“Oh, girl! We thought we lost you. Don’t you ever do that to us again. Keith told us about your memory, so I’m Maurice, and this hot stud is Stuart. He’s mine, so don’t go getting any ideas.” He laughed at his joke, winking at me, and I couldn’t help smiling back. His excitement was infectious, even if I couldn’t place him. “We met you here on the ship, and just adore you. Your memory will come back, honey, I just know it. Do you have any memories at all?” He held me at arm’s length, tears filling his eyes as I answered.
“Nope, sorry. I get bits and pieces, but mostly it’s all a blank.” I shrugged, feigning a nonchalance I didn’t feel and smiled at him reassuringly. His eyes threatened to spill over as he pulled me into another hug.
“Well now, don’t you worry about anything, it’ll come back, if only so you can tell me all about what happened. Almost lost at sea! Stuart, I do believe this has been the most exciting vacation we’ve ever had. Couldn’t you just die?” Stuart grabbed him by the waist giving me a tight-lipped smile.
“Sorry, he just gets a little excited. We are both very glad that you are safe.” He gave me a small hug and I caught a whiff of his deep, earthy smell. It was the same scent covering Maurice’s, but much stronger.
My stomach growled and I laughed. We made our way to the buffet to fill our plates. Maurice thought Keith was brilliant to have thought about the buffet to help jog some memories for me and decided he’d try everything along with me. We were lucky to have gotten the big table as we had two of everything the buffet held, plus food for Stuart and Keith.
I had an absolute blast eating a bit of everything with Maurice. He about fell out of his chair laughing at me when I attempted to eat seafood; the expression of disgust on my face was too much for him. Stuart and Keith kept to themselves mostly; joining in on some of the laughter, but mostly just watching us like parents watch their unruly children. We ate, laughed, and drank until the sun started to color the horizon. I was enjoying myself but couldn’t suppress the urge to go up on deck to watch the sunset on the water.
I excused myself from the group, wanting nothing more than to be alone. I made my way to the pool and sat on one of the seats along the deck. The sunset was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the last sunset that I’d seen. I felt the memory tug at my subconscious and rather than struggle for it, I tried to relax and let it come back on its own.
The clouds couldn’t hide the luminescent sphere protecting us from the miles of ocean water that pressed against it. The flickers of light twinkled as the bioluminescent fish moved above. It looked like strangely shaped fireflies dancing above our heads. Only, there were dozens of them, and some were larger than any fish I’d ever seen in person. The sphere was illuminated to the west, mimicking the sunset I knew couldn’t really appear this far below the ocean’s surface. I could feel strong arms encircling me, making me feel tiny, protected, and deeply loved. The body behind me trembled, in desire or despair. I turned to hold him close to me. I glimpsed his face and remembered everything about him. Raif. My soul’s mate, my other half, the piece of myself I wasn’t certain I’d ever see again.
I sat up rigidly in my seat, pale and trembling. I remembered. Everything. I finally understood the grief I could still feel flooding through me, breaking my heart continuously. I now knew why I couldn’t cry, although I desperately needed to at this moment. I felt arms start to tentatively slide around my waist and for one glorious moment I thought Raif was here. I leaned into the embrace, turning to reciprocate and gasped.
“No!” I breathed out a pain filled denial in Keith’s face, pushing him away from me. I knew my expression was one of crushed sorrow and felt bad knowing that he’d misunderstand the depth of my negative response. I watched in agony as he battled with the rejection. He failed miserably, crumbling into helpless tears on one of the seats.
“Keith, I’m so sorry.” I dropped to his side, silently stroking his back. I didn’t know what else to say to him. Anything I could think of would just hurt him further and I didn’t want to do that after everything he’d done for me. I felt like a horrible person. He was mumbling something I could barely understand. “What do you need? Can I get or do anything for you? God, I’m so sorry.”
“Leave. Please just leave,” he whispered between his tears. I left, but didn’t go too far. Perhaps it was better this way. He’d be able to forget about me and find his mate, as he should. I was grateful to have my memory back, but I wasn’t quite sure what to do now. I couldn’t very well go back home with Keith when I was married to another man. I shuddered to think of what would’ve eventually happened if I’d been unable to retrieve my memories. I just wished someone would tell me what was
