Oliver tilts his head at me, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Did you just pick me out of the blue?” I ask.
“Nina,” Oliver says, putting both hands around mine now. “Why do you think I rushed out to help you put Nate’s things in your car back at the nursing home?”
“You’re nice?” I offer.
“I’m a helpful guy,” he says, “but no. I wasn’t ready to see you go. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. You were so funny and smart. You were passionate about your dad’s care. I already felt like I knew you and I already liked you. You were completely oblivious to me, though.”
“Not completely.”
“It was all real. I didn’t seek you out to distract me. If I’d wanted a distraction, I would have gone for some pretty, young thing who just wanted to hook up and hang out at the bar.”
“I’ll try not to let that comment make me feel as old as I am.”
“What I mean is, I was never going to miss the silly games and shallow relationships. Choosing this calling meant sacrificing a real relationship with a woman I respected and loved. I thought I didn’t want to make that sacrifice. But it turns out, saying no to what I’ve always known I wanted was the sacrifice.”
I point at the church, and he nods.
“When I fell for you, I thought it meant I was right, that I’d been wrong about this gig.” He gestures at his clothes and back at the church. “I just didn’t want to listen when God was calling. I thought it would be easier that way—that answering Him would be hard. I didn’t want a hard life. I thought that the black robe looked scary, but now, I can’t wait to put it on every day. I wanted to open the door, but I knew there would be no going back once I did. Now that it’s open, I can’t stop myself from wanting to run through it.”
I squeeze his hand. “This actually makes me feel better about you turning me down all the time.”
“Do you have any idea how hard that was?” he says and smiles a devilish smile. “Letting go of you was a hard decision. Following Him wasn’t. I just had to get out of my own way.”
“So, once you do this”—I nod at the church behind us—“that’s that?”
“You mean dating and women and all that?” He chuckles. “Yep, that’s that.”
“Ever consider becoming Protestant?” I wink at him.
He laughs out loud, lighting up his beautiful face even more. He is completely at ease, and the difference in his demeanor and mannerisms is noticeable.
“It’s going to be totally unfair, you know,” I say, glancing around the colorful rose garden, seeing the beauty all around me. “These poor women having to confess to you about being attracted to their priest. Cut a girl some slack.”
“You’re just flattering me,” he says, waving it off, but blushing nonetheless.
“Maybe you can grow a huge beard or let your eyebrows get all wonky,” I say.
He laughs again and this time has a hard time getting himself back together. I laugh too.
“I’ll miss this part of us the most,” he says.
I realize that his hands are still pressed around mine.
“I’ll miss you, too,” I say and hold tighter to his hand. “So, what now? I guess you’re leaving for school?”
“The semester starts in August,” he says, “but I’ve missed registration already. So I’ll stay in town until January and go then. I need to get some things settled here anyway and make sure that Mr. Cole is taken care of. His daughter is finally able to move here, so she’ll take over the house and be here to look after him. Then I’ll head back to Charlotte, finish seminary, and see what God has in store for me. What about you?”
I don’t really have any idea. The lemonade book is done. The divorce is final. Cassie is still gone.
“What do you want, Nina?” Oliver asks, his eyes searching mine. “What would make your heart happy?”
“My heart?” I look away. “Aren’t you supposed to worry about my soul?”
“Classic Nina deflection,” he says and chuckles. “Yes, I’m concerned for your soul, and I’m here for you when you want to talk about that, too.”
I wrinkle my brow but stay silent.
Oliver touches my check. “What’s broken that needs to be fixed? What were you hiding from while you were at my house taking pictures of lemons? What didn’t you want to deal with?”
My marriage, my part in its demise, my teenage daughter growing up, up, and away.
“The easy way out is just a way out,” Oliver says. “Then the door shuts behind you, and everything you had is gone. You don’t have to let the door close on what you really want.”
“This right here is what I’m talking about,” I say, and Oliver wrinkles his brow. “How do you expect women to listen to your words of wisdom with that gorgeous face looking at them?”
“It’s just the way God made me,” he says and winks at me.
“Well done, God,” I say and make an exaggerated thumbs-up to the sky. “Well done, indeed.”
Oliver blushes and lets go of my hand. I think he’s going to stand up and leave, but instead he reaches out and touches my face. He runs a strand of my hair through his fingers and then puts his hands in his lap. This is his good-bye, I can feel it.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something. He opens his hand, and I see my wedding rings.
“I think we’ve both known all along what we really want,” he
