“An important characteristic, I daresay.” Mimi smiled now. “’Specially in a spouse.”
Lena pondered that. “I’m not sure patience is the main concern with my beau, though. I mean, if Hans felt impatient to marry me, I’d have had a proposal in a letter by now, seems to me.”
“If he were ready to make a lifelong commitment, maybe so. But from what you’ve just shared, that hardly seems likely.”
Lena bowed her head. She ran her hand over the shirt she’d been mending and sighed. “I thought I was ready to move forward with marriage, but ’specially since Christmas, I’ve begun to wonder. . . . Could be I’ve been foolin’ myself about Hans.” She lifted her head and fixed her gaze on Mimi. “I mean, is any courtship s’posed to be this hard?”
Mimi folded her arms and leaned back from the table. “That depends on the couple. And if Hans is seeking out another girl at Singing, that’s not a gut sign, jah?”
Lena knew Mimi was right but said nothing. It was too hard to get any words past the tightness in her throat.
“I know you’ve expressed that you’re tryin’ to be, and do, what your beau wants.” Mimi stopped to take a sip of water from the tumbler she had nearby. “But ya know that can only go so far. A beau needs to love you for who you are, not who you’re tryin’ to be. There’s a danger there of tryin’ to make things happen in your own power—not putting your trust in our heavenly Father.”
The fact that Mimi felt comfortable speaking so plainly like this made Lena feel secure in their closeness. “I admit that I have difficulty trusting. I tend to want to make things work out my way.”
Mimi smiled. “Realizing that can be the first step toward a better relationship . . . and I don’t mean just with a young man.”
Lena knew she needed to put more trust in God. Why was it so hard for her to do what seemed to come naturally to some? Like Mimi, she thought, thankful for her caring. The kindhearted woman had taken the time to talk with her the way her mother might have. “Denki for listening while I spilled my heart.”
“Anytime ya need a listening ear, Lena.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she nodded her thanks.
Truth be known, even though it might have seemed to others that she was beginning to recover from her parents’ untimely death, Lena was, in fact, still trying to make sense of all the jumbled pieces of her life, like the jigsaw puzzles she loved to put together. Till Emma’s letter arrived, Hans Bontrager had certainly been one of those important pieces, if not one of the most important.
CHAPTER
23
Another letter came for Lena that Thursday afternoon, this one from Mammi Schwartz. It told the news that Tubby Tabby had somehow escaped the house and run off.
Oh, Lena! Chris just fell apart when Tabby disappeared yesterday—he wouldn’t stop crying. At the time, it seemed over-the-top, but that cat is so dear to him. I wonder now, however, if his sadness over Tabby isn’t made worse by the loss of your parents and by being away from you and the rest of your brothers and sisters. The poor child has had to put up with so much in such a short time!
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the worst of it. . . .
Reading on, Lena discovered that Chris had donned his winter things and headed out to find the missing cat without Mammi’s and Dawdi’s knowing. For a couple dreadful hours, we had no idea where he was, Mammi wrote, but Wilbur and your uncle Noah went out there looking with many of the menfolk, and thankfully Wilbur found him—and Tabby—before too long.
Lena felt nearly ill at the thought of her little brother alone in the cold, searching for his beloved pet. Why had Chris taken such a terrible risk? Thank goodness he isn’t still out there!
Even so, the unsettling news made her realize how helpless she was to protect her siblings, and she wished all the more that she could be there in Centreville. Mammi’s right—Chris has gone through too much these past months! she thought.
At supper, Lena told the others about Chris’s disappearance and rescue. “Mammi said he went looking for his missing cat.” She stopped for a moment and rubbed her temples; the headache she’d had since reading Mammi’s letter continued to nag her. “Ach, I can’t understand how this happened,” she told them.
Harley’s face was as solemn as Eli’s, and Solomon shook his head across the table from her and Mimi.
Harley spoke up. “Well, I’m glad to hear Chris is fine.”
“He may be fine now,” Lena said, “but the fact he was able to slip away still troubles me. He needs someone to keep a careful eye on him, yet here I am.” She shook her head. “I hate feeling so useless . . . so stuck.”
Solomon slowly put down his fork. “ ’Tis understandable, but it’s quite all right not to be in charge of things, Lena Rose. No one but Gott can do that, and He knows our comin’s and goin’s from one day to the next, jah?” Solomon looked at her, so serious. “He knows just where Chris is from minute to minute. Why not do like the Good Book says and give your worries to Gott? It might not feel natural to do it, ’specially at first, but you can trust Him.”
Eli nodded thoughtfully, and Lena turned to glance at Mimi, then at Solomon again. In that moment, Lena felt surrounded by love.
“Denki,” Lena said.
Harley cleared his throat and looked over at her. “If ya don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment to thank the Lord for gettin’ Chris home so quickly,” he said, surprising Lena Rose. Then Harley bowed his head,
