Muchly and Moreso,
Stef
Dear Tara,
I got a safe. So you can still write me notes. Why haven’t you written me back? I wrote you, like, 10 notes or more. I know you got them.
Anyway, I got a safe. Please write me back. I miss my friendship with you. And why are you ignoring me in the hallways and around the music room? Actually, anywhere I see you, you walk the other way or pretend I’m not there.
You’re my “big sister,” so please talk to me.
You and Chris seem super happy these days. I mean, whenever I see you guys together by your locker or in the caf, you always jump into his arms and make out with him. When I walked by you guys the other day in F Hall, did you pull up your shirt or was I seeing things?
I hope you are well. I hope life is treating you great. Maybe I will see you at auditions for Diary of Anne Frank????????
I am still hopin’ we can go to Uncle Chung’s together . . . me, you, Chris, and Joy.
I lo
I mean, take care,
Sat. Cat. Matt.
Hello Rick, William, Mickey . . . M . . . M . . . M-M-M . . . OH, right . . . MATT,
I’m sorry, Kid. I am once again strugglin’ with your name. I’m tellin’ you, your parents shoulda thought a little longer about your name ’cuz it truly is very, veeeery complicated to remember for popular, busy, half-of-a-Supercouple girls like me.
Oh my god, Matt, I am sooooooooooo (a thousand o’s) sorry you feel ignored by me. I’m a SENIOR, Matt, so I have a ton of stuff to tend to in the hallways. So, if I’m in the middle of chitchattin’ with my Senior girlfriends or hearin’ a Friday-night plan from another popular person or makin’ out with the greatest man this town has ever seen (CHRISTOPHER CAPARELLI A.K.A. HOTTEST GUY IN THE GREATER NEW ENGLAND AREA), then my sincerest apologies if you, a Freshman, got your feelings hurt.
Safe? Why did you get a safe? Did you rob a diamond store, Young Man? Don’t tell me ’cuz my uncle’s a cop and I will have to report you. I am confused as to why you got a safe and why you would be wastin’ ink tellin’ me about it. Do you have an obsession with safes, Matt? Is this an inside joke or somethin’? I truly wish I understood.
I am SOOO good. Thanks for askin’. Oh my god, my life is so busy lately. I have plans round the clock with important people, and I have colleges to apply to. This woman is gettin’ the hell outta this town and how. But I love it here, Matt. I’m no townie . . . but I have gotten so much from this place.
So, what is up and junk? Yes, I did get your notes. And thank you soooooo much for writin’. Did I read them? Well, I’m not at liberty to say.
Oh, so you saw my breasts the other day in F Hall? How random. I was showing them to the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I didn’t even see you there. I would never have pulled up my shirt if I knew you were there. Ewwwwwww . . . I just got nauseous. You saw my naked body? Oh my god, I need to, like, pretend I didn’t know that. Pretend, Tara. Pretend. K.
I’m psyched it’s gonna snow soon ’cuz I love skiing. And makin’ snowmen. And playin’ in the snow. I’m old but NOT THAT OLD!!! Sure, I don’t trick-or-treat anymore, Matt, but only average people who probably say “mint condition” dress up as Mystic Pizza couples and trick-or-treat.
I do lovvvvvve my winter time. What with the hot cocoa (mmmmmm, maybe Kev Brandolini will come home for Christmas break . . . I bet he’s even more muscular and gorgeous now that he’s in college), and I can’t wait for that first snow. I am a girl who loves the first snow of the season. I cuddle up with my lover by a roarin’ fireplace, and I talk of dreams and hopes. Then, when the streets are blanketed in snow and the town is hushed, I take my lover to Camel Lot, and let’s just say magical things happen.
I should have blindfolded you!! If you ever, EVER tell anyone in this ludicrous town about Camel Lot I will be seriously pissed off, and you don’t wanna see this girl mad. I am a very reserved girl, Matt, but when pushed to the edge, oh my god!!! Did you ever hear about the fight I got into with TaRitzah Rodriguez? It’s pretty legendary. She was bein’ a bitch to me for, like, three months in a row, always makin’ fun of me and crap. Finally, I snapped. I took off my earrings, and I socked the bitch right in her ear. She got cauliflower ear, Matt, but I don’t think it was because of me. I think she was a wrestler. Anyway, she was also pregnant at the time, but I just thought she was gainin’ weight. What? Like I’m supposed to assume 7th-graders are with child? TaRitzah Rodriguez was a trashy girl from the other side of the tracks for sure. I would never punch a pregnant lady, but news alert: Don’t get pregnant if you’re not married, Matt.
What do you even want from me, Matt? Why are you writin’ me all these notes now? Your folding has gotten very good, by the way. Hmmmm, wonder where you learned that from!
I have a ton of preparation to do for the Diary of Anne Frank auditions. What part do I want? Well, Anne Frank, of course. You can tell your wife, Joy Rebecca Bernstein, that this Irish Catholic girl will be hiding in the attic this time around. K, hon? I will land the coveted role of Anne Frank. Hey, if a proper bat mitzvahed girl can be Sandy
