2 BARUCHIN, A., 1998: “WHY JEWISH GIRLS STARVE THEMSELVES.” LILITH, 23:5 (MAY 31).
3 BARUCHIN, A., 1998: “WHAT CAN ORTHODOX GIRLS CONTROL.” LILITH, 23:8 (SEPTEMBER 30).
4 IRA SACKER, UNPUBLISHED STUDY FROM 1996.
5 SAFIR, M. P., FLAISHER-KELLNER, S., & ROSENMANN, A. 2005: “WHEN GENDER DIFFERENCES SURPASS CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN PERSONAL SATISFACTION WITH BODY SHAPE IN ISRAELI COLLEGE STUDENTS.” SEX ROLES, 52, 369-378.
6 GLUCK, M. E. 1999: BODY IMAGE AND EATING DISTURBANCES: ORTHODOX VS. SECULAR JEWISH WOMEN (DOCTORAL DISSERTATION, YESHIVA UNIVERSITY, 1999). DISSERTATION ABSTRACTS INTERNATIONAL, 61, 1-73; GLUCK, M. E., & GELIEBTER, A. 2002: “RACIAL/ETHNIC DIFFERENCES IN BODY IMAGE AND EATING BEHAVIORS.” EATING BEHAVIORS, 3, 143-151.
7 GLUCK, M. E., & GELIEBTER, A. 2002: “RACIAL/ETHNIC DIFFERENCES IN BODY IMAGE AND EATING BEHAVIORS.” EATING BEHAVIORS, 3, 143-151.
8 KLEIN, J. W. 1976: “ETHNOTHERAPY WITH JEWS.” INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH, 5, 26-38; LANGMAN, P. F. 1997: “WHITE CULTURE, JEWISH CULTURE, AND THE ORIGINS OF PSYCHOTHERAPY.” PSYCHOTHERAPY: THEORY, RESEARCH, PRACTICE, TRAINING, 34, 207-218; YEUNG, P. P. & GREENWALD, S. 1992: “JEWISH AMERICANS AND MENTAL HEALTH: RESULTS OF THE NIMH EPIDEMIOLOGIC CATCHMENT AREA STUDY.” SOCIAL PSYCHIATRY AND PSYCHIATRIC EPIDEMIOLOGY, 27, 292-297.
9 KLEIN, J. W. 1977: JEWISH IDENTITY AND SELF-ESTEEM (DOCTORAL DISSERTATION, THE WRIGHT INSTITUTE). DISSERTATION ABSTRACTS INTERNATIONAL, 138, 906-907; SCHNEIDER, S. W. 1984: JEWISH AND FEMALE: CHOICES AND CHANGES IN OUR LIVES TODAY. NEW YORK: SIMON AND SCHUSTER. P. 244.
10 GOLD, N. 1997: “CANADIAN JEWISH WOMEN AND THEIR EXPERIENCES OF ANTISEMITISM AND SEXISM.” R. J. SIEGEL & E. COLE (EDS.), CELEBRATING THE LIVES OF JEWISH WOMEN: PATTERNS IN A FEMINIST SAMPLER. NEW YORK: THE HARRINGTON PARK PRESS. PP. 279-289; SCHNEIDER, S. W. 1984: JEWISH AND FEMALE: CHOICES AND CHANGES IN OUR LIVES TODAY. NEW YORK: SIMON AND SCHUSTER.
11 LANGMAN, P. F. 1995: “INCLUDING JEWS IN MULTICULTURALISM”. JOURNAL OF MULTICULTURAL COUNSELING AND DEVELOPMENT, 23, 222-236.
12 SKIN WHITENING IS POSSIBLE, OF COURSE, AS WE KNOW FROM THE NOTORIOUS CASE OF MICHAEL JACKSON. USUALLY THE RESULTS OF WHITENING ARE SIGNIFICANTLY LESS NOTICEABLE THAN WITH JACKO, THOUGH. THERE ARE NUMEROUS PROBLEMS WITH SKIN WHITENING, BEYOND ETHICS AND PRINCIPLES. THE SUBSTANCES USED IN THE WHITENING, IF THEY’RE EFFECTIVE AT ALL, RARELY PASS SAFETY STANDARDS. IN DEVELOPING COUNTRIES, EXTREMELY POISONOUS CHEMICALS ARE USED IN SKIN WHITENING, SUCH AS MERCURY AND CLOBETASOL PROPIONATE. BETA ARBUTIN IS ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE NATURAL PRODUCTS, BUT IT IS ALSO SUSPECTED OF HAVING CARCINOGENIC PROPERTIES, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS USED OFTEN AND IN LARGE AMOUNTS OVER WIDE AREAS OF SKIN. KOJIC ACID IS ALSO POPULAR, ESPECIALLY IN JAPAN, BUT IT CAUSES ALLERGIC REACTIONS IN MANY USERS AND MAY ALSO BE A CARCINOGEN. CINNAMOMUM SUBAVENIUM, A CHINESE HERB, PREVENTS THE PRODUCTION OF MELANIN, BUT THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE OF ITS EFFICACY OR SAFETY. IN ONE CONTROLLED STUDY IT WAS USED SUCCESSFULLY TO REMOVE ZEBRA FISH STRIPES.
