“You’re sorry?” I say, sitting forward on the edge of the sofa. “Have you been watching the news recently? Have you seen what this man has done? To children, to families, to people like me. And you just sit here like it’s nothing to do with you, like you’re innocent in all of this.”
“I have, yes, and I promise to God, I didn’t know all that. I believed in it, I really did. Because when my Josh started going there, and he had his first treatments, they showed us all these numbers and they said it was working. These proteins, GML and that CB-11, they said it were a sign of the tumor dying. And so we kept going with the treatments, round after round. But it was expensive, you see, and we don’t have much, so I borrowed money from everyone I could and then that ran out and I had to remortgage the house.”
Nev sniffed and wiped his nose with his finger. “After twelve treatments, Dr. Sladkovsky said it was working, but we needed to continue. I... I didn’t know how I was going to pay for it, but I signed up for four more rounds, like, and then three more. Who wouldn’t, right? When it’s your only son, that’s what you gotta do, right? And then they kept telling me he was getting better. It’s working, it’s working, they kept saying, it’s working. I really thought my Josh was getting better. Because he looked completely different, he really did. He was brighter and had color in his cheeks, and all the things that were wrong with him before, like his speech, his walking, they all got better. Like a new little lad. Night and day compared to how he was on that chemotherapy...”
Nev’s forehead is glistening with sweat and he wipes his hands on his trousers. “I’d seen it with my wife, you see, and I wasn’t going to let that happen again to my Josh.”
“Your wife?”
“Yeah. She had cancer a few years before Josh. It was very quick.” Nev swallows and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, we were walking out on the moors one weekend—she were a big walker, my Lesley—and all of a sudden, she had this terrible pain and had to go to the emergency room. And that was it. Cancer of pancreas. They said she had nine months, but she only lasted three.” Nev nods at the angels and winged horses. “These were hers. She collected them like.”
The room is silent. Just the sound of children playing and police sirens in the distance.
“That was why I went to Prague, if I’m frank with you, why I spent everything I had. It all went on the clinic—the savings, the house, money from friends. Because I couldn’t bear to see my Josh go through what my Lesley went through.”
I think of something someone wrote on Hope’s Place. That we were victims in all this. Victims. Just following our own paths. Doing what was best for our kids, what any parent would do.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “About your wife. But it doesn’t explain why you kept promoting the treatments when you knew they didn’t work.”
“I... I didn’t know that at the beginning, to be honest. I started promoting the clinic, talking about it on the forums when I thought Josh were getting better. They were telling me it was working, and I believed them. I was convinced by it. I wanted to shout it out from the rooftops, like. I started talking up the clinic because I really—honest to God, Rob—wanted to help the other kids.”
I am sitting forward in my chair, because I don’t want to miss a word. “And after Josh died?”
“Well, I kidded myself at first, didn’t I, still thinking there was something to it. Josh did last longer than all the doctors thought he would. And maybe if he’d started sooner, then it would have worked. That’s what I told myself, that it was my fault.” Nev looks down into his lap. “It was money, as well, though. I admit that.”
“Money?”
“Yes, money.” Nev looks up at me. “I’m not trying to make excuses, like. I know I done wrong. I got in too deep, didn’t I, just too deep. It were one of Dr. Sladkovsky’s staff, who worked in the marketing department, and they saw my posts on the forums, and then they offered me a commission for every patient I brought to the clinic. I was desperate, you see, absolutely desperate. I owed so much to Sladkovsky, over a hundred thousand pounds. The house, after all the other debts were paid off, only covered half of that. Well, they said I could pay my debts off by working for them.
“I wasn’t sure at first, because I knew I would have to lie about Josh, but then they threatened all this legal action and talking about this extradition treaty. I had already lost the house, everything like, and I was just so scared because I had to provide for Chloe, and there’s no work around here now, nothing. And then the money started coming in from Sladkovsky and it were a lot—real good money—and I started paying off the debt, and we were able to move out of me mum’s and come down here...”
“Chloe?” I say.
“Oh, sorry, yes, I’m jabbering away, aren’t I. Chloe is Josh’s sister.”
The little rain boots at the door, the pictures on the fridge, the cartoons in the background. Him and his little one.
“I knew what I were doing was wrong, but I couldn’t let Chloe down, you see. She lost her mom, her brother, and I didn’t want her to see her dad go away to prison. I wanted her to have a home, with her own bedroom an’ all.”
The clouds have obscured the sun, and the light is dimmer now in the front room.
“Can I, um, can I
