She chewed her lip. “I will be careful. But I have to consider another danger, Vaughn, and weigh it against the threat Rich poses.” Her voice lowered as she spoke.
“I don’t follow.” He tipped his head closer to hear her. “What other danger could you possibly be worried about?”
“The emotional kind.” Her dark brown eyes locked on his for a long moment. “The danger of falling for you has become very real for me. I can’t take that lightly, and I can’t allow myself to forget that only a foolish woman would lose her heart to someone who has no intention of ever returning it.”
His gut sank. Or maybe it was his heart. He didn’t know. Couldn’t navigate his own emotions on the best of the days, and this was turning out to be far from his best day. His hand fell away from where he’d been touching her. He tipped his head back to glance up through the canopy of lights to see the night sky. Winking stars.
“Is that why you told my mother that we’ll never be more than just friends?” The last snippet of conversation he’d heard returned to chastise him.
Sucker punch him.
“It’s what you’ve been telling me from the very beginning.” She toyed with her keys, flipping one back and forth on the ring, a nervous movement. “I simply tried to be honest with your mom before she got excited seeing us as a couple.”
He deserved that kind of kick to the stomach. He’d set himself up for it, making sure Abigail knew he couldn’t play a bigger role in her life, but wanting more anyway.
“I would still call us more than friends.” When he thought about everything he’d shared with this incredible woman, he knew she was much more to him than a mere word like friend could ever express.
Her hand fisted around her keys, her jaw tensing. “Which is why you introduced me as the artist to your parents.” She straightened, taking a step back. “At least I labeled us friends as opposed to implying we were merely professionals who briefly worked in the same building.”
“That’s not fair.” His pulse quickened, and he sensed her pulling away. He wasn’t ready for that. Especially when he needed to keep her safe while Rich was still on the loose. “I purposely tried to keep the introductions light so I didn’t put you on the spot. We hadn’t talked about how to deal with situations like that. I didn’t want to make assumptions about what you would prefer, so I erred on the side of being less personal.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she met his gaze head-on, her expression serious.
“So you were protecting me.” She nodded. “I can accept that, and thank you for it even. But it doesn’t change the fact that my life is about to get very complicated. I can’t afford to have feelings for someone who isn’t ready to be a part of that.”
A shout went up from the dance floor as the band announced a popular line dance starting. Even in tuxedos and evening gowns, a group of partygoers responded to the call.
“A baby is not a complication.” His gaze dropped to the small swell of her pregnancy. He recalled the thought that crossed his mind when he’d introduced her to his parents. That he wished he could claim both Abigail and her child as his own. “You’re going to be an incredible mother.”
Her smile was shaky. Sad. “That doesn’t change the fact that you don’t want to be a part of this.”
“How can I be when I can barely sleep through the night on my own? I’m a grown man limping through life with the help of a dog. Working tirelessly because I feel my professional skills are all I have to offer anyone.”
Frowning, Abigail reached out to lay a hand on his chest. “That’s not true.”
“Every word of it is accurate.” He wouldn’t lie to her and he refused to lie to himself. “And it’s not that I don’t want to be a part of your life, Abigail. I just won’t be the dark cloud hanging over you when you’re ready for a vibrant, happy future.”
He thought about her artwork and the way people loved it because of her perspective. Part of that perspective was optimism. Joy. Her world was a place where fairies and forest creatures hid in the trees, waiting to be found. His world was a place that made him afraid to fall asleep.
“I can’t make you take a gamble on us if you’re not ready to.” Straightening, she let her hand fall away from where she’d touched him. “I had hoped you might attend the baby’s ultrasound appointment next week and be there when I find out the gender.” She caught her lip between her teeth. “But I understand you’re struggling with other things. And I don’t want to cause you more stress.”
“That’s...” He couldn’t even express how much that meant to him. That she’d wanted him there.
Too bad he’d already told her how much of a deficit he would be in her life.
“It’s all right.” She backed up a step. “You don’t have to explain. I’m going to head out now.”
He read between the lines.
Heard her saying goodbye to him loud and clear.
“I’m sorry, Abigail.”
“So am I, Vaughn. More than you know.”
Twelve
We want to be there with you.
On the morning of her ultrasound appointment, Abigail sat in the exam room in her cotton gown and reread the text Vaughn had sent her after the hospital summer gala. The text had a photo attached of him and Ruby. When she’d left the party that night—left him—her heart had felt like it was cracking in a thousand pieces. Spider cracks in every direction, like tempered glass before it falls apart.
And then his message had arrived, asking to be a part of this very big next step in her pregnancy. In her future.
The words made her smile now
