The Complete Short Stories

had grown so used to his monthly salary, it had become such a natural procedure for him to receive a fixed amount on a fixed day that now he found it very hard to settle accounts in the middle of the month, particularly when he already felt short of money. There was no choice but to take money out from the bank to settle the accounts. Earlier, he used to give some extra amount, according to his means, but today, past and present obligations added up to such a sum as if a heap of dirt had turned up below a clean carpet. He had never noticed before how deep in debt he was. His bank account was reduced menacingly. He made up his mind to have some furniture and other household items auctioned off. Now he would not need them anyway. The public auction started the next day and things began to disappear one by one. Hari Bilas was sitting on the veranda with a heavy heart watching the devastation of his household. Many things had been with him for a very long time. To see them go away now was very hard, but the worst came when his horse and his phaeton were auctioned. He could not bear to watch this scene. When he entered the house his eyes were wet with tears. Sumitra tried to comfort him, ‘You should not take it to heart so much. There is no need to be sad. You should rather be happy that you are relieved from work which went against your dharma. Now nobody can force you to coerce others. This is not the only way to earn a living. When God has created us He will also provide our food. If you had tyrannized your own brothers then would this sin not have fallen back on your own offspring? God intended for you to do some good, only then did this idea enter your mind.’

Hari Bilas was somewhat pacified by these words. At first Sumitra had not approved of his resignation, but the desire to see her husband’s inner turmoil come to an end had compelled her to submit to his decision.

Hari Bilas looked at Sumitra admiringly and said, ‘Do you know how much hardship we will have to endure?’

She replied, ‘So what? For his dharma a person can endure all hardships and not even care about his life. Finally we will also have to face God. If He asked you why you have killed your atma for the sake of worldly comfort then what would you answer?’

Hari Bilas said, ‘What shall I say? I don’t possess such a pure belief. Materialistic education has turned me into a slave of selfishness and greed. I don’t believe in God any more. Although I resigned for these very reasons, I don’t feel this living faith in me; I have become an unbeliever. I still don’t have any idea of how we will live in the future. Had Shiv Bilas continued his studies for one more year he would have supported himself. Sant Bilas will need our assistance for three more years at least, and poor Sri Bilas is still far behind. Now the three of them are left with nothing. I don’t know what they will think.’

Sumitra said, ‘If God has given them any understanding, they will no longer regard you as their dear father but as a deity!’

It was night. Shiv Bilas and his younger brothers were discussing these very matters.

Shiv Bilas remarked, ‘Looking at father’s present situation I have decided not to marry. Several times I felt like going to him to give him solace, but I feel like crying when I think of facing him. After all, it is us he is worried about, otherwise what would be there to think of. If he wants, he can take employment in any college with his sound knowledge of philosophy and economics.’

Sant Bilas said, ‘There was no need for you to leave college. Medicine was a good field. You could have worked from home. You didn’t even ask father. He will be very sad to hear about it.’

‘That is the very reason I haven’t told him so far. However good the vocation, I do not want to make it my source of income. I will stick to what I have decided. Why, are you going to help me?’

‘I will hardly be able to help you before I finish my MA. For this year you better excuse me. Later I will definitely give you my time.’

‘Are you so eager on an MA?’

Sri Bilas said with some mischief in his voice: ‘MA means . . . of . . .’

Sant Bilas said, ‘This has been my wish for ages, and having come so close to my goal now I don’t want to draw back.’

Shiv Bilas added, ‘After that there will be the prescribed term of LLB, and then you will set up a sign in big letters and start to brag in front of your clients.’

Sant Bilas remarked, ‘You are speaking with so much contempt as if doing so would be a shame. I admit that I have this ambition, and I don’t think that I deserve to be despised for it. I don’t feel any love for the legal profession. It is possible that I may be forced to practise law out of necessity, but the degree I love without any doubt. Today a person’s dignity depends on his degrees. You will hardly have met anybody who out of his own free will has forsaken his official degrees. Even those who pose as champions of education do not feel it beneath themselves to attach the signs of their big degrees to their names. In national schools and colleges, too, those gentlemen are valued most who have degrees from England. This is the standard of our values. So then why should I restrain myself? Don’t take it otherwise, but in the first weeks of the newspaper you will most probably also print