“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Nothing mindless, uncomplicated sex won’t cure.
That had to be it. Between Liam’s woes, Heavenly’s wiles, and all the family closeness, he hadn’t gotten laid in weeks. Time to fix that shit.
He walked through his workday, his mind already on the evening and what he’d do to shake this malaise. After a frozen dinner in front of some cable news, he checked his watch. Nearly nine. Time to find his leather pants, head to Graffiti—his kinky home away from home—and take control of his life again.
Twenty minutes later, he sat on a stool, absorbing the palpable hum emanating from the Doms and subs scening in the dungeon as he breathed in the heady scent of sex.
Gemma, a sub with whiskey-brown hair and pale green eyes, sidled up to him. “I was beginning to think you’d left us for good, Seth Sir.”
While he hadn’t had the chance to work her over, she’d definitely been on his radar before Liam’s distress call had taken him out west. Gemma was his type—a few years older, experienced, and not interested in a full-time Master. A few weeks ago, he’d itched to have her under his control and in his bed. His impatient cock had scraped his zipper the instant he’d set eyes on her trim, scantily clad body. Now, it didn’t even twitch.
Too bad. That fucker between his legs was going to get happy.
He nodded Gemma’s way. “Good to be here.”
“If you’re looking for someone to play with, I’ll happily volunteer, Sir.”
Yeah, he was going to move the hell on and stop giving his mental power to Heavenly. He would find the goddamn will to bend Gemma—or someone like her—to his.
“Then kneel, girl.”
The smug smile Gemma sent him from beneath her dark lashes and her graceful slide to the floor was all the consent he needed.
So how was it that, less than forty-five minutes later with Gemma still tied to his bed, looking rosy-assed and well fucked, he itched to free her, forego his usual lavish aftercare, and go home?
Because the only woman he wanted naked and at his mercy was thousands of miles away.
Right on cue, the dreaded movie in his head starring Heavenly played in its entirety again.
Clearly, settling back into his apartment, his routine, and his sex life hadn’t cured him.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now? He could pick up the phone. Hell, he could catch the next plane. But no matter how strong his feelings for Heavenly were, they didn’t change hers for Beck. He was going to have to give himself time. Suck it up and move forward.
After a seemingly endless stream of pointless days, January crept to a close. Seth avoided Graffiti and picked up a compulsive gym habit, morning and night. In between, he drowned in work, eschewing cheating spouse cases for pursuing bounties and criminals. Between the endorphin and adrenaline highs, he managed to get through each day and reach exhaustion every night.
But it didn’t take long before his cheap escape stopped working. His steady-paying business dropped off, and he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit. Instead, he began looking for some other way to fill the time and emptiness. Insomnia set in. Since he hated infomercials, he figured he had two choices: climb the walls or indulge in pointless fantasies about Heavenly.
A busy but hollow self-sex life won out.
A craptastic blizzard ushered February in. Finally, Seth’s yearning trumped his pride. He almost didn’t care that Liam would give him a ration of shit for dodging his calls since Christmas. He couldn’t stand not hearing about Heavenly anymore.
With a sigh, he dialed Liam and apologized for being “busy.” His old pal tormented him for twenty minutes with the happenings in the Hammerman/O’Neill/Kendall household, Raine’s pregnancy, and their first holiday in their new home. All the while, Seth burned with wanting news of his angel…
His old friend finally paused, letting the silence between them stretch uncomfortably. Then Liam sighed. “Go on, then. Ask me.”
Seth didn’t bother playing coy. “How is she? Tell me now or I’ll throat-punch you next time I see you.”
“You can try.” Liam gave a hearty laugh, then sobered. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“Christ, what do you want? I’ve been an idiot. A jerk. I was wrong. Just tell me.”
“Say you’re sorry,” Hammer taunted in the background.
“Fuck off,” he groused. “I need to know.”
He imagined a million reasons Liam was stalling, everything from yanking his chain for fun to Heavenly eloping with Beck.
“She’s fine. Better than fine, actually. I did warn you what would happen if you pissed off and left the gate open, didn’t I?”
Seth’s heart stopped. “Are she and Beck really together?”
“They’re dating.”
He gripped the phone tighter. The two-ton weight on his chest got heavier. “And?”
“She seems happy. So does Beck. You, my friend, might have been, too, if you’d stayed.”
So there was no hope at all. He wasn’t surprised. But it still hurt like a bitch.
“She gave me no reason to—”
“She gave you no reason to leave, either,” Liam insisted. “If you want to be a part of Heavenly’s life, you have to earn your place in her heart.”
Liam’s cutting observation hit a painful, perfect bull’s-eye. “You just told me she’s taken. I don’t poach.”
And I can’t make her want me.
His friend’s platitudes about not giving up went in one ear and out the other. Seth hung up minutes later, feeling more discouraged than ever.
Early February was full of frenetic, meaningless shit, except now he saw hearts, flowers, and lovers everywhere as Valentine’s Day approached. Seth tried not to
