“They’re driving car 9915.”
Dino smirked as he swallowed the last of his treat. “Those are the senior guys my training officer told me about. Somehow, they always get one of the few two-man cars. Rumor has it they’re butt buddies. My training officer said lots of two-man cars do it on night shift.”
“Aw, fucking rumors.” Bander shrugged. “And so what if they fuck or suck each other? It don’t bother us. Let’s go find ‘em so the lieutenant can chew their asses.”
Dino drove south on Highway 101, a four-lane road that went into a rural area. At the city limits, he turned west into the farm area, holdouts to San Jose’ urban growth. He used his spotlight to shine left and right, including down driveways and paths for the farms. As he lit an old apple orchard, he caught a strange reflection. He stopped, backed up, and focused his spot light. Again, an odd reflection. He drove down a path, considering if it was a downed flying saucer, and he wondered how he could play that into a joke.
As he drew closer, with his spotlight blazing, the outline of a car and a police light bar on the roof came into view. There was movement in the back seat. The car number was 9915. Dino approached with his gun out after flashing the light all around. Maybe the guys were kidnapped or are being held. He called on the radio to report in but was in one of the dead spots.
From inside the back of the patrol car, someone yelled, “Open the fucking door.”
He did. The two naked officers clambered out from the caged back seat to the front seat and their uniforms.
One officer moaned. “Thanks, kid. Anyone know you’re here?”
Dino holstered his gun. His gut churned. “No. This is a dead spot. Can’t transmit.” He stared.
The first officer dressed and put his gun belt on. “Look, I know this looks bad, but we’re not gay or anything, uh, you know. We had the door open then a sudden gust of wind slammed it shut.”
Dino nodded as he tried to fathom it all and not believing their excuse. “Yeah, uh-huh.”
The second officer, now dressed, walked up to Dino. “What the fuck do you think you know? You’d better keep your mouth shut about this. I don’t even want you dreaming about it.” He pointed a finger an inch from Dino’s nose.
Dino slapped it away. “Fuck you. I just did you a favor. Does thank you exist in your fucking vocabulary? Don’t threaten me; I’m a cop just like you.”
The first officer stepped between them. “Hey, sorry. He’s embarrassed. So am I.” He offered his hand. “I’m Joe Sanders. My partner is Phil Larson. He’s a good guy, just embarrassed. We’re both married. You did us a huge favor, thank you.”
“There’s a search on for you since you didn’t answer the roll call.”
“Fuck. What story can we come up with?” The partners stared at each other.
Dino mumbled, “Open the hood of your car. Say you were on patrol and suddenly lost all electrical power. The radios don’t work out here.” He rushed to his car and retrieved some wrenches. The guys stared. “I was a mechanic before I became a cop.” He used one too-loose wrench to mangle the nut on the terminal for the battery. “You say the battery cable came loose. I found you, tightened it but didn’t have the right sized wrench. Drive to a good radio area and check in.” He stared at each older officer. “I’m Dino Parelli. I’ll keep this quiet.”
The second officer shook his hand. “Thanks. I’m sorry I went off on you.”
* * * *
At the end of shift in the locker room, Dino’s sergeant strolled up. “Pirelli, good work finding those guys.” He sighed. “I don’t buy the story they’re pedaling, but I’m not doing anything about it. The lieutenant’s chewing their asses now.”
Dino shrugged. “Sarge, it’s true. The flying saucer’s magnetic field interfered with the police radio. They couldn’t receive or transmit.” He smirked.
The sergeant shook his head and walked off.
Bander met Dino leaving the locker room. “Hey, do you want—”
Parelli barked, “Yes, I do want some drinks. Lots of them, but my place, not the bar.”
Bander lost his smile and only nodded, obviously trusting his bud.
At Dino’s house, they settled on opposite ends of the couch with beers in the sparsely furnished living room. Bander drank.
“What’s eating you all of a sudden?”
Words failed Dino. Mr. Gregarious and Wise-Ass had no response. He drank more beer. His gaze met Bander’s, whose eyes filled with concern. With a mild smile, he waited.
Dino finished his first beer. Bander brought another and settled at the far end of the couch, slipping his shoes off. Their eyes met again.
Dino sucked a breath in. “I promised not to tell anyone, but I have to. You’re my best friend.”
Bander slid closer. “Are you in trouble? Pregnant?”
He shook his head. “When I found Larson and Sanders last night, there was nothing wrong with the car battery. They were tucked back in an orchard.” He guzzled his beer. “And were locked in the back seat together, and totally naked. All their gear was in the front seat.”
“What?”
“They said they’re not gay, and both are married. It was awkward. I promised not to tell and made up the story about the car battery.”
“Well, we’d heard rumors about them.” Norris drank more. “You know what, who cares? Society is so fucked up on sexuality. Who cares if someone is gay, lesbian, or bisexual or purple?”
Dino’s eyes drifted off to focus on nothing. Ha, maybe Norris is right. Why am I so upset over it? “Why do they have to do it on duty? What if a crook found ‘em and killed them?”
“Yeah, good point.”
Dino emptied the beer and stood. “I have to piss.” He pursed his lips. “Maybe you’re right. So what?” He patted his bud’s shoulder. “Thanks. But we should still keep it secret, okay?”
Bander nodded, grinned deep,
