Poisonous let those words sink in. “Thank you. It makes me feel good to hear those words. “VD—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyebrows furrowing. “Okay…that name just won’t do anymore. You need to have a nicer name when you are here with me. How about ‘Veronica?’”
VD stood in stunned silence for a few moments. “You know, Poisonous, I think I like it.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. You’re now to be called ‘Veronica’.”
She took up her previous train of thought. “You know, Veronica, I have a strong feeling that both of our hearts are being changed. If you can change, then so can I.”
“How am I changing? Please tell me, Poisonous. I really need to know, because whatever is happening to me is rather scary, although I think I’m glad it is. You must admit that this feels nice... unusual, but nice. I think your heart is finding tenderness. It’s even beginning to show in your face. Take heart, my sister; you are beginning a battle you can win. Evie and Cydnie believe in me, in spite of myself, so I believe in you.”
“Are you surprised that your old partner can care about you?” she asked. “You’re my friend, Veronica. And for once, demon or not, I actually like the idea.” She went to VD, and hesitating at first, reached out her arms, and hugged her. “Take care, my friend.”
VD hugged her back without hesitating. “You too,” said VD as she left.
Twenty-one
Wednesday, October 1st
“Oh come on Shane…” The hurt in Jennifer’s voice pricked at his conscience. “You know we’ll have a good time. I promise you.”
Shane sighed. “I appreciate your offer, believe me, Jennifer, but I’m really going to have to pass.”
He made a valiant attempt to sound cheerful, but it came out forced and perfunctory.
“Is there something wrong between us, Shane? If you want to break up, I’ll understand, but I think you should at least tell me why. You owe me that much.”
“Look, I know this sounds cliché, but it’s not you; it’s me. I just need something more than these casual relationships. It’s nice, especially with you, but it isn’t enough. I realize it doesn’t make much sense to you, but you must believe me. I’m ready for more, Jennifer. No offense.”
“OK, Shane. I’ll try to understand.” Her voice cracked, and he winced.
Jennifer stifled her sobs. “I wish you the best, Shane. I really do.”
“Thanks, Jenn. You’ve made me see things I wouldn’t normally see in a relationship: I honestly think I’ve grown, but I need to re-evaluate and move on.”
An awkward silence lingered.
“Well, take care of yourself, Jenn. Maybe I’ll see you around.” He pushed the disconnect button on his cell phone before she could try to talk him out of it, and decided to ignore any further calls. His life lacked a fundamental truth; something integral and vital; the game had become empty and he needed more. That missing piece eluded him, and he intended to rectify the situation.
* * *
Poisonous woke up in a good mood. She smiled, and sang—pretty well, too. “Wow, this is great.” Even her walk was upbeat. While she sang to herself, she made herself some tea. She sat on the balcony, lost in all her new thoughts, especially of Veronica. “Old partner, I love you, I really do.” She didn’t even think about using the word ‘love.’ It felt natural now.
She sat and stared at nothing in particular. Her smile disappeared, and her mood darkened. Sad thoughts filled her mind from every direction. As she lingered over her tea, her head lowered, and her eyes became downcast. “And yes, Veronica, I’m sure you love me, but why? For that matter, why do others love me? I am a demon. I’m evil. I have no right to be loved.”
The thought of others loving her become unbearable. She held her hands to her head, willing all her thoughts to go away. She needed to stop thinking. All she could do was to hold herself in her arms, and tremble. “Why do you trouble me so, Poisonous? Why don’t you just leave my thoughts and me alone? I can’t bear to see or think of you anymore.” Redness filled her eyes, and her throat was tight with a painful emotional lump. To make matters worse, the more she got angry with herself for being so weak, the sadder she felt.
Evie broke her reverie, walking in the door from work.
Poisonous sat on the couch, cross-legged, trying to find a comfortable position, but squirmed and changed position repeatedly. “Curses!”
She looked at Evie, and then turned quickly away.
“What’s wrong, Poisonous?”
She turned back to Evie, put her hands around her legs and shook her head. “Evie, I’m losing my mind.”
“Why do you say that? What’s bothering you?”
“I... I don’t know how to make this guilt go away.” Poisonous eyes glassed over. “I’ve spent most of the day struggling with my thoughts.” She stood up suddenly, her face set like a flint. “I have to get out of here, Evie. I just... have to get out of here. I think a change of scenery will help me think more clearly. I hope you understand.” She looked pleadingly at Evie.
“I understand, honey. Go let the Lord help you think.”
She mumbled a quick “Thank you,” and ran down the hall, leaving the room and Evie quickly. She didn’t wait around to look at Evie as she left. The love her new roommate so freely gave her made her feel even more undeserving. Her pace picked up as she approached the elevator and hurried in; hoping against hope no one else would be in there. Mercifully, no passengers had gotten on the elevator. Poisonous didn’t want to have to answer well meaning, but trite Smalltalk with people she didn’t know.
Poisonous left the building and
