‘Apa, what?’ I asked him and gave him my galak look times one thousand.
He looked a bit less cocky now and said, ‘Tidak apa apa, non, nothing Miss.’
‘No,’ I said, ‘What do you mean already finished? Tell me.’
I was so mad at him, at Charlie, and at myself that I didn’t feel shy anymore. He hesitated again, but when I clenched my fist and took one more step towards him he finally answered.
‘Nothing, Miss … Just that Mr errr. Mr … often has …’ Now it was his turn to look ashamed or embarrassed.
‘Mr often has what, Mas?’ I asked him, still clenching my fist.
‘Erm … girls come to this room and I thought …’
What was I hearing? Charlie told me he had no friends and now this … man, was telling me he had many girls come to his room, some maybe were even bad girls. I was so shocked. Really, I was.
‘Ah, really? Are you sure? Ha! You thought I was a pelacur or a gadis nakal, naughty girl, didn’t you?’
‘Maaf, Mbak, sorry, Miss,’ was all he could reply.
I wanted to hit him, I really did, but I just went outside and called a taxi. I got in it and even though it was already late and dark I put on my sunglasses so the driver couldn’t see my tears.
Charlie had made love to me! Worse than that he had treated me like a pelacur and now I knew he often did that with girls.
I cried all the way home and it wasn’t until I got into bed that I realized that the doorman had referred to the apartment as ‘this room’ and not ‘his room’.
Fast-forward a couple of weeks and I was back in my office and starting to put the nightmare behind me. I still felt that Charlie was not a nice man and I didn’t want to see him again or even talk to him, but I no longer felt as bad anymore. I knew it was not my fault everything that happened. It was his and I also knew that one day he would be sorry for how he lived his life now and he would be the loser.
No. I decided, I won’t be sad anymore. I will just learn my lesson and move on.
For the first time in a while I was feeling really happy again. Selvey was being nicer to me than usual. She had seldom been angry recently and she was laughing a lot. I wondered why? Maybe something good was happening in her life again. I hoped so. She is a nice lady, really.
I didn’t tell her (much) about what happened with Charlie Bugil – that’s what I decided to call him now- except that I wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. She just smiled and said ‘ok’ when I told her that and didn’t ask me any questions.
I just didn’t want to tell her, or anyone, about what we did. You know, the ‘bad’ thing, because I thought she might think that was not too good.
I didn’t tell Ari much about what happened, either, but I think he guessed. I spoke to him by phone the next morning and I told him I was sad. He asked me if it was because of bugil and when I didn’t answer he said he guessed that bugil had hurt me. He is a good boy. He told me it was ok, and that he was there for me always. He didn’t say I was bad or wrong for doing ‘that’ with bugil.
Actually, maybe I should tell you something. A long time ago, when we were in high school, Ari and I made love! We were very young; maybe 17 or 18, and we wanted to know what it was like because all our friends were talking about ‘it’ and so one day when we walking home Ari asked me if I was still a virgin.
I was very shocked and I felt my cheeks burning, but I said
‘Ariansa Wiboso! How can you ask me that question! You know I am. Have you ever seen me with a boyfriend?’
He just laughed and said, ‘Sorry sis, it’s just that everyone in our class is talking about sex and it seems that you and I are the only ones who have not tried it yet.’
I was a bit surprised at first that Ari was telling me this, because his words meant that he was a virgin too, and I knew boys don’t like to admit to that.
‘Ya,’ I said, ‘I sometimes wonder what it is like to do “it”, but I can’t try with someone I don’t know well, can you?’
‘No, of course not,’ he said, but then he looked at me and said: ‘but you know me well, don’t you?’
‘What do you mean?’ I knew what he meant, of course, but I just pretended I didn’t.
‘Well, we know each other and … well, maybe we could find out together?’ He was smiling when he said this, but I know Ari. I know when he is serious and when he is joking and at this time he was definitely serious.
‘Ok, then,’ I said quickly, ‘Let’s go to my house now and “do it”. There’s no one there now.’
He was shocked. ‘Are you sure? I didn’t mean it,’ he stuttered.
‘Yes, you did,’ I said, ‘and yes, I am sure. Why not? You think only boys are interested in sex?’
Then I smiled and punched him on the arm and we went to my house and made love.
That’s all I’m going to tell you, except to say we never did it again and we never talked about it either. But it was nice and I don’t regret it.
After all the nonsense with Charlie, I started writing on my blog again. Do you know what a blog is? I am sure you do. It is kind of a personal website where you can write things or post pictures or do other things. I liked to
