“I suppose I won’t be seeing you again then.”
She shrugged, an easy, careless movement that belied the sharp pain daggering through her heart. Would she never see him again? After all the time they’d spent together, the secrets they shared, the emotional closeness? She swallowed hard.
“I am sure we will see each other at least once more.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dominic saw Henrietta sooner than she expected.
He scanned the room, tension resonating through his body, making his movements tight and quick as he moved past flowing couples, shimmering dresses and obsidian top hats. She was here. He had seen her earlier, talking with a countess whose name he had forgotten.
Thankfully he had not seen her with Hodges.
He threaded his way to the wall. Even at an evening soiree, the ton enjoyed dressing their best. He imagined Henrietta’s caramel tresses pulled up, a few curls languishing against her pale, smooth neck. Was she dancing the waltz with someone else?
The reason he was here, of course.
He had spent the night tossing and turning, annoyed at the thought of Hodges wooing her into marriage. He did not truly believe she could be wooed, but nevertheless, he did not sleep well.
There. In a corner surrounded by older people. Henrietta’s face was alight as she spoke, her hands moving with her mouth. She wore a pale green silk dress and her hair was just as he imagined it would be. Grinning, he strode over to join the group.
“Ah, St. Raven. Good to see you.” Lord Bruckley, an elderly acquaintance who sponsored a society for steam research, shook his hand. “Miss Gordon here has just been sharing some of the advances being made in medical schools on the Continent.”
“Fascinating.” He eyed her, noting the overly flushed cheeks, the bright eyes and perhaps a tiny line of strain about her mouth. Had her uncle refused her then? “There is a nice breeze on the balcony. Perhaps Miss Gordon is in need of air?”
Not his finest maneuver. It was abrupt and the surprised expressions of those in the circle showed it, but anything less direct and he was sure Henrietta wouldn’t pick up on it.
She nodded quickly. “Perhaps some punch. I’m feeling a tad peckish.”
They made their salutations and he led her to a balcony door. She slid her arm through his, reminding him of her small stature, of how frail she had looked when he first met her. It was no wonder her uncle wanted her safe in London. It was easy to forget her size when dealing with her personality.
They stepped onto the terrace, which was enclosed by a wrought-iron balcony that overlooked a garden filled with hanging lamps of varying colors. From this vantage point they could see guests wandering the shadowed pathways. No one looked up at them, and due to the positioning of the balcony, he felt alone with her.
He wasn’t alone, though. The ballroom was right behind them and her reputation would not suffer.
She pulled her arm from his and looked out over the gardens. “Will you be getting me a drink?”
“Stay here.” He went quickly to the punch table, the strangest feeling within that she would disappear while he was gone. That he would never see her again. And that just would not do.
Thankfully she was still on the balcony when he returned. His chest loosened a little. He handed her the punch, which she accepted with an almost smile.
She stared out at people below. It wasn’t quite dark, but there was a dusky quality to the air, combined with lamplight, and it put her profile in soft repose.
“I did not expect you here tonight.”
He leaned on the balcony rail. “You expected Mr. Hodges.”
She cut her gaze to him. “I came without him. I am not interested in him courting me, and have made it clear to him, but that is not pertinent.”
“It is to me.” He cleared his throat. “Did you speak to your uncle?”
“You are prying.”
“I care about you, Henrietta, and wish to see you happy.”
“As I already told you, happiness is not my goal. However, I shall be fulfilled when I travel to the Continent. I’ve been corresponding with the well-reputed physician who hired me. He’s finding a residence.”
“And this is what you want?”
“I wanted to help Uncle William.” Her eyes flashed at him. “It is unlike you to be so interested in plans that have no bearing on your own life.”
“Perhaps I wish them to.”
Her mouth tightened imperceptibly. “What are you saying?”
His pulled at his cravat. It had shrunk. “I have come to realize, in days past, that Louise and I truly miss your presence.”
“Is the other governess not adequate?”
How he longed to take her hands in his, to press them against his chest. But such a touch was unacceptable between them. He gripped the rail instead, fighting for self-control. “This is not about adequacy. Do you not see?”
“I’m flummoxed, my lord. You followed me out into the garden last night to insult my uncle, and now you are here saying...what? I do not follow.”
“You shall have a raise,” he said quickly. “Come back, be our governess and you will have more than enough money to practice and learn medicine.”
“You have already offered this to me,” she said quietly.
“Reconsider.” He hated that he sounded as if he was begging.
Her mouth pursed. She looked down at her punch, as though it held answers. His own breathing was shallow. He had not had a seizure for several weeks. He prayed another did not descend. Not now, not during this.
“Dominic, I...” She lifted her eyes, and in them he saw rare emotion.
“What are you afraid of?”
She shook her head. “It is not so simple. I do not desire to be a governess. To be isolated. Neither servantry nor peerage. A governess’s lot is a hard one, fraught with stigma and difficulty. It ends in poverty, very oftentimes.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen to
