Untangle Me

“You’ll do it. You’re a persistent bastard,” John said, strolling down the street to get a drink on the next block.

The night flew by quickly, and I sent at least fifty pictures to Sophia. I hoped the virtual tour of the city and experiencing it with me, but from afar, had made her want to come here more than ever.

A Moment of Pause

Me: I’ve decided I’m going to come to New Orleans to see you.

I couldn’t wait any longer. My summer was slipping away. When the school year begins everyone wants to swap stories about their summer trips. As of this moment, the only place I’ve been is the community pool. I wanted that great story, the excitement.

Kayden: Seriously? How about in July? I can take a couple of days off work.

Me: Let’s plan on that. Let me know when you can get off work, and I’ll be there.

Kayden: I can take off anytime I want. How many days do you want to visit?

I’ve never driven to see a man I didn’t know. I didn’t have a wild past filled with men, but I wanted to meet him—I needed to meet him.

How long should I plan to stay in New Orleans? Most of the time I’d set the first meeting to last a couple of hours or over a cup of coffee, but we planned for a long weekend. I would have my own car and a means to exit the city—and his life—if it did not work out, which put my mind at ease. I wanted to get to know him and reminisce about home. It would be a long drive and I wanted time to relax and enjoy before having to return home. I would arrive on Friday and leave on Monday morning so he could go to work. I hoped that the trip and our meeting wouldn’t be a disaster.

Kayden had made it clear in our early conversations that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend—he was finished with relationships. He’d been burned by women too many times, and wasn’t looking for it to happen again. He wanted a physical relationship with someone, but not an emotional connection or a girlfriend—although I felt a shift in his attitude towards me. I was seeking excitement and he promised just that.

Before we finalized the plans, I told my brother about the upcoming trip. My brother remembered him from high school, but wanted to check him out since it’d been fifteen years.

“I told my brother that I’m coming to see you.”

“What did he say?” Kayden asked.

“He said he had a call to make and immediately hung up on me,” I replied.

“Think he’s calling some of my friends?” he asked.

“No doubt—knowing my brother, he’s looking for any red flags.”

“I have to tell you something first.” Nervousness filled his voice. “I have been arrested and am currently on probation.” was the next statement out of his mouth.

Stunned, I didn’t know what to say or think. He didn’t seem like a criminal, but a hard-working kind-hearted person… probation? Should I run? Fuck. I’d never invited trouble into my life before, but this was Kayden. My brother would find out if there’s a reason for me not to go. I’d wait until he gave me the okay.

“What happened? What did you do?” I implored.

“Well… it’s the reason my last relationship ended. I’m surprised you didn’t find it online.”

Weeks ago I do a search on him, but nothing interesting or notable was found.

“Where’d it happen?” I said.

He told me the location and I instantly searched online with his name and location. All of a sudden my browser was filled with information about his arrest. I skimmed the stories, looking at his mug shot, and trying to absorb the information.

“Please don’t look it up, let me explain what happened first,” he stated very quickly.

Too late, I had already become inundated with the gory details.

“I won’t look it up. What happened?” I asked trying to sound convincing.

Damn, why did I have to read the story? They couldn’t be entirely true.

Kayden recounted the entire evening to me.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Although my body was filled with liquor, my memories of that evening will be seared in my brain forever.

It all spiraled out of control. I had a few drinks with friends after work. I called Lisa to let her know that I was leaving and I’d be home soon. She was livid; she didn’t want me hanging out with friends after work.

“Hey Lisa, baby, I’m on my way home,” I said.

“I told you not to go out tonight. Have you been drinking?” Lisa asked in an accusatory tone.

“I had a couple with the guys, no big deal,” I replied assertively.

“I told you not to drink anymore, let alone hang out with those losers. Don’t fucking come home tonight!” Lisa yelled.

“Where the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight, Lisa?” I asked.

“I don’t give a shit. You’re not welcome here. Don’t come back here tonight or ever. I’m done with your bullshit and lies. You’re an asshole, and not worth the misery anymore. I’m through… we’re through!” Lisa screamed into the phone.

Click. Silence.

I quickly walked out the door, hopped in my work truck, and drove erratically towards home.

“Evening, John. Can you open the gate for me, please?” I asked.

“Sorry sir. Ms. Jackson said that you no longer live with her. I am not to let you in the front gate.”

“John, come on. You know I live here, I didn’t move. She’s just angry with me. Please,” I begged.

“Sorry, nothing I can do about it, sir, unless your name is on the lease, is it?” John asked.

“No, it’s not.” I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“Nothing I can do then. I can’t let you into the community if you’re no longer a resident,” John stated to me in a matter-of-fact tone, but with sadness in his eyes.

I had nowhere to go. Even though my mother lived nearby, Lisa had made sure to sever that relationship. I had to be at work tomorrow, and I needed my work clothes from the house. I pulled out of the community and parked my car on the side of the road. I needed time to think.

Where was I going to go? What was I going to do?

The alcohol was coursing through my veins and clouding my judgment. Lisa knew the consequences when she placed that call, I’d be in a panic with no alternatives. I had to find a way into the community.

I parked my truck in an empty parking lot within walking distance to the community. I walked through the darkened woods to the canal that surrounded the homes. It was thirty yards to the other side, which I knew I could swim easily. The only problem could be the alligators that were hidden by the veil of night. I swam as quickly as I could and tried not to look around. Adrenaline and alcohol were coursing through my veins and giving me stamina and strength beyond my natural abilities.

I climbed out of the water and collapsed on the bank. I stared at the stars, watched them twinkle in the sky, and caught my breath. I thought about my love for Lisa, and her ability to throw me out like a piece of garbage. My blood began to boil with anger, and it propelled my body forward. I walked with a purpose… get my clothes and get the fuck out.

I knocked on the door, but no one answered. The house was dark. I used my key to unlock the front door and enter ‘our’ home. I started thinking about all of the money, sweat, and tears that I poured into our relationship and the home we made together. My anger increased and my mind raced. I threw around some of the things that I had purchased. At what point did I snap? I’m not sure, looking back. I had been so controlled and excluded from other people in my life… she had played the last head game with me.