His mother leaned over to him. “You’re quiet.”
“I’m tired.” It was true…but that wasn’t the only reason.
Tomorrow would be better, right?
Shortly after dessert, Seth bid everyone good-night, then wandered back up to his room and stretched out on his bed. Despite his exhaustion, he only managed to stare at the ceiling.
Had Heavenly been interested in Beck all along? Had she used him to make the prick jealous? No. Anger aside, she didn’t have a manipulative bone in her body. She’d simply been honest about her feelings—more honest than he could take.
With a grunt, Seth closed his eyes, resolved to get over her, then fell into a fitful sleep.
But the next day wasn’t better. He found himself measuring every hour by how long it had been since the last time he’d seen Heavenly’s face. The bigger the number, the blacker his mood got.
By evening, he’d decided that enough was enough…and went through a couple of six-packs with his brothers, laughing about old times. He was feeling all right—until he received a text from her.
I’m sorry about the other day. I upset you and I never meant to. I just talked to Raine. She said you’ve gone back to New York. I’ll miss seeing you. Happy holidays.
Translation: Sorry, but I like Beck more than you. Merry fucking Christmas.
He gripped the phone and counted to ten. But no, resentment still simmered. He had things to say, questions to ask. But none of them mattered. He refused to give her more of his energy. And no way would he wish her luck with the sadist who’d break her spirit, her body, and her heart. Seth just wished he’d been smart enough to fuck her out of his system before he left.
Instead, he replied with, It’s fine. Same to you.
Grumbling, he deleted the text, darkened his phone, and shoved it in his pocket.
Was it possible he’d misread her? He was admittedly out of practice actually getting to know a woman.
He didn’t want to care…but he couldn’t stop wondering if he would ever talk to her again. If he did, would it change anything?
Matt leaned in, his expression concerned. “You okay?”
Seth forced a smile. “Oh, don’t act concerned about me and forget to fess up about that time you put an air horn under Sister Mary Rose’s chair in Sunday school.”
The rest of his brothers howled with laughter.
Matt gave him a sly grin. “You’re just mad because you got blamed.”
That made them laugh even harder.
And thankfully no one gave his mood a second thought.
The next morning, he tried to enjoy Christmas Eve with his family. He plastered on a cheerful mask and skated through the long, frustrating day as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
The Cooper family celebrated Christmas Day with a new dusting of snow and a lavish, chaotic, all-too-familiar shit storm of crazy. Presents were waiting to be unwrapped beneath the massive tree in the living room. The fire that never went out crackled and filled the whole house with fragrant pine. Mom had cooked a huge meal. As usual, the overindulgence of feasting, family, and festivities lasted throughout the day and well into the night.
After the winter sky had gone dark, Seth, Matt, and Danny sat outside around a roaring fire pit, sipping whiskey, smoking cigars, and talking smack. It was one of his favorite Christmas traditions…but the shitty movie where the pretty girl chose the villain kept pelting his brain.
Suddenly, Conner rushed out of the house. “Danny, hurry! Maggie… It’s time! Mom’s helping her put on a coat.”
His brother stood and spit his whiskey into the fire, looking wide-eyed and terrified. “I-I’m not ready to be a dad.”
Grace approached, a smile tugging at her lips as she pressed her forehead to Danny’s. “You’re going to be an amazing father. You had the best role models on the planet.”
Seth swallowed down a lump of emotion. She meant their father…and him.
Danny gathered his mental shit and nodded. “Let’s do this.”
Seth was really proud of him—until Danny dashed to the edge of the patio and spewed his guts all over the pristine snow.
“Way to suck it up, bro.” Seth clapped him on the back. “Don’t worry. We’ve got your back.”
Danny wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I’m good.”
Piling into two cars, they caravanned to the hospital. Anna Mae Cooper was born an hour later, making her the highlight of their Christmas. Mother and daughter had come through with flying colors, while the loud Cooper clan had cheered, earning disapproving frowns from the nurses.
Over the following days, the new baby filled the house with joy. It was bittersweet for Seth. He remained annoyingly unbalanced. Everyone gave him a wide berth. The extra bit of breathing room was nice, but he couldn’t shake the oppressive need for something…somewhere…or someone. Seth would have written it off since this time of year always messed with his head. But it felt as if he’d outgrown his own skin.
Things would get better after the holidays. They had to.
Finally, New Year’s Day arrived—along with a bitch of a hangover. At least his brothers hadn’t fared any better.
He packed up his belongings and prepared to head back to the city and his normal life, relieved the holiday confinement with his well-meaning family was at an end. Then he spent the weekend righting his brownstone and trying to lose himself in work. But continued emptiness rode him hard. Where was the warmth and cheer? He’d left them in LA. With Heavenly, who kept intruding into his thoughts.
How had she spent Christmas? Rung in the New Year? Had she celebrated in Beck’s bed?
As he stood in the shower on Monday morning,
