There was so much ruckus. I was confused, like a deer befuddled by the noise andcar lights. I didn’t know which way to run to find safety. So I ping ponged back andforth, twisting and turning, dodging oncoming cars like a piñata on a string. I jumped,and felt the wind from the speed of a car that was right behind me. I fell forward and slidhard on the pavement. The concrete peeled off the top layer of my skin. I tried to get upand move out of the way, but then I felt a sharp pain rise up from my right leg. I lookeddown and saw that it was bloody and tender. The pain took my breath away, I gasped,holding my leg and working hard to digest the pain. Cars stopped. Doors flung open.
“Oh my God! There’s a young girl on the road!”
“Did you hit her? I don’t know, at least I didn’t think that I did.”
“Are you alright?”
I closed my eyes. Tears were burning behind my lids. I squeezed tight and tried hardto hold them back. How could I tell them that I wasn’t all right? I was in pain, and Ididn’t want to feel pain, not ever again. I started to sob uncontrollably. The ground feltcold and rock hard, like my heart.
“Don’t worry, we called for help, everything is going to be okay.”
I heard the sound of sirens. Good, hopefully, someone would be able to stop the pain.I needed them to stop the pain.
I remember a whole gaggle of people around me, asking me questions. What was myname? Where was my mommy and how could they contact her? Then, there wasblackness. I woke up in a hospital.
Everything was white, my eyeballs stung from the beseeching light. I was wearing apaper-thin nightgown. The sheets were white, and they were pulled all the way up to mychin. I wiggled my left leg and then my right. I froze and looked down with surprisewhen I could not feel my toes. I tried to lift it. It felt heavy, like it had been wrapped in acast of cement. The curtain pulled back and an elderly woman stepped in. She had darkskin with grey hair that poked out of her bonnet. She smiled at me, then turned aroundand closed the curtain.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, walking closer to me holding a clipboard.
I shrugged my shoulders. I had just woken up, and I really wasn’t sure how I wasfeeling. I didn’t feel any physical pain, so I guess that was good. I tried to sit up, butfound it hard to adjust my leg with the caste on it.
“Easy now.” The woman said as she leaned in closer to help me sit up. She gentlylifted me from under my shoulders into an upright position. I was amazed by how strongshe was.
“Thank you.” I heard myself say.
“Sweetie, you don’t got to thank me; this is what I am here for.”
I tried to smile, but couldn’t. The woman reached behind me and started to adjust mypillows.
“Now, how’s that?” she asked, smiling at me again. Her smile was wide with awhole bunch of gum showing. She had pearly white teeth. I wondered if they were allhers.
“Better,” I said.
“Better than what, lying on the concrete?” I placed my hands in my lap and focusedall of my attention there. For some reason, I felt ashamed, embarrassed by my behavior.She probably thought that I was a wild child and that I put my parents through hell. Ireally wasn’t all that bad; at least I didn’t think so. For some odd reason, I needed her tolike me. I didn’t really know why. She reached over and placed her hands under my chinand lifted my head up.
“You’re such a beautiful girl; you should never put your head down.” She said thiswith her eyes sparkling.
“I can’t help it.” I choked.
“What? Of course you can. You got a lot more power than you give yourself creditfor.”
“I might have power, but I ain’t got my daddy’s love,” I said. I didn’t think that Iwould be in a mood to open up to anybody, especially a stranger, but I felt like someoneneeded to know what I was going through.
She leaned back, like a queen who had just been affronted. “Stop talking nonsense,you got so much love,” she said placing her hands on her hips.
“No I don’t, at least not from my daddy. I overheard him talking on the phoneand…” My voice started to crack. I couldn’t finish.
“Look at me,” she demanded while sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You’re sad because you’ve been lied to. There ain’t no conditions on love.”
“Then why does he treat me like I don’t even exist,” I said choking on my tears.
The woman sighed and continued. “Nelly, you ever hear the story about the polarbear?”
“The polar bear?” I was a little confused. I didn’t understand what a polar bear had todo with my daddy not loving me. I paused. She knew my name. How did she know myname? She looked at the clipboard, silly. But then how did she know that people calledme Nelly? There’s no way she could have known that. Who was this woman? Before Igot a chance to ask she started yapping away about this polar bear.
“There was a family of polar bears who hibernated in
