Indranath said with a smile, ‘Yes, I know. I have heard about it and that is why I did not dare say anything to your father. Although not knowing would not have made any difference to my decision. Forget being a widow, even if Maani were an untouchable or worse than the worst, for me she is a jewel of a woman. We look for an experienced person when we want help with little things but when it comes to a companion in life’s journey, we consider prior experience to be a defect. I am not the one to suppress the law. There is no school greater than the school of adversity. One can happily surrender one’s life strings to a person who has graduated from this school. To me, being a widow is not a handicap—it is an asset.’
Gokul said, ‘But what about the people in your home?’
Indranath said firmly, ‘I do not consider my family so stupid that they would object to this proposal. If they do, I would like to keep my destiny under my control. My elders have many rights over me. In many situations, I consider their desire to be the ultimate law but I do not wish to be controlled by anyone when it comes to the pursuit of my soul’s progress. I wish to enjoy the pride of being the architect of my own life.’
‘And if Maani does not accept, then?’ asked Gokul doubtfully.
Indranath found this doubt totally baseless. He said, ‘You are talking like a child, Gokul. It is a given that Maani will not accept easily. She will get kicked around, snubbed and abused but will continue to stay in this very house. It is not easy to erase sanskara but we will have to persuade her. We will have to exorcize her accumulated impressions. I am not in favour of widows getting married again. I think the ideal of exclusive dedication to one’s husband is the most priceless jewel on earth and we should attack it with care but this problem does not arise vis-à-vis Maani. Love and devotion are for a person and not to a name. She cannot be in love with a man she has not even seen. It is only a matter of ritual and convention. We should not worry about this display and outward show. I think somebody is calling you. I will also go now . . . I’ll see you in a couple of days. But you don’t hesitate and think too much about it, and let days go by.’
Gokul put his arms around Indranath and said, ‘I will come to you myself day after tomorrow.’4
The wedding party had departed. The guests had also left. It was nine o’clock It is well known how soundly one sleeps after a wedding! Everybody in the house had been asleep since the evening. Some slept on the charpoy, some on the wooden settee, some on the floor; one slept wherever one found space. Only Maani was taking care of the house, and Gokul was sitting in his room upstairs and reading the newspaper.
Suddenly, Gokul called out, ‘Maani, get me a glass of cold water, please, I am very thirsty.’
Maani went upstairs with a glass of water and was about to leave after keeping it on the table when Gokul said, ‘Just a minute, Maani, I have something to say to you.’
Maani replied, ‘I have no time to talk, brother. The entire household is fast asleep. An intruder could sweep the whole house clean.’
Gokul said, ‘Let them now. If I were you, I would join the thieves and help them steal. I am going to see Indranath just now. I have promised to see him today. Answer me quickly and please do not hesitate. He will get restless if I delay. Indranath loves you—do you know that?’
Maani turned her face away and said, ‘Is that why you have called me here? I do not know anything.’
Gokul said, ‘This only he knows or you know. He wants to marry you according to Vedic rites. Do you agree to the match?’
Maani looked down shyly. She could not answer.
Gokul reiterated, ‘Dada and Amma have not been told, you know the reason why. They’d rather kill you through constant threats or burn you bit by bit than give you permission to marry. It would humiliate them. Now the decision rests with you. I think you should accept the proposal. Indranath certainly loves you and he is a man of flawless character and immense daring. He is totally fearless. I will be truly delighted to see you happy in life.’
Maani was overwhelmed but still could not utter a word.
Gokul was irritated now. ‘Look, Maani, this is not the time to be quiet, what are you thinking?’
Maani said in a quivering voice, ‘Yes.’
Gokul felt light-hearted and smiled. Maani ran away, embarrassed.5
In the evening Gokul told his mother, ‘Amma, there is a celebration in Indranath’s house today. His mother is worried about coping with the housework alone. I said that I would send Maani to help out. With your permission, I will drop Maani there. She will return in a day or two.’
Maani appeared at that moment. Gokul cast a sideways glance at her. Maani almost froze in embarrassment. She could not find an escape route.
His mother said, ‘Why do you ask for my permission? Take her if she is willing to go.’
Gokul said, ‘Go, get ready. You have to go to Indranath’s house.’
Maani objected, ‘I am not feeling well. I will not go.’
Gokul’s mother said, ‘Why don’t you go? You will not have to dig a well there.’
Maani sat in the tonga in her white sari. Her heart was pounding and her eyes overflowed with tears. Her heart was sinking for some reason, as if she was going to drown herself in the river.
When the tonga had travelled a little distance, she told Gokul, ‘Brother, I am feeling nervous, let’s go back, I beseech you.’
Gokul said, ‘You are crazy.
