‘What do you mean, Alan?’ she asked.
‘I mean that if you were going to fall in love with me there would have been some sign of it by now,’ he sighed again. ‘But there hasn’t been. I’m just wasting my time with you.’
She gently kissed his hand where he touched her. ‘I like you tremendously, Alan, you know that.’
He took her roughly by the shoulders, shaking her slightly. ‘It isn’t enough, Kate. Liking me isn’t enough!’
‘But what can I do about it? What do you want me to do about it?’
‘There’s nothing you can do. It’s that other man, of course. You’re in love with him,’ he scowled.
Kate moved out of his grasp to stand up, her hands kneading together nervously. ‘What other man?’ she evaded.
‘Damien Savage,’ he said harshly.
She gave a light choking laugh. ‘You’re being ridiculous! I don’t love—’
‘Yes, you do! I saw your reaction to him at that party, saw the way he looked at you too. How long did you go out with him?’
‘I’ve only ever been out with him the once.’ But she had seen him so many other times, and each time her love for him deepened.
It seemed her decision that she wasn’t being fair to Alan was being taken out of her hands. From the way he was talking she had the feeling he was going to finish with her, not the other way round. But perhaps it was as well it should happen this way.
‘That once was enough for you to fall for him.’
‘Maybe you’re right,’ she admitted gently.
‘I know I am.’
She looked at him with anguished eyes. ‘But that doesn’t stop me liking you! And we—we’ve had fun together, haven’t we?’
‘Yes, but now that has to stop. I have to be honest with you and say it isn’t only because of Savage that I don’t think we should meet again.’ He looked embarrassed, his blue eyes troubled. ‘I—I’ve been meeting someone else.’
‘I see.’
‘She’s someone I met at work,’ he explained hurriedly. ‘I’ve taken her out a couple of times during the last few weeks. Sue’s more my type, Kate. I don’t fit in with the theatrical crowd you mix with.’
‘But mat’s the reason why I—’
‘Why you first started going out with me,’ he finished for her. ‘I know that, I’ve always known it. And I suppose at first I was attracted to the glamour surrounding you. You’re really something special, I hope you know that. I still liked you even when I got past the glamour, and as I said, given the right encouragement I could so easily have fallen in love with you.’
‘But I didn’t give the right encouragement?’
‘I was quite hopeful until I met Damien Savage, but after that I knew I didn’t stand a chance. I’ve just been kidding myself all these weeks.’
Kate cleared her throat; she was going to miss Alan in her life. ‘And Sue, what’s she like?’
The gentle smile he gave told her just how fond of the other girl he really was—and the fact that she felt no pain at this knowledge just confirmed how little her own affections had been involved.
‘She’s small, with glossy black hair and laughing brown eyes. She’s just an ordinary girl, I suppose,’ he shrugged.
She gave him a soft smile. ‘I’m glad for you, Alan, really glad.’
‘We aren’t getting serious or anything like that,’ he went on. ‘It’s much too early to know our feeling for each other yet. But I—I thought I should tell you the truth.’
‘Thank you.’ She reached up to kiss him lightly on the lips. ‘It was very nice of you to come over and tell me.’
‘Yes, well, I—I suppose I’d better be going.’
She burst into tears once he had left, more because she suddenly felt so lonely than because she had been upset about their parting. She was upset, but the outcome had always been inevitable. If she had been going to get over these feelings she had for Damien she would have done so by now, and it just wasn’t right to use another man as a shield against these feelings.
It was still so early, only nine-thirty, what could she do to pass the time? It was much too early to go to bed and yet too late to go out again. In the end she decided to wash her hair, have a long leisurely bath, and give her nails a manicure. Not that there was much left of her nails, the typing she did at college had effectively broken most of them. But it was something to do, something to take her mind off being lonely.
Eleven o’clock saw her firmly tucked up in bed, tired of attempting to read and trying very hard to fall asleep instead. She wasn’t doing a very good job of that either, and she struggled thankfully out of bed as she heard the insistent ringing of the doorbell. Josie had probably forgotten her key again. She was a lovely girl and a true friend, but she did have the most shocking memory.
Kate hurried out of her bedroom, eager to answer the door before Josie gave up, thinking that she herself wasn’t home yet. She released the lock on the door and moved back quickly as it slammed back with a loud thud.
Swaying slightly in the doorway, his eyes grim and red-rimmed, stood Damien Savage. He had a wild look in his eyes and as he pushed past her Kate was distressed to realise he had been drinking—and heavily, by the look of him. He reeked of whisky, and she followed him nervously as he strolled uninvited into the lounge. He had made no move to close the door after his unwanted entrance, so Kate closed it with a slam before hurrying after him.
He swung round to look at her, his smart appearance of earlier much less immaculate now. His shirt was almost fully unbuttoned,