13 “FOOD, BODY IMAGE, AND JUDAISM.” THE CONFERENCE WAS ORGANIZED BY KOLOT-THE CENTER FOR JEWISH WOMEN’S & GENDER STUDIES, WHICH IS PART OF THE RECONSTRUCTIONIST RABBINICAL COLLEGE, AS WELL AS THE RENFREW CENTER OF PHILADELPHIA, WHICH SPECIALIZES IN THE TREATMENT OF EATING DISORDERS.
14 ROWLAND, C. V. 1970: “ANOREXIA NERVOSA. A SURVEY OF THE LITERATURE AND REVIEW OF 30 CASES.” INTERNATIONAL PSYCHIATRY CLINICS, 7, 37-137.
15 SCHNEIDER, S. W. 1984: JEWISH AND FEMALE: CHOICES AND CHANGES IN OUR LIVES TODAY. NEW YORK: SIMON AND SCHUSTER.
16 IBID.
17 LATZER, Y., & TZISCHINSKY, 0. 2003: “WEIGHT CONCERN, DIETING AND EATING BEHAVIORS. A SURVEY OF ISRAELI HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS.” INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF ADOLESCENT MEDICINE AND HEALTH, 15, 295-305.
18 AFTER, A., SHAH, M. A., IANCU, I., ABRAMOVITCH, H., WEITZMAN, A., & TYANO, S. 1994: “CULTURAL EFFECTS ON EATING ATTITUDES IN ISRAELI SUBPOPULATIONS AND HOSPITALIZED ANORECTICS.” GENETIC, SOCIAL, AND GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY MONOGRAPHS, 120, 83-99.
II
I have touched the world’s wound,
the lust for life, and the fear of death.
Christoph Schlingensief,
Heaven Could Not Be As Beautiful As Here: A Cancer Diary
YELLOW: THE LIGHT-RAY HOOK OF COMPASSION
Maimuna, Yalla nako Yalla jox yirmandeem!
Very slowly, without moving, Shlomith appears next to the women, next to the jeep spinning its wheels in the sand, her toes slightly in the air, her calf near the exhaust pipe, and thus the row is complete again. The row that Polina broke once before—which Polina refused to join because she was afraid, because she didn’t have the courage after all to give up the familiar, safe whiteness—when she opened her eyes and started to talk.
The row is as beautiful as the most beautiful funeral procession, as sad as the saddest tune, as comforting as the embrace of Mother Earth. The row is complete. The women are not afraid.
There, somewhere, a moment ago—an eternity, a second ago—they looked at each other once again. Maimuna at Wlibgis, Wlibgis at Polina, Polina at Shlomith, Shlomith at Nina, Nina at Ulrike: each at each. They looked but in a different way than before. No suggestions, no questions, no raised eyebrows. No nervous glances or shirking of responsibility. They checked, like soldiers preparing for a charge check that everyone is completely present, completely awake, that everyone is aware of the command about to come down, the command that they must all execute at exactly the same moment. With their gazes they made clear to everyone, and to themselves, that no one would slip away from the group, that no one would sink into her own thoughts and fall behind. It was time to say goodbye to the white.
Whence this sudden certainty and unanimity? We don’t know. There are many things that are not within our control. Again we are forced to surrender. And it always feels just as crushing. As if we are never going to learn anything from the thousands and thousands of departures, from being left alone, and from new arrivals. As if the people who appear here individually or in clusters, scrunched up or with limbs outstretched, startled or fast asleep, who disappear after their time is through, aren’t a natural part of this cursed process.
The women took each other by a hand and formed a circle. If there was any fear, there was
