“I’ve spoken with them, but Mr. Patterson explained to me how delicate his wife is and what an emotional strain this would be for her.”
Delicate? Elise? Julia wanted to laugh hysterically.
“His condition will continue to deteriorate,” Rombauer continued. “His organs will fail. He will be bedridden for whatever time he has left. They feel even with help it would be more than they could deal with.”
“B-But what am I supposed to do with him?” The nightmare kept getting worse. Every option she imagined was unpleasant. “I cannot take him home.”
Oh, God. The thought of it made her dizzy.
“I had that feeling.” His understanding smile brought tears to her eyes. Deliberately she blinked them back. No crying now. “Under the circumstances I’m recommending he go directly into a nursing home from here.”
Nursing home? Of course. The best solution. The wave of relief washing over her shamed her. Yes, it was appropriate, Charles could be in a place where he could get the right kind of care.
“As his medical representative,” he went on, “it will be up to you to choose the place and make the arrangements.”
“Dr. Rombauer.” She swallowed hard, trying to ease the panic rushing up to consume her. More decisions. More challenges. All of which Charles would argue about. He resented his crippling condition almost as much as he resented her, and what he referred to as her “defection.” “Charles is alert now. I think he should remove my name from those documents and make his own decisions.”
Rombauer shrugged. “I spoke to him about it, but he was adamant it still be your responsibility.”
Punishment. He was going to continue to punish her. She wanted to laugh hysterically, because he didn’t even know what he was punishing her for.
“I have no idea where to start looking for one.”
“Not to worry. There are two or three excellent ones I can recommend. If you like, I can check with them, let you make the selection, and take care of the arrangements when the time comes.”
“Oh, please.” Relief surged up. “I’d appreciate it.” She took a sip of her tea. “Have you spoken to Charles about this?”
Rombauer frowned. “Yes, and I have to warn you, he’s not happy with the idea. I’ve tried to explain the necessity as best I can. Perhaps you can help with this.”
Not happy. She’d bet that was an understatement.
Discussing something with Charles he’d already closed his mind to was not her favorite activity. She rubbed her hands over her face, feeling drained.
“All right, I’ll do my best. Thank you, doctor.”
She excused herself and raced for the restroom as her stomach heaved its contents back up into her throat.
* * * *
“I will not be locked away in some medical prison like a drooling old man.” Charles glared at her as she walked into his room.
Julia forced herself not to react. “Hello, Charles. I’m glad to see you feeling a little better today.”
“I am not feeling better and I’m quite sure you’re not glad to see me.”
Julia sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Dr. Rombauer said he’d explained to you why you need to be someplace where skilled care is available twenty-four/seven.”
“I’m sure you’d be happy with that.” His bitterness was evident. “Out of sight, out of mind.”
“Charles.” She gritted her teeth. “All I want is to make sure you have the best care possible.”
“A comfortable place to die, right? How nice for all of you. Even my parents have explained how difficult it would be for them to have me at their home.”
For one brief moment, Julia felt a stab of pity for the man nobody wanted. But then she steeled herself. She was losing herself again, and she needed to hang on to whatever shreds were left.
She dredged up every scrap of patience, but it was like trying to dam a tidal wave. The entire time she was there Charles drowned her with his self-pity. Her nausea was worse than ever and Charles wrinkled his nose in disgust whenever she raced for the bathroom. Whatever bug she’d picked up wasn’t going away. She’d probably have to make time to see a doctor.
Sitting in a chair by the bed, even for short periods of time, wasn’t doing her body any good, either. These days it didn’t seem as if it belonged to her, with its variety of protesting twinges and soreness. She was angry at herself for this physical weakness at a time when she needed to be at her strongest, but her body seemed to have a mind and will of its own.
The morning stretched interminably. The discussion of the nursing home options only precipitated Charles’s worst explosion yet. The outburst caused his machines to beep and ding, nurses to rush in, and medication to be administered. When he dropped off to a sedative-induced sleep, Julia left to go home. Tonight she would make a telephone call requiring every bit of her staying power. She’d have to draw Howard and Elise into the nursing home debacle. She dreaded that conversation but maybe Charles would listen to them.
* * * *
Luke replaced the handset on his telephone and sat back in his desk chair, watching Mother Nature dump her latest deluge of snow outside his window. The flakes fell so fast they resembled a white curtain hanging from the sky. The atmosphere was dull grey, matching his mood.
Four weeks since he’d left Julia at the airport and the best he’d been able to accomplish was conversations with Claire. Much as he tried to push thoughts of her aside, she was a constant resident in his mind. How was she doing? How was she handling things? Most importantly, what did the future hold for her? For them?
He regretted more than anything the unfinished feeling they’d parted with. Foolishly, he’d assumed they would have plenty of time to explore a future together, to see if one was even possible. To see if the blossoming love was real. Would the obligations that weighted them down be an
