The Saturday mail had already arrived when Lena returned home. And to her immense surprise, it included a letter from Hans. “You’ll likely want to read this right away,” Mimi said, presenting it to her with a sympathetic look.
Lena went to sit near the window in her room, needing the warmth of the sun on her back. Now that it was actually here, she felt hesitant to open Hans’s long-awaited letter, but her heart was not in her throat as she had suspected it might be.
The first page was filled with mundane weather-related comments, and she began to doubt he was going to address the issue she expected was at hand.
Then her eyes fell on these words:
It’s possible you’ve already heard about the Singings I attended recently. I should’ve written to you first, before spending time with any other young woman. And I apologize for that, Lena. You deserve better.
Lena stopped reading and looked out at the now familiar scenery—even prior to this letter, she’d considered writing a note to Hans to tell him she was having second thoughts about their letter-writing courtship. The delays between letters and the belated Christmas card with its impersonal note had caused her to question the strength of the bond between them. Emma’s letter had only confirmed the wisdom of rethinking their courtship.
But thus far, Lena had held off on writing, at least since sending her short response to his card. She’d wanted to convince herself that she was giving Hans more time, but she felt guilty at the sudden realization that it was more likely due to a fear she might now never get home if she mailed off such a letter. Truly, she needed to separate her feelings for Hans from her intense desire to return to Centreville.
Returning to the letter, Lena read on:
I’ve spent some time thinking about our relationship, Lena Rose. Much as I like you, it’s awful hard to court when you’re so far away—it just isn’t the same at all. I’m not cut out for it. In my mind, we’ve drifted apart. Don’t you agree?
She spoke a resounding jah out loud. And knowing she was in complete agreement with Hans, she now felt at peace about writing him to share how she felt, with no hard feelings or lingering questions.
Her father’s loving postcards came to mind. Hans didn’t show me the same regard that Dat had for Mamma, or even Harley for Mimi. If she was honest with herself, Lena hadn’t felt the same love for Hans, either.
And I must marry for love alone. . . .
She set Hans’s letter on the dresser and returned to the kitchen.
“I hope it’s not bad news,” Mimi said as Lena joined her at the counter.
“Actually, it’s not.” And Lena told Mimi that her courtship with Hans had mutually ended. “I’m just fine with it, which might seem peculiar after all the fretting I’ve done.”
Mimi listened without judgment, her expression relieved.
“God must have another plan,” Lena said.
“That’s the best way to look on it, ain’t so?”
Lena agreed.
CHAPTER
24
Even before Lena was downstairs making breakfast for Harley and Eli early that first Thursday in February, Mimi was off with three of her sisters and Ada to help Tessa finish packing. Afterward, they would all unpack at the new place and at least get Tessa’s kitchen set up while Manny and a few of the men put together the beds and the crib. According to Harley, the rented house was about a mile up the road. “An easy walk in nice weather,” he told Lena and Eli at breakfast.
Lena had been content to stay behind and work on the mending and tailoring, adding some of Mimi’s work to her own. But she doubted it would take very long for Mimi and the other womenfolk to accomplish the task of boxing things up. It sounded as though Manny’s mother would look after little Joey during the move.
Seeing little Joey nestled in Tessa’s arms during their last visit had stirred up a longing in Lena for her own babies someday. She wondered if she might have more opportunities to see that darling baby boy now that Tessa would be living just up the road. Lena smiled as she threaded a needle and made a knot at the end of the long black thread. Mimi can scarcely contain her delight!
But now that Lena was without a beau it was futile to be thinking about future babies. Of course, if Emma were sitting right here talking with her, like they always had when sewing new dresses or aprons, she would have encouraged Lena that the situation was sure to change. Why, knowing Emma, she would be happy to put a bug in a young man’s ear if she knew he’d caught Lena’s attention.
Unfortunately, as Lena recalled, there were no other young men her age in Centreville without sweethearts. And if there were, it never seemed to take them long to pair up by this time each year. That’s how it is, she thought, not second-guessing her split with Hans. And if I’m not there, I can’t meet a potential beau.
Finished with the hem of the jacket and now in need of some different colored thread, Lena rose and walked over to Mimi’s work area. For the first time, she noticed what looked like a list of names written in Mimi’s hand—a prayer list. And as Lena stepped closer, she saw the words Lena Rose’s future at the top.
“Bless you, Mimi, for caring so deeply,” she whispered.
Rebekah arrived for her lesson that Friday afternoon looking cheerful and eager. She let Lena know that this would be her last lesson, since she was feeling much more confident, but she’d keep reading aloud at Cora Ruth’s for practice.
Lena was secretly grateful that Rebekah had chosen to start with Isaiah forty-one, verse ten. “‘Fear
