Savage Awakening

as family.”

Zan gaped at him. “Why would you keep this from us? Even if you don’t consider her your sister, why didn’t you tell us?”

Jax lunged again, but was held back. “You should’ve warned us—me—about her true nature. But you never said a word.”

He tried to make them understand. “Looking back, yes, I should have. I was suspicious of Beryl’s motives, but I talked to her and she swore you guys made each other happy. I didn’t think she could’ve changed so much from the selfish bitch I’d known when her father married my mother and they moved in with us. But, Jax, you thought you were in love with her, remember? You wouldn’t have believed me.”

“You never gave me the chance!”

“You thought she was fantastic. Anything I said would’ve hurt our friendship.” He hated the desperate tone of his own voice. The fear.

“You could’ve at least mentioned her tie to you, if nothing else,” Ryon put in. “That’s messed up, man.”

“She begged me not to, and she did a great job of faking sincerity. She said she didn’t want the animosity between us to interfere with the love she’d found with Jax. I wanted to believe her, and that’s why I didn’t say anything. And after the ambush, the guilt was too much and I didn’t know how to come clean. Please, try to understand—”

“What I understand is that you should be dead,” Jax replied coldly. “It should be you.”

Jerking out of his friends’ grasp, he spun and stalked out of the room. Aric’s heart died in his chest, crumbled to ashes. Jax was right.

He had to get the fuck out of here. Whirling, he stumbled blindly for the exit and pushed outside, ignoring Nick’s shout to stop, Rowan’s entreaty to stay, that his friend didn’t mean it. He shut them all out and walked quickly, stripping off his shirt, kicking off his boots and unzipping his jeans. Then he jogged across the lawn, picking up speed until he was running.

He shifted without breaking stride, streaking for the forest. For freedom. If he ran far enough, fast enough, maybe he could outrun his teammates’ voices. The lost souls of Terry, Jonas, Nix, and Ari, accusing.

Do you think we’re out here waiting in despair, just like Micah? Being torn apart, piece by bloody piece, driven out of our minds? Praying for death?

It should be you.

Aric kept running. With no thought of ever going back.

“Aric, wait!” Rowan called. “He didn’t mean it!”

Her lover vanished through the outside door like a demon from hell was after him. The stark, naked agony on his face was something she’d never forget. After a moment’s hesitation, she jogged to the door and, searching, saw him shift and bolt for the woods. No way could she hope to catch him.

Turning back to Aric’s shell-shocked friends, she threw her hands up in frustration. “Well, aren’t you going after him? I sure as hell can’t catch him!”

“Fuck!” Nick burst out, shoving a hand through his dark hair. “Okay, leave Jax alone for now and let’s go.”

They filed out, and Rowan jogged in the other direction, intent on doing everything but leaving Jax in peace. Christ, this place had as much drama going on as they frequently did at the department. One major screwup and too much testosterone in a small space did not make for a harmonious environment.

She spotted her target’s retreating back at the end of the hallway and hurried to catch up. Grabbing his biceps, she jerked hard, which probably wasn’t the smartest move. He faced her with his lips pulled back in a menacing snarl, canines elongated and ready to rip something—or someone—to shreds. A glance at his hands showed that the backs had sprouted fur, his nails morphed into sharp claws that could kill in a split second.

And in that millisecond she thought about retreating with an apology—until she recalled Aric’s face, devoid of all hope.

She let every ounce of venom seep into her voice. “How could you? That man has been your loyal friend for years, ever since you guys were in the military, and you just shit on him?”

“He fucked up and cost us half the team,” Jax yelled.

“You’ve never fucked up?” she countered fiercely. “You’ve never done anything that cost the team? How about trusting the witch and bringing her here to start with?”

Bull’s-eye. For a couple of seconds, she really thought he’d strangle her. The man was big and truly scary, with his spiky black hair, goatee, and the tats running down one arm. But the feral light in his eyes dimmed, the merest fraction.

“If he’d told any of us—”

“Well, he didn’t, and there’s nothing anybody can do about it now. Yes, he screwed up, but he did it out of love for you, with the best of intentions. You heard him—he truly wanted to believe that she loved you and he didn’t want anything to get in the way of your happiness. Be honest. What would you have said to him if he’d bad- mouthed her back then?”

“I would’ve…” His protest trailed off, lost most of its heat. “I would’ve been pissed, and told him that he was full of crap. But we still might’ve caught on to her, if he’d just started the ball rolling.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Taking a chance, she grasped his shoulder, like she would a fellow officer. In friendship and gentle admonishment. “Jax, you just told a good man, a friend who’s had your back for years, that he should be dead. And he believed you.”

The words hung between them, awful with their weight.

“You did what?”

Both of them looked to Kira, who stood a few feet away staring at her mate as though she didn’t know him at all. She marched up to them, pinning him with a glare that made the tough wolf take a step back.

“Jax, who are you guys talking about?”

“Aric,” he said, his defensive tone suffering a quick demise at her incredulous expression. “I overheard him telling Rowan that Beryl is his stepsister! He kept that from me, from all of us. Don’t you understand what that means?”

“Yes. It means your friend makes mistakes like everyone else,” she snapped. “Don’t you understand how bad he must’ve felt all these months, how he probably has been beating himself up already? And then you came along and kicked him when he was down.”

The silence ticked away and Jax hung his head, pinching his nose. “God. What have I done?”

Kira took her mate’s hand. “Go after him. He’s not going to listen to anyone but you now.”

“I’ll make it right,” he promised hoarsely. The man wrapped his woman tightly in his arms, kissed her hard on the lips, and then headed off.

Rowan watched him go. “I didn’t think this day could get worse, but that’ll teach me to assume.”

To her surprise, Kira gave her a quick hug. “They’ll get things settled and it’ll be okay. This isn’t the first time those two have gone for each other’s throats and it won’t be the last.”

“I’m not sure that’s a comfort.”

“Alpha wolves. What can you do?”

Rowan was sure she had no clue.

Aric’s legs burned. His lungs were on fire, but he didn’t stop. For a while, he wasn’t conscious of where he was going, but in the back of his mind he must’ve known. The trees eventually thinned and he found himself racing toward a place where the earth met the sky. Nothing more than a sheer drop. At the last second, he skidded to a halt and stared over the edge of the deep ravine, breath sawing in and out, sides heaving.

What I understand is that you should be dead. It should be you.

His past had finally caught up with a vengeance. Life or death. Was there a choice, really?

It could all be over so quickly. Even a shifter wouldn’t survive a hundred-foot drop onto the rough terrain below. Wouldn’t that be kinder than dying by slow degrees, longing for a mate he couldn’t claim?

Exhausted, he lowered himself onto his belly and crawled to the lip, resting his muzzle on his paws. Rocks and dirt skittered over, into the abyss. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon, leaving the bottom of the ravine shadowed in blues and grays, cloaked from sight. All was still, the earth holding its breath. Waiting.