“This is the ring that I gave Maria,” he said twirling it around in his fingers. Hismood seemed to have changed. There was a sudden peacefulness about him now.
“I remembered the first time I saw her. Man. She was pretty,” he said smiling tohimself.
“I knew that she was going to be my wife and the mother of my children,” he saidstuffing the ring into his pocket.
“But she was just like everybody else. A fucking liar. I married Maria because shewas strong, but she couldn’t handle it. She just didn’t have the stomach to deal with mylife,” he said.
“But you’re different. Your abuela and momma, even your faggot ass brother, theywere easy to break. But you, shit, you’re as stubborn as a fucking mule.”
He walked over to me and rested his hand on my head. I flinched.
“Look at you. You’re a fighter,” he said stroking my hair.
“Your always fighting something or somebody, you’re so busy fighting that younever took the time to love,” he said sitting down next to me.
“Get away from me,” I said with my teeth chattering. Nico laughed gently andscooted closer to me. He ran his fingers through my hair. I couldn’t look at him head on,so I just stared at his profile. He caressed my cheek and chin; my body tingled from histouch.
“You’ve took a lot of beatings from life. But life don’t have to be hard, baby. No.You just need to stop fighting and trust in me, and then all the pain you feel inside herewill disappear,” he said while resting his hand over my heart. I didn’t move; it was almostlike his energy was coiling around me like a snake. I felt an impending sense of doom,like at any moment he would swallow me whole like an Anaconda.
“You want to be loved, but you keep holding back.” He kissed my neck, and I felt aweird sensation in my private area.
“But being loved is all about surrendering. It’s all about putting someone else incharge of your fate,” he said, brushing his lips against the side of my face. No. What washe doing? He reached over and unbuttoned the top of my blouse and gently fondled themosquito bites that I had for breasts.
“Love is the most powerful thing, because you either trust enough, or have sufferedenough, to give up control,” he said placing his hand over my heart.
“You see, it beats for me,” he said smiling.
“Come on Nina, stop fighting me. All I’ve done was love you, I was the only onewho loved you,” he said while leaning close to me so that his lips were very close tomine.
“I want to try and love, but you dig up all these awful things,” I said trying to resisthim by pulling away.
Nico just chuckled before he replied. “That’s just it. Love ain’t free baby. You got togive something in order to get it. But I’ll tell you what, if you give in to me, I’ll makesure that you are taken care of,” he said.
“Me and my brother?” I asked. “Yeah,” he replied.
“And Maria too?” I asked. He looked at me in a funny kind of way. Then he smiledand shook his head.
“Maria too,” he said.
I sighed. I didn’t think that Nico was asking for too much. Besides, he was the onlyperson in the world who was willing to love me, to care for me. I could get used to thenightmares. In time, they wouldn’t even bother me anymore, because I would be loved. Iinched forward and pressed my lips against his, they were soft and wet. He pressedagainst mine firmly, sticking his tongue deep into my mouth. I was surprised by mybody’s reaction; I pulled him close to me and managed to let out a few moans.
I felt like nothing existed except for the moment. There was no future or memoriesof the past. I tucked my fingers between his. It was my way of bonding, of feeling like Iwas finally going to be complete. My blouse was pulled over my shoulders. I felt woozy,almost like I was drunk off of love. I lay on the bed with my bra and jeans on. I began toshiver from my near nakedness. I reached over and stroked his hair while he continued toplant kisses on my body and lips.
We embraced, and rolled around in the bed. The sheets beneath us felt as soft as silk,and the room was so warm. I loved this feeling. I wanted it to last forever. He grabbedmy hand and brought it toward his private area. He looked me in the eye as he coachedme on how to massage it. I pulled back when it got hard. He chuckled lightly. Isurrendered and waited. My heart began to pound. I started to breath heavy. I was dyingwith anticipation. My body ached with passion. I closed my eyes and waited for themoment when I would finally be a woman. I leaned my head back and moaned.
Suddenly, Nico jumped and hurriedly crawled off me. I sat up and saw Mariastanding in the doorway. She looked like she was ready for battle, her feet were shoulderwidth apart, her mouth was twisted, and her fists were balled up and placed at her hips.
“Get out of here!” she yelled with her voice reverberating throughout the room like aripple of thunder. I moved quickly. I didn’t have time to put on my clothes, so I wrappeda sheet around my body, picking my garments off the floor as I headed toward thebedroom door. I squeezed past Maria and looked back. She was fuming.
“Oh no baby. Calm down,” Nico said holding out his hand as Maria made her wayover to him. I couldn’t watch anymore. I ran out
