about what happened in the kitchen. I—”
“No,” Leslie said quickly. “I’m sorry. That’s what I came to tell you.”
“How did you know where I was?”
“I didn’t. But your cabin was dark and your truck is still in the lot.”
After the guests were taken care of, she’d gone looking for Dev. At ? rst
• 123 •
RADCLY fFE
when she’d seen that Dev wasn’t in her cabin, she’d thought Dev had probably
gone somewhere with Natalie. It was pretty clear they were dating, and why
that should bother her, she didn’t know. But it seemed to put her in a foul mood.
All the way home from the hospital, she’d been looking forward to seeing Dev
and then when Dev had mentioned taking the afternoon off to spend with
Natalie out on the lake, she’d felt foolish. The conversation about work and
Dev’s obvious disdain had frayed the last bit of her nerves, and she’d lost her
temper. She never lost her temper. She never behaved like this at all. Constantly
examining her every feeling. She didn’t ruminate, she acted.
“You’ve been a great help in the last few days,” Leslie said, determined to get
back on sane footing. “And I want you to know I appreciate it.”
“I didn’t mean to get so personal tonight,” Dev replied. “I shouldn’t have
badgered you about the tests.”
“It’s okay. It was…nice of you…to be concerned.” Leslie meant it, and
couldn’t help but wonder why Rachel hadn’t asked. To be fair, though, she had
downplayed the entire thing with everyone.
Dev couldn’t help herself. “Did everything else turn out okay?
Besides the echocardiogram?”
Leslie sighed. “Not exactly. At the very end of the stress test I had a little bit of
that irregular heartbeat thing happen. Nothing terrible, and I didn’t really have
any symptoms. I was a little short of breath, but I was running uphill at ? ve
miles an hour.”
