Vanshidhar went to the room, lit the lamp and started reading the letter. The letter was from Maani.
Respected Chachaji,
Accept pranams from the unfortunate Maani.
I was very sorry to hear that Gokul Bhaiya has gone somewhere and his whereabouts are not known. I am the cause. This stigma was meant for me and it has stuck. I am sorry that you had to suffer so much because of me. But bhaiya will definitely come back—I am sure about it. I am leaving for Bombay by the nine o’clock train tonight. Please forgive me for the offences I have committed and convey my pranams to chachi. My only prayer to God is that Gokul Bhaiya returns in good health. God willing I will visit you and pay my respects to you at bhaiya’s wedding.
Vanshidhar tore the letter to pieces. He realized it was eight o’clock. Immediately, he changed his clothes, hired an ekka from the road and left for the station.8
The Bombay Mail was waiting on the platform. There was a commotion among the passengers. The noisy call of the hawkers drowned out all other sounds. The train was about to leave. Maani and her mother-in-law were sitting in the ladies’ compartment. Moist-eyed, Maani was looking out into the distance. Past memories, however unpleasant, can have a tinge of sweetness. Maani was remembering her earlier days of suffering and feeling happy that they were over. Who knows when she would meet Gokul again! If only chachaji had come she would have had a chance to pay her respects. True, he had scolded her sometimes but it was always for her welfare. But he would not come. The train was about to leave. How could he come anyway? It would create a commotion in society. God willing I shall see him when I come here next.
Suddenly, she saw Vanshidhar approaching the train. She stepped out of the train and moved towards him. She was about to fall at his feet when he stepped back. Casting a wrathful glance at her, he said, ‘Don’t touch me, stay away, you . . . the unfortunate one. How dare you write to me after blackening your face! Why don’t you die! You have ruined my clan. Till today we do not know where Gokul is. Because of you he left home and here you are still sitting on my chest, torturing me deliberately. Is there no water left in the Ganges for you to drown in? Had I realized that you were so unchaste and disloyal, I would have strangled you the very first day. Now you are trying to demonstrate your devotion to me! Sinners like you are better dead than alive. That would lighten the burden on this earth.’
A crowd of hundreds had gathered on the platform. Vanshidhar was hurling abuses at her mercilessly. No one understood what the matter was. But in their hearts all of them were condemning Vanshidhar.
Maani stood frozen like a statue. Her entire dignity lay shattered. She wished the earth would burst open and swallow her, that someone would strike her with a thunderbolt and put an end to her insignificant life! She had lost face in front of so many people. Not a drop of a tear fell from her eyes, for there were no tears left in her heart. There was a kind of burning forest fire instead which was fast engulfing her mind. Whose life could be more depraved than hers in this world?
Her mother-in-law called out, ‘Bahu, get into the train.’9
As the train moved, her mother-in-law said, ‘I have never seen such a shameless person in my whole life. I am so enraged I wish I could have scratched his face.’
Maani did not raise her head.
Her mother-in-law said again, ‘God knows when these wretched people will come to their senses, now it is almost time for them to die. Somebody should ask him—what can we do if his son has run away! Why would this calamity befall him if he were not such a sinner?’
Maani once again did not open her mouth. Perhaps she was unable to hear anything. Perhaps she was not even aware of her existence. She was fixedly gazing at the window—what was she perceiving in the dark?
The train arrived at Kanpur. Her mother-in-law said, ‘Will you eat something, beti? Come, eat some sweets. It is past ten.’
Maani said, ‘I am not hungry now, Amma. I will eat later.’
Her mother-in-law went to sleep. Maani also lay down but her uncle’s face loomed large in front of her eyes and his words rang in her ears. ‘Alas,’ she moaned. ‘I am so depraved, so low that the earth will be less burdened if I die.’ She recalled Vanshidhar’s words—Don’t show your face again if you are your parents’ daughter. I would not. If a face has been branded by slander, one does not feel like showing it to anyone.
The train moved on, piercing the heart of darkness. Maani opened her trunk and put away her ornaments. Then she took out Indranath’s photograph and looked at it for a long time. Her eyes shone with a glint of pride. She put the photograph aside and said to herself, ‘No, no, I cannot blot your life. You are godlike, you have taken pity on me. I am atoning for the sins of my past. You picked me up and pressed me close to your heart and I will not taint you. You love me and you will tolerate disrespect, insult and slander for me, but I will not be a burden on your life.’
The train chugged on. Maani kept gazing at the stars till they disappeared. She saw her mother’s face in the dark so bright, so vivid that she closed her eyes with a start. Then she looked inside the compartment to see her mother-in-law sleeping.10
God knows how much of the night had passed. Maani’s mother-in-law woke up at
