‘Scared? Never. When I can’t sleep I just stand and look out of the window. It makes me feel like I’m on top of a mountain or something. Like if I jumped out I could just spread my arms and I’d fly. Float. Like a silver seagull.’
I shivered.
Despite all this, it was brilliant having somewhere of our own to go to. There was a niggly, anxious part of me that half-expected the police to knock on the door and tell us we were squatting there illegally, or that we were being arrested for having a flat full of stolen goods. Things just appeared: bedding, a music dock, even a toaster. I kept telling Zoe to stop it and that she was going to get caught, but when I did she just laughed. And in the tiny kitchen there was always soup, tea, chocolate, bread. Everything found its way to the flat via Zoe’s coat pockets or else she coolly walked out of a shop holding a big box in front of her, with the confidence of someone who’d paid. She used a different supermarket every time, she told me – and she always watched it for a little while first to see what she could get away with. Whenever we had something to eat or drink, Zoe would make a joke about disposing of the evidence. She insisted the spirits were taking care of her. ‘I kind of imagine that I’m invisible,’ she said, laughing. ‘It seems to work.’
The only place she didn’t steal from was Dead Bouquet. She said it was too small and didn’t make enough profit, so it would be immoral.
The best thing that happened, as we slid towards the end of the damp summer holidays and into a grey September, was Luke coming back home. It meant Kerry came back too, of course, so it was one of those situations where my mum would joke that ‘every silver lining has a cloud’. I met up with Luke at the bus stop the day before term started again. I’d been worried that I might feel awkward about him, after a two-week break, so I took Barney with me for moral support, but when Luke saw me he held his arms wide open and I just ran into him and into a tight, tight hug.
‘I’ve really missed you, Anna.’ He kissed the top of my head. I loved it when he did that. His body was always warm. I’d missed his clean, shower-gel smell and the way he’d wrap his jacket round me to keep me warm too.
I asked him how Kerry had enjoyed her break. He laughed. ‘Yes, she loved it. You know how she goes into everything like it’s all so exciting, like a great big kid.’ He paused to stroke Barney’s ears. ‘She talked about you all the time, though. It’s like a badge of honour for her, having you as a friend. My aunt said at one point that if she heard any more about the Amazing Anna she would scream.’
Luke’s course and his part-time job meant we were not going to be able to see each other as much as we wanted, but we started texting each other dozens of times a day and calling every night. Given that I was supposed to start thinking about exams, it wasn’t the right time to break it to Mum or Dad that I had a boyfriend anyway – in my head, I could already hear their list of objections. Anyway, seeing less of Luke would keep Zoe off my back.
Even once we were back at school, Zoe and I spent as much time as possible at Flat 1413. We worked out a system for getting rid of Kerry every day at the edge of The Cut. We would make like we were going home but after a few minutes we’d sneak back and meet up again, right in the middle of The Cut, and go to the flats. My mum thought we were spending more time with our made-up mate, Emma Wood, because I told her the imaginary Emma had a better sound system.
Almost every time I went, I noticed more of Zoe’s stuff in the bathroom and little piles of her clothes on the floor. I asked if her mum didn’t mind her staying out all night. ‘I tell her I’m at yours, if she ever asks,’ Zoe said.
‘I wish you wouldn’t,’ I said. ‘What if she comes looking for you?’
‘She won’t,’ Zoe said. ‘She’s just glad to get rid of me most of the time.’
As for me: I couldn’t work out what was going on with my mum and dad. He was still with us, but he kept saying how he should find his own place and stop taking advantage of Mum. He looked sad all the time. A little older, the frown line between his brows getting deeper. And Mum was snappier than usual.
I kept hoping to walk in and find them holding hands or something, announcing with silly grins that the divorce was all one big mistake and that they were getting back together again for good. But it didn’t happen.
One morning, when Mum found herself tripping over the lead to Dad’s laptop, she actually swore. Mum almost never swore.
‘Excuse me,’ I said, half-laughing. ‘If I used that kind of language you’d go mad.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Mum winced. ‘But it’s getting beyond a joke, isn’t it? This place just isn’t big enough for three. The extra cash is nice, of course, but…’ She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. ‘And that dog… I know you’re fond of him, but he’s so big and drippy.’
‘It’s good to have Dad around again, though, isn’t it?’ I asked. ‘He fixed that blocked drain the other day and you said it saved you calling a plumber.’
‘Yes, all of that’s great.’ Mum stopped and sighed. I could see her choosing her words. ‘And it must be nice for you to have him around, I
