She said nothing.
Erik walked around her and went to the living room. Really, it was one big room with the kitchen at the far end containing the door out of the apartment. They kept their shoes there to at least pretend they weren’t slobs. He put his shoes on and opened the door, holding it open as Göll stood on the other side watching.
“Well?”
She walked out and stood beside him in the hallway while he closed and locked the door. There was no one to see them until they came out into the main parking area. A few people from the complex were there. They stared, pointing and laughing. It wasn’t so much embarrassing for him, but he wondered how Göll felt about it. Clearly she owned the armor, so presumably she’d worn it in public before.
As soon as they were outside, Göll paid much more attention to their surroundings, watching the sky and the paths ahead of and behind them.
They’d covered half a block when Erik got tired of the awkward silence. “So, how did they find you? Your accent is sort of Icelandic sounding. My parents were from there. I spent summers there.”
More silence.
“We can talk, right? The whole joke is over now.” He paused, but she showed no sign that she was going to talk. “No? I’m not hitting on you or whatever. I just… small talk? What do you do?”
She looked at him with a serious expression. “I have come to guide you to Valhalla.”
“Right, stupid question. Þar sem þú ert valkyrja.”
His Icelandic was terrible and rusty, but he thought it would at least trick her into speaking or giving some reaction. A failed plan. She only looked around the sky and again to the sidewalk ahead of them.
The failure was enough to convince him to stop bothering with any attempt to make friendly chatter and so they walked on toward the burger place. Mercifully, there weren’t a lot of people on the street, though there must have been two dozen pictures taken of the pair of them by people in cars and standing at crosswalks. A few asked for permission to take pictures. Göll ignored them and to keep things from getting weird, Erik said it was fine and that she was in character, explaining the gag to a particularly curious set of girls at a stop light that seemed to last a month.
They made the last turn and Bosko’s Burgers was only a half block away. It was owned by this excitable Polish couple who were never there. Chris worked the place alone most days. Really, he ran the entire operation at this point with only a pair of high school aged kids for the busy times.
As soon as Erik walked in the door, Chris came walking out of the back of the empty restaurant, laughing and clapping.
“Oh, this is fucking fantastic, man.” He walked over to Erik and Göll, looking her over. “You finally lose it? How much are you paying her? This is a fetish, right? You’re the viking warrior and she’s come to send you to heaven? I dig it.” Chris slapped a hand onto Erik’s shoulder.
“Oh yeah, it’s hilarious. She broke the bathroom door.”
Chris laughed even harder. “Oh god, dude. I was just joking. You’re paying her to dress up like this?”
Erik rolled his eyes. “Jesus, so you’re not even in on this? I don’t even know who this girl is. And she just keeps saying she’s here to guide me to Valhalla.”
Göll scanned the windows, ignoring that they were talking about her.
“Holy shit, man, really?” Chris breathed a lazy laugh and pulled himself together. “Derek didn’t tell me shit. It’s the clown shit, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
Chris threw his hands up in the air. “Great, so I’m next. Going to get followed around by a mariachi band or some shit.” He turned to Göll. “How much did he pay you?” She looked at Chris and said nothing, then scanned the windows again.
“Yeah, she’s dedicated. It’s ridiculous.” Erik looked at Göll. “Hey, Göll—”
“Weird name. That part of her act?”
“Probably. She’s got an Icelandic accent. Listen. Göll, what am I? What have you come for? Tell Chris.”
She looked at Erik, dead in the eyes. “You are one of Odin’s chosen. I have come to guide you to Valhalla.”
Erik started laughing, and looked at Chris. “See?”
There was a confused expression on Chris’s face. “What’d she say? I didn’t understand it. Is that Icelandic or some shit?”
Erik shook his head. “No man, it’s English. You serious?” He looked at Göll again. “He didn’t understand you. Why are you here?”
“I have come to guide you to Valhalla.”
The words were plenty clear. Erik turned his face back to Chris, smiling expectantly.
Chris had stopped smiling, he shook his head. “There wasn’t a word of English in that sentence, man.”
Erik’s smile faded. “You’re not fucking with me, right?”
“No, man. Like I said, I’m not in on this. You understand her?”
Erik turned to Göll. “One more time, say why you’re here.”
“I have come to take you, Haki Erik Styrsson, to Valhalla.”
A shiver ran through his body and he looked back at Chris who shook his head solemnly. “You need to go see Derek, man. Figure out what this whole thing is.”
Erik nodded. “Yeah. Derek’s…” He shook his head, not sure why he’d bought the whole thing. Chris was in on it. “Yeah, I’ll go see him.”
Chris gave a nervous chuckle and patted Erik on the arm. “Alright man. Keep an eye on her. She’s starting to weird me out, yeah?” He paused a second. “Oh, almost forgot.” He ran to the back and came back with a bag full of food.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Hey, I figured that’s what you came for.” Chris kept shooting glances at Göll. “How are you going to get to Derek’s work?”
“Bus.”
Chris looked at Göll and raised an eyebrow.
Erik sighed. “Göll, do you have a bus pass?” She ignored the question. “Money?” Same response. “Super. So I
