“Dude!” says Craig “the Craigster” Jones. “I can’t believe you threw a squid in his face! That was awesome!”
“We were dissecting a rat.”
“I can’t believe you threw the rat in his face! That was awesome!”
“Thanks.”
• • •
Blake is waiting next to my car when I walk through the student parking lot. Stuffing him into the trunk will only make my problems worse, so I unlock the door. We get in.
“How was your day?” he asks as I start the engine.
“It was quite bad.”
“Sorry to hear it. This is a decent enough school. The building itself could use a little more upkeep. But the kids are nice, and the teachers seem educated.”
I say nothing as I pull out of the parking lot and onto the street.
“Sorry about our misunderstanding in biology class,” says Blake.
“How was that in any way a misunderstanding?”
“Because I don’t understand why you did it.”
“Did what?”
“You know what you did. I think there’s still a piece of sinew between my teeth.”
“First of all, sinew comes from tendons or ligaments. You didn’t get hit in the face with any sinew, and if you did, you didn’t get hit with it at a high enough velocity for it to get stuck between your teeth. So your story is falling apart.”
“I’m not good at biology. Also, I had a candy bar later, so it could be nougat. Doesn’t taste like nougat, but what does nougat even taste like?”
I’m infuriated all over again. And I want answers. “Why’d you do it?”
“Because I was startled. Trust me—I didn’t want to get you in trouble. But when something like that happens, I don’t care how dignified you are, you’re going to yelp.”
“I didn’t throw anything at you.”
“Then who did?”
“You did!”
“Doesn’t sound like something I would do.”
“Are you kidding me? Are you really sticking to your ridiculous story even though we’re the only two people in the car?”
“I’m a warrior for the truth,” says Blake.
“Okay, I get what’s happening.” I dig out my cell phone and hand it to him. “I’m not recording this. You can confirm it. You won’t be incriminating yourself, so you can drop the act.”
He hands me my cell phone without looking at it. “There’s no act. You treated me less like a cousin and more like a clown at a dunk tank. I trusted you to make my first day at a new school a comfortable experience, and instead you humiliated me in front of everybody. You know what they call me now? Rat Gut Face. Even Mr. Gy calls me that.”
“Mr. Gy does not call you Rat Gut Face.”
“He thinks it.”
“Nobody calls you that. And if they did, it’s actually kind of a cool nickname, but they don’t, so it doesn’t matter. I don’t know why you’re trying to ruin my life, but I’d appreciate it if you’d stop.”
“You can lie to me, Rod, but you can’t lie to yourself. When you look into the mirror, you’ll know who did it.”
“Yes, I’ll see you standing behind me in the mirror because you’re hogging half of my room!”
“Is that why you attacked me? You’re still upset about your room? I can sleep out in the shed if that’s what you want.”
“We don’t have a shed.”
“Should we build one together? It could be a bonding experience.”
“Look,” I say, “I don’t know what kind of demented game you’re playing, but it needs to stop. I’m on to you, and you won’t get away with this kind of stuff again. I’d advise you to go to school, study hard, keep your head down, and stop trying to ruin my life.”
“Why would I want to ruin your life, Rod?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you don’t know, perhaps it’s because there’s no reason.”
“Maybe you’re a deeply miserable person. Maybe you hate your life in California. Maybe you can’t stand to see me being happy.”
“You’re poor. Your dad left you. Your band hasn’t had any real success. Your friends only use you for your garage. What do have you to be happy about?”
I’ll be honest. If there was a tray of rat innards on the dashboard, I’d fling it at him.
“Being poor has nothing to do with my happiness,” I say. “Some of us don’t need to pay people to cater to our every whim. Don’t talk about my dad. I don’t expect my band to be a superstar success because we’re in high school. And my friends do not use me for my garage.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“I don’t even have the best garage.”
“Then why do you practice there?”
“Because my mom usually isn’t home.”
“So they only use you for your mom’s absence.”
“Your mind games aren’t going to work on me. You’ve picked the wrong opponent,” I inform him. “I may seem lovable, but I will destroy you if you don’t back off.”
“Why are you so hostile? I accepted your apology.”
“I mean it, Blake. You think you’re some master manipulator, but you’re wrong. This is over.”
“If I was trying to manipulate you, which I’m not, I’m just getting started.”
“I’ve given you your final warning. Knock it off. We’re done talking.”
“All right,” says Blake. “I think this was a very illuminating conversation.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing your band tonight,” he says.
“No, you can’t come.”
“I want to see how the audience responds to the way I revamped your sound.”
“You didn’t revamp anything. All you did was…no, I’m done. I don’t expect to see you anywhere near the Lane tonight. If I find you within a mile of the club, we’re going to have a problem.”
“Is your house within a mile of the club?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ll stay home then.”
15.
I'm not going to let Cousin Blake ruin my life.
I’m not going to let Cousin Blake ruin my life.
I’m not going to let Cousin Blake ruin my life.
I’m not going to let Cousin Blake ruin my life.
I’m not going to let Cousin Blake ruin my life.
I’m not going to repeat things in my mind
