Stepping out of my clothes and into the shower, I turn the water on and adjust to a barely scalding setting before I get under the spray. The instant prick of pain that sizzles along my skin offers a touch of bliss. Would this be one of the healthier ways to deal with my need for pain?
I pour shampoo into my hands, rub them together, and slather my hair with the flowery scent. Nick loves the way I smell. He tells me all the time. I also have a bit of an obsession with his citrus and leather scent. He uses some type of hair product that his friend Genevieve sells to him that, mixed with his natural scent, turns into an orangey smell, but the leather…that’s all my man.
My man.
I laugh deliriously as I rinse out the shampoo. Nick’s shower is incredible. The pressure is fast and hard. He says he had to upgrade the shower when he moved in because he works his body hard in the gym and needs the water therapy. In my opinion, a large tub would do wonders, but he’d need to renovate the bathroom to do that. Of course, I could do that for him. Maybe as a thank-you present for helping me through this past week.
Storing the idea away for another time, I start to sing. The shower is the only place I can be free enough to let the music inside me out.
I hum the tune at first and then get louder with each verse until I’m belting through the lyrics for “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones. The song moves my heart in ways so many others haven’t. Words of suffering and pain have always resonated so clearly with me over the years. I’ve got my eyes closed when I sing my heart out to the last line.
“Fuck, Honor!” Nick’s voice startles me and makes the images the song inspired disappear instantly inside my mind. “Babe, you’re a songbird.”
Nick steps into the shower completely naked. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him naked, but this time feels different. More meaningful. The energy around us both is hypercharged and magnetic.
Nick brings his hands to my waist and tugs me flat against him. “You can sing like angel,” he whispers in awe.
I shake my head. “No, I can’t. I just…”
He runs a hand up my bare back, causing goosebumps to rise over my skin even against the heat of the water. “Yeah, babe, you are. Fucking incredible. We’ve gotta get you singing on stage.”
My eyes practically bulge out of my head, and I try to back away, but he doesn’t allow it. “No, no, no, not possible.”
His lips twist into a wicked, sexy slant. “Oh yes, anything’s possible, Dove. Anything. Sing something else for me?”
I cringe. “Here? Now?” I run my fingers down his sculpted arms, arousal flickering through my body at his nearness.
“If you do, I’ll reward you,” he taunts in a husky timbre while bringing a hand down and squeezing bare ass. The movement forces his hard length against my belly, and I moan, knowing just how badly I want him inside me. He’s been denying me all week, stating that he wanted me fully on board mentally and physically when we took that last step. I’ve almost been to the point of begging for it, I want him so badly.
“Will you fuck me if I do?” I raise my eyebrows and purse my lips, waiting for his answer, hoping for the response I want.
He cocks his head to the side and gets his face low enough to look me in the eye. “No, Dove, I’m not gonna fuck you the first time. I will make love to you, though.”
A ribbon of heat flutters along the surface of my skin and flushes my cheeks.
“Sing to me.”
“What do you want me to sing?”
He holds me close, our bare skin touching from knee to chest. I tremble against him, but he’s there to keep me upright. “Our song.”
“Which is what?” My voice shakes, wondering how he sees us. What song he’ll chose that speaks of what this thing between us feels like for him.
“Hallelujah.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat, and the steam billows around us in the confined space. I close my eyes and start to sing the song that would change me for the rest of my life. When I get to the part about the woman in the moonlight, I tip my head back and give it my all, each verse ringing through the bathroom walls. Nick’s hands move over my body as I sing. Caressing, worshiping…loving.
A certain verse speaks of my own tale of broken love with my parents, my brother, myself. This time, I sing of love from my heart, for the man cradling me, bared in body and soul. I’m learning anew what love can truly be if it’s given freely and without limitations.
By the time I get to the end of the song and sing the very last hallelujah, his lips are on mine. Nick ushers me against the wall of the shower, drinking deeply from my mouth. His hands cradle my face as he kisses me. He doesn’t have to speak to tell me what this kiss means. I know from each press of his lips to mine, his tongue to mine, this is it. This is when our bodies, our hearts, and our souls will connect in an unbreakable bond that will span time.
He kisses me so hard and so long, the water goes cold. He moves back a few inches, holding my face with one of his hands.
“We’re starting
