No…
She wouldn’t dare…
My mouth blurts out the question before my brain has fully processed the implications. “Are you going out with Blake?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“My cousin Blake.”
“I knew which Blake you meant.”
“Is he your new boyfriend?”
“Did you really just ask me that?”
“Is that a no?”
“Do you seriously think I’d go out with Blake?”
“No, but I’d feel better if you denied it.”
“I’m not going out with Blake. I can’t believe you even asked me that. You’re losing your mind, Rod.” Audrey storms off.
Yes, I feel stupid for having asked, but at least she isn’t going out with Blake. I try the lock a few more times, decide that I’m not likely to get any homework done anyway, and give up.
I stumble a bit as I walk down the hallway toward the school exit. If I see anybody holding a grapefruit, I know I’ll totally lose it, but nobody has one, at least not that they show me. It’s possible that any citrus product could’ve set me off, so I’m glad we didn’t have to find out for sure.
I walk out to the parking lot, where Blake is waiting by my car. I’m done being surprised by his sheer nerve.
Mom was asleep when we got home, and I didn’t wake her up before I left for school, so she doesn’t know that Fanged Grapefruit is history. She’d texted me to ask how it went, and I texted back that it went Great! with a promise of I’ll tell you all about it tonight! Now I text her again:
Lots of practice to do. Can I stay over at Mel’s?
She texts back a moment later. On a school night?
We’ll study. I promise.
I wanted to hear about your show.
You will.
Blake will give spoilers!
He’ll be at Mel’s too. We’ve got a ton of stuff to work out. Please?
*sigh* Yes, but remember that school has to come before music.
Thanks, Mom!!!
I stick my cell phone back into my pocket as I reach the car. Blake gets into the passenger seat as if nothing’s wrong. “How was your day?” he asks.
“Unspeakably horrific, thanks for asking.”
He waits until I’ve driven away from school before speaking again. “You know I did you a favor, right?”
“Pretty sure you didn’t.”
“Mel and Clarissa were holding you back.”
“Yes, that’s why you planted seeds of doubt in my mind to freak me out. You wanted me to reach my full musical potential.”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yep.”
He sighs. “If you don’t want to recognize when people are doing you favors, that’s your right.”
“It sure is.”
“You missed the turn,” Blake points out.
“Hmm.”
Blake frowns. “You’re looking a little crazy-eyed, Rod. I’m no fan of driving, but maybe I should take over.”
“Request denied.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a magical surprise.”
“I’ve got homework.”
“Me too.”
“Are you going to kill me and dump my body somewhere?” Blake asks. He gives a nervous chuckle that indicates he was ninety-eight percent kidding, but he’s focused on the remaining two percent of doubt.
“Nope.”
“You sure?”
“Yep. Not gonna kill you.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m driving you back to California.”
26.
“No, you're not," says Blake.
“I sure as heck am.”
“Do you know how far it is from Florida to California?”
“I sure as heck do.”
“Twenty-five hundred miles.”
I nod. “Your calculation is correct.”
“That’s two thousand, five hundred miles.”
“Yep.”
“You really think you’re going to drive me back to California and then get back in time for school tomorrow?”
“No, Blake,” I say. “I do not believe that my car is capable of defying the laws of time and space.”
“So…”
“So?”
“So…what? We’re going on a three-day truancy road trip?”
“Now you’ve got it!”
“Aunt Connie will freak.”
“I told her we’re spending the night at Mel’s.”
“What are you going to do when school calls her tomorrow and says that we have unexcused absences?”
“I’ll figure it out then.”
“I don’t think you planned this very well,” says Blake.
“Maybe not.”
Blake reaches into his pocket. I push the switch to make the automatic window go down. When he pulls out his cell phone, I grab it out of his hand and fling it out of the car.
“Hey!” he shouts. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I can’t have you calling the police.”
“I wasn’t going to call the police! I was going to call your mom!”
“Can’t have that either.”
“You probably cracked the screen!”
“Then you shouldn’t have taken it out of your pocket when I was rolling down the window. What did you think I was going to do? Use your brain, Blake!”
“I didn’t think you’d destroy valuable property!”
“Then you miscalculated how angry I am. You said I had crazy eyes. Maybe in the future you’ll know not to take out your cell phone when a crazy-eyed driver is rolling down the window.”
“You’ve proven your point. Let’s go back and get it.”
“Nope.”
“I’m not riding all the way to California without any games.”
“We’ll play ‘I Spy with My Little Eyes’ if we get bored.”
“You’re paying for that phone.”
“Have your people send an invoice to my people.”
“C’mon, Rod, this is ridiculous. Are you seriously kidnapping me?”
“Depends on how you define kidnapping.”
“Driving me across the country against my will.”
“Oh, then yeah, I’m definitely kidnapping you. Totally.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“I’ll drop you off at your house, and you’ll stay there.”
“There are a million logic errors with that.”
“I agree,” I say. “Your problem is that you’re treating this like it was a carefully thought out scheme rather than me being spontaneous.”
“Very well. If I’m being kidnapped, I guess there’s nothing I can do.” He reclines the seat. “I’m taking a nap. Let me know when we get there.”
Blake closes his eyes.
A few minutes later I pull onto the highway.
A few minutes after that, Blake opens his eyes.
“Can’t sleep?” I ask.
“This joke has gone far enough,” he says.
“If it were a joke, I’d agree with you.”
“You could end up in jail.”
“You’ll visit me, right?”
“You’re going too fast.”
“I think I’m going
