But she wasn’t the same Ella anymore.
“Sit down and finish eating,” he said softly. He picked up his fork and did the same, ignoring her outburst as if it’d never happened.
She plopped back into her chair, picked up her spoon, and ate. Silence reigned through the rest of the meal. When Ella finished, she picked up her bowl and carried it to the sink, washing it and her spoon before putting them in the drying rack. She attacked the rest of the dishes and finished them off. As she was drying her hands, Jude came up behind her.
His hands settled on the granite countertop at her sides, his front pressing against her back. His heat wrapped around her as his scent toyed with her emotions. “Let’s establish the rules right now,” he said at her ear, his voice gruff and hitting her right between the legs. “I don’t need you to keep me safe. I don’t need your protection. I need your cooperation. I need your secrets. Because, Ella? You’re mine. You have been since the moment I saw you, and you always will be. It is my right, my goddamn privilege, to take care of you. And if I have to fight you to do that, then by God, I will. I’ve been waging wars for a long time, lady, and when I fight, I win. You’re too important for me to walk away from.”
Her head fell back against his shoulder, and he took advantage, breathing his fire across her neck. She swore she felt the tip of his tongue on her skin. She went molten. “Don’t do this to me, Jude. I begged you in Russia, and I’m begging you here.”
“It’s too late to beg. The game is in play, has been since you began working Dresden. The difference is that I know I’m a major player now.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking me for,” she whispered desperately.
“I’m asking you…for you, Ella. Your lies, your truths, and everything in between.”
Her heart climbed out of her chest and sank to his feet. “The rules?”
“Nothing but truth from now on. If you don’t want to answer me, tell me, but always give me the truth,” he answered, biting the tendon that ran from her neck to the shoulder.
Ella hissed in a breath as lust speared her midsection.
“What else?” she questioned him breathlessly.
“Truth in everything, Ella. That’s the only rule,” he said against her skin.
“Is sex on the game board?” She had to know what was in his mind and, for the life of her, was too afraid to ask him.
“Fucking is always on the board between us, beautiful lady.”
Well, then. Fucking was the same as making love to Jude. He’d gone to great lengths one night to prove that to him, when he was with Ella, there was zero difference. God, the pleasure she’d had in his arms. It had sustained her these long months without him.
“If I give you the truth, you have to do the same.”
He smiled, and she felt the curve against her ear. “I’m not the one who’s lied here, Ella.”
She pushed a hand to her chest. His truths were already painful. “I’m fooling myself…allowing myself to be placated with my desires.” Who was she talking to?
“I appreciate that truth, Ella. To know that you desire me is a relief, considering how far you’ve gone to show me otherwise. But I don’t want the waters muddied too much. As you stated, there’s too much at stake here. Fucking you has always been my greatest joy. Loving you my greatest reward. I’ll do what I can to keep my hands off you, but I can’t promise. My body needs yours, but my soul needs your secrets just as much.”
Then he stepped away from her and walked out of the kitchen.
Ella blew out a rough breath, gathered her wits, and finished cleaning up the kitchen. Fatigue pulled at her. With her belly full and the warmth of the cabin tugging at her, she made her way back upstairs to the room she’d woken in.
Chapter 14
Ella stared out the window from the big recliner, watching the fat flakes fall from an ebony sky and contemplating her next moves. She’d gone back and forth with herself for hours about whether she should just unload the truth on Jude and let the chips fall where they may. Her gut said to do it.
Her training, her word to the Piper, said don’t.
Where did training end and loving Jude begin? Was it that easy?
He was her teammate, and there was every possibility the Piper was playing games with them all, reaching for a conclusion he wanted for reasons that weren’t quite as virtuous as he’d portrayed to Ella in the beginning.
She was tired but not sleepy. She hadn’t seen Jude since he’d left the kitchen earlier. She had no idea where he was or what he was doing.
Jude had taught her how to love. How to trust. The Piper had taught her how to survive.
She was missing something in the puzzle though. She traced back over what she did know, ticking off every fact she’d amassed over the last year. Horace Dresden was a monster who needed to be eliminated. Endgame had been brought on two years ago to effect that outcome for the Piper. The Piper was the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He’d served as the highest-ranking official in the military world for a long time and had the ear of the Secretary of Defense and the President of the United States. He had so many contacts in the world of intelligence that he was probably more powerful than any CIA or FBI director. And he had a hard-on for Horace Dresden, the reasons beginning to seem entirely too personal for Ella’s liking.
And why did she think that? Well, there was the matter of his daughters, Cameron Markov and Anna Beth Caine, former fiancée to