He could almost taste that kiss now, thinking about it. So many years, so much misery since he’d left her at the airport that snowy day. He’d called and called to talk to her, but she never took his calls and never returned them. Claire was always his lifeline, keeping him informed. But even she couldn’t tell him why Julia wouldn’t at least speak to him or what was happening that was so wrong.
He’d known there was something, just by her tone of voice. But it was hard to fight what he didn’t know. For one impulsive moment, he’d been tempted to get on a plane, fly to San Antonio, and confront Julia; but he was afraid he’d only worsen whatever the hell was going on.
He’d have certainly understood if Charles’s heart attack had created problems for her. He was, after all, still the father of her children. Jealousy stabbed at him. He wanted to be the father of her children, but the opportunity for that was long past. Now he’d settle for just being her husband. That is, if he could ever get her to realize what they had went far beyond the little time they’d spent together. If he could just get her to talk to him. One minute this morning she’d been fine, then an invisible door had suddenly closed.
Yesterday he’d sensed an ally in Claire. He’d have to explore that possibility. He’d have to do something because Julia was well and truly spooked. Feeling despair settle over him, he turned and opened the folder for his meeting.
* * * *
Julia managed to avoid the confrontation with Claire for the moment by pleading a headache at the end of the day. And that was no cheap lie. But she knew her friend wouldn’t be put off much longer.
She’d come home from the office, made a pretense of eating with Courtney, then gone to her room, put on her favorite robe, and lay down on the bed. She needed to think but her head still hurt from the day’s tension.
“Mom?” There was a soft tap on the bedroom door.
“Yes?” Julia roused herself.
“Hi.” The door swung open and Beth hurried over to hug her. “Are you okay? I called earlier and Miranda said you didn’t seem yourself. I thought I’d stop by and check it out for myself.” She looked at her mother carefully, searching for telltale signs of whatever was wrong.
“I’m fine, sweetie. Truly. But I’m glad you came over. You know I always love seeing you.”
“You don’t look so fine.” Beth eyed her mother critically. “Are you coming down with something? You don’t take half enough care of yourself.”
She took one of Beth’s hands in both of hers. “I’m fine. Truly.”
Beth narrowed her eyes. “Is it Courtney?” She smiled, flashing a dimple. “Do I need to take her over my knee again?”
“Courtney is still…Courtney. But at least thanks to you she’s dressing better and doesn’t look like she’s wearing an entire makeup counter when she goes out.” She shook her head. “Where do thirteen-year-old girls get their ideas, anyway? You were never like that.”
Beth laughed. “I was the perfect child, remember?” She hugged Julia. “I’m calling you Monday. If I don’t like the way you sound, I’m taking you out to dinner for some Mom therapy.”
Monday was apparently the day everyone was going to call her.
“Mom?” Beth’s voice held an edge of concern. “What’s wrong? You just turned white as a sheet. Okay. That does it. Monday for sure I’m calling the doctor and making an appointment for you.”
“No, don’t. Please.” Julia let out a long, slow breath. “I’m fine. Just tired. You’re right. I need to eat better and get more sleep.” She forced a smile. “And I promise to do that.”
“You know, Mom, it wouldn’t kill you to go out on a date now and then.”
“Date?” She wanted to laugh hysterically. “Honey, I’m doing just fine. I have the business and Claire and you guys.”
Beth frowned. “But—”
Julia reached out her fingers and pressed them to Beth’s lips. “It’s okay, baby. I’m fine. I’ll do a better job of eating and sleeping. I promise.”
If only, she thought, everything else was that simple.
“Anyway, it’s Friday night.” She made herself dredge up a smile. “What are you doing at your mother’s on a Friday night? I can’t believe that’s what your social life is reduced to.”
Beth laughed. “Actually, I’m meeting some friends at La Marguerita but not until much later. They went to a movie first but I’d already seen it.” She hugged her mother. “I’m going now, but I’m keeping my eye on you.”
Julia could only hope her daughter wouldn’t be looking too closely.
Chapter 19
The weekend dragged endlessly. Julia’s sleep was disturbed by dreams of Luke, erotic dreams that left her waking in a sweat, panting, her arousal wetting her thighs and her breasts aching for the touch of his hands or his mouth. But the sexual haze was later disrupted by one argument after another with Courtney. Saturday morning she was at her best. Or worst.
“Why can’t I go to the party?” The teenager faced her in the kitchen, irritation sparking from her.
“We’ve been over this.” Julia did her best to keep her voice level and calm, even as her stomach cramped and acid burned through her. “Those kids are older than you are and not the right group for you to be hanging out with. Anyway, you’re just a novelty to them.”
“They like me,” Courtney insisted. “They wouldn’t ask me if they didn’t.” She clenched her hands into fists. “Don’t you think people can like me?”
“Courtney.” Julia stretched out a hand to her daughter, only to have the girl turn away from her. “Of course I think people can like you. I know they do, as a matter of
