“I haven’t had sex with a woman in two years,” he told Lilly.
Her eyes flared wide. “You mean…you mean…” She gulped. “You’re bi?”
“No.” He sucked in a breath through his nose. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m hetero, though. One hundred percent.”
“A celibate straight guy,” Lilly marveled, as if he was a novelty she could hardly fathom. “And you have all your hair, your teeth, and you don’t smell half-bad either.”
She didn’t believe him, he thought, which was proved by what she said next.
“Next you’re going to tell me that Santa Claus comes down chimneys in December and a bunny brings candy at Easter.”
Alec frowned. Yes, the woman needed more magic in her life.
“What about unicorns? I’ve always wanted to think they’re real.”
This wasn’t going the way he planned, he thought, shoving a hand through his hair. Though, Christ, when it came to Lilly, none of his plans seemed to go smoothly.
“Lilly…” He glanced around, noting the sole, low-slung cushioned chair in the living area, then took her by the shoulders and guided her to the alcove containing the bed.
Only a low light illuminated the space and he thought she might protest, but then she obediently dropped to the edge of the mattress. Her fingers laced in her lap and she looked up at him warily.
He stared into her inky-blue eyes.
What he was about to tell her would change everything between them. First, they’d had a harmless, fun flirtation. Then, once the wedding didn’t happen, he’d had to charm her out of her inherent mistrust of him. But when he told her the truth, those big eyes of hers would go bigger and he’d see the pity in them that he’d come to despise.
It had gotten him plenty of fucking partners five years ago, but three years of that shit and he’d started to feel like he was carelessly, crassly cashing in on a family tragedy. Instead of the act being an escape from the pain, it had become salt in the wound.
He’d begun to wonder if he’d ever be able to have sex again—that didn’t involve his own fist, anyway.
Until Lilly. Upon setting his eyes on her, he’d been ready, willing, eager to take her to bed with not the slightest sense of discomfort attached.
But now that he was going to tell her what happened, she’d be like all the others, her mask of sympathy only serving to turn him arctic inside.
“Alec…” She whispered his name, obviously picking up on his new mood.
Yes, the telling was going to change everything between them, he thought, resigned to it. She’d get that sorrowful look on her face, the same one they all did. It would kill the sexual buzz and that would be a damn disappointment.
“I need to tell you something,” he said, still resolved. “Something about my family.”
She froze, wariness stamped on her features. He sucked in a breath, stalling, despite knowing it was right to share with her the Thatcher tragedy. Because his instincts were clamoring at him again.
They warned him that there could be serious implications beyond the expected flash-freeze of his libido. Much more serious. Lilly Durand, with her cautious heart and exotic eyes, just might see beyond the wretched details of the story to the great rents left behind in Alec’s soul.
Chapter 7
A tremor of distinct unease ran through Lilly as she gazed up at Alec. She clasped her fingers together more tightly, aware of the alarm bells clanging in her head. Her childhood had honed her self-protective instincts. She knew when to hide and when to duck. Now…time to definitely dodge whatever was incoming, she thought.
Jumping to her feet, she shifted her gaze to the door, intent on avoiding the missile of some unpleasant truth he seemed determined to fling at her.
“I should go,” she said, taking a step forward.
He moved to block her escape. “Now?”
Right now.
“I’m sure Audra needs me…” She let that trail off because they both knew that for Audra to need Lilly, Lilly needed to be able to get through to her friend, something that had remained stubbornly out of reach since their arrival.
“I shouldn’t have said what I said to Jessie when we were in the lobby.” Alec forked his fingers through his hair, obviously unsettled. “The fact is, you’re not a stranger.”
“We don’t know each other at all,” Lilly hastened to contradict him.
He winged a brow her way.
A heat flushed over her face as she thought of how she’d been sprawled over his lap earlier in the evening. Of the deep kisses and the unforgettable climax he’d given her. “That’s just a physical thing,” she mumbled, her gaze dropping to her toes. “You know that. You’ve said it yourself.”
“Still, my parents have taken a shine to you. It’s only fair for you to understand the entire picture since you’re bound to run into them again this week.”
“I can make sure that doesn’t happen,” she offered. “I can hole up in our bungalow. I’ll never venture onto the resort grounds again.” Then she bit her lip. “Um…after I take a turn walking Buster tomorrow morning, that is. I ran into your mom on the way to yoga class today and that puppy’s just so darn cute…”
“You need to know this, Lilly.” One of his big hands urged her back to the bed and she found herself perching on the mattress again.
After a moment, he joined her, his gaze on the rug between his feet. Air blew out of his lungs, like he was preparing himself to lift some heavy weight.
Until now, she hadn’t allowed herself to imagine what he might impart. Again, she tamped down any urge to do so and put her hands to the mattress, preparing to push
