(Okay, so Sadie has purple hair. But she’s dressed really nicely. And the justices shrug like they’re fine with the way she looks.)
LIVINGSTON GULCH: “Applicant must also have attained the legal age of adulthood in the state where he or she resides.” That’s California. She’s got to be eighteen.
SAM WARREN: She is eighteen. Today’s her birthday.
LIVINGSTON GULCH: We’d need proof of some kind. A birth certificate. The long form.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN FROM VISITORS’ SECTION: I’m her father. And I’m telling you it’s her birthday. My girl is eighteen today.
LIVINGSTON GULCH: I’d have to hear it from the lady who gave birth to her.
CHIEF JUSTICE REYNOLDS: We’ll accept a sworn affidavit from her mom.
(This is a problem. Sadie looks at Mom, who stands up.)
UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN FROM VISITORS’ SECTION: Mr. Chief Justice, her mother is no longer living. But as her stepmom since the girl was six, I can assure you that Sadie Warren is of excellent moral character and a blessing to her family. She stands up for what’s right. She’s true to herself. She’s an inspiration to me.
CHIEF JUSTICE REYNOLDS: And that’s your unbiased opinion?
UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN FROM VISITORS’ SECTION: Yes, it is.
(Sadie turns all the way around and looks at Mom. They keep looking at each other until the Chief chimes in.)
CHIEF JUSTICE REYNOLDS: All right, then, let’s admit her to the Bar and get the proceedings underway.
LIVINGSTON GULCH: What about the fee?
CHIEF JUSTICE REYNOLDS: What fee?
LIVINGSTON GULCH: “The fee for admission to the Bar and a certificate bearing the seal of the Court is $200, payable to the United States Supreme Court.” Rule 5.5.
(At this point Dad reaches into his wallet, but he doesn’t have that much cash on him. Alistair pulls out his twenty, and Jaesang comes up with another twenty, and other people start pitching in, but then I see Sadie reaching into her pocket and unfolding two crisp hundred-dollar bills. Her face is all flushed like she’s trying to figure something out.)
SADIE WARREN: Do you take cash?
(She hands the clerk two hundred-dollar bills—the birthday money Mr. Kalman gave her. Then she walks up to the lectern, and the marshal sets the time clock to thirty minutes. It starts to count down, but she just stands there. Mom and Dad each give her a thumbs-up, but that doesn’t help. She looks at me, and I give her this begging-little-brother look. That doesn’t help either.
Chief Justice Reynolds clears his throat and nods at the clock, which is down to 29:30 and counting. How much more of our time is she going to waste?!
She’s practically dripping sweat from her upper lip. But it’s not anger sweat this time. It’s terror sweat.
Down to 28:50 . . . I give her a look—not like, You can do this, Sadie; I believe in you, but more like, Come on, already!
Then I elbow her hard in the arm.
She takes a deep breath and turns to the bench. I go and sit down, this time at the appellants’ table—in case she needs another elbow.)
SADIE WARREN: Mr. Chief Justice, and may it please the Court, this, um—
(That word again. But she takes a minute. She thinks it through.)
This is a case about the rights of children to have a childhood. We come before you because one sixth-grade boy, my brother, stood up for that right by refusing to do his homework. As you’ve seen in the days leading up to this hearing, over a million school-age children and their parents have stood with us to ask that you put an end to a practice that not only violates our nation’s Constitution but harms its future.
JUSTICE RAUCH: How is homework harmful to the country’s future?
SADIE WARREN: There’s too much of it, Justice Rauch. Most of it is quite dull. It takes away the downtime, the dream time, if you will, of the next generation’s developing minds.
JUSTICE DEFAZIO: I thought that homework was designed to reinforce what was covered in class. A ten- or fifteen-minute exercise.
SADIE WARREN: It may have been once upon a time, Justice DeFazio. But the fact is, today’s teachers are so stressed by Common Core and the high-stakes testing that goes with it, they use homework to get done what they can’t do in class.
JUSTICE FITZGERALD: What’s wrong with that?
SADIE WARREN: It doesn’t work, for one thing. Kids are too burnt out by the time they get home. The evidence shows that in elementary school, homework has a negative impact on student outcomes. In middle school it’s neutral. And in high school there may be a slight advantage, but at a great cost.
JUSTICE SUERTE: Cost to what?
SADIE WARREN: Childhood.
JUSTICE RAUCH: How can we be sure that this homework epidemic, which you imply plagues the youth, is real? Where’s the proof?
SADIE WARREN: We included several homework surveys in our brief, Justice Rauch.
JUSTICE RENFRO: Kids might exaggerate their answers on the survey. We need empirical evidence.
UNIDENTIFIED BOY FROM VISITORS’ SECTION: You want evidence? Take a look at this.
(Alistair jumps up and approaches the nine robed justices. The marshal blocks his way. But Alistair does a quick fake left and then steps right to get around him. He rolls up his left sleeve and continues.)
Math book pages forty-five to fifty, odds and evens. Plus worksheet on decimals.
(He rolls up his right.)
World History. Read chapter four. Do Skills Practice on page eighty-seven.
(He pulls up his shirt.)
Figure out how many steps it took for a forty-niner to walk from Missouri to California. Gimme a break! She doesn’t even say how big the guy’s feet are.
(He pulls up his shirt even more. Now he’s reading upside down.)
Spelling test on Friday. Geography quiz Monday. Finish Black Ships Before Troy by Tuesday. Oh, and this reminder about my science project.
(He yanks his shirt all the way over his head and—heaven help us!—flashes the United States Supreme Court. Across his chest he wrote “Solar
