“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Ash said quietly, and Carmen snapped her eyes open.
“My God, I think I did just drift off there.” How embarrassing. Carmen blinked a couple of times and sat up straighter.
“No worries.” Ash’s face was open and friendly. “You didn’t drool, so you’re good.”
Laughing, Carmen rubbed lightly at her face just to verify the lack of drool. She sat up straighter to accept the coffee Ash passed to her. “Thank you. For the coffee and pastry. And for agreeing to meet with me.”
Ash shrugged. “My pleasure. And to be honest, I’m never going to turn down an invite that involves custard tarts.”
“Ah, so it wasn’t my company that tempted you.”
Ash took a big bite of her pastry and mumbled around it, “Nope, sorry to burst your bubble.”
Carmen chuckled and reached for her own pastry.
They ate in a comfortable silence until the pastries had been demolished. Carmen downed her espresso in three mouthfuls and sighed happily as she placed the cup back on the table. “Exactly what I needed.” She smiled at Ash. “Well, and the company too.”
Ash dipped her head. “And you know I was only teasing just now.”
“I thought so.”
They smiled at each other.
Wow, her eyes are the deepest brown I think I’ve ever seen. Gorgeous .
“So.” Ash drew the word out. “Want to tell me what made you need the emergency custard tart meeting?” She held up a hand before Carmen could respond. “And obviously, you don’t have to. We can just sit here and enjoy the sunshine. Talk about the weather like normal Brits do.”
It was so easy to relax when she was around Ash. “You’re very good at this.”
“What? Eating custard tarts?” Ash’s eyes twinkled.
“No, you know what I mean. At making me feel at ease. It’s…it’s why I called you. Last night. I needed a dose of calm in my life, and I…I thought of you.” Carmen swallowed. “Does that sound strange? Or stalker-ish?”
Ash laughed. “Definitely not that last thing you said.” She seemed to think for a moment. “I suppose it’s a little strange, given we don’t know each other. But then, all friendships have to start somewhere, don’t they? And I’m touched that you find me a calm influence.” One side of her mouth turned up in a wry smile. “I’ve worked very hard to become that for myself, so it’s kind of cool that it’s rubbing off on other people too.”
“How did you do it?” Carmen leaned forward so she wouldn’t miss a word.
Ash’s smile didn’t waver. “Therapy.”
“Really?”
“Mostly, yes.” Ash paused. “Before I was a tattooist, I worked in investment banking for fifteen years. It wasn’t a pretty place. But it took me a long time to figure that out and the damage it was doing to me. There was other stuff too.” Her gaze drifted away, and she visibly swallowed.
Someone hurt her. Carmen thought about asking but feared it might be too invasive.
Ash briefly shook her head and turned her attention back to Carmen. “Anyway, I got out of banking and took a couple of years off. I spent a good portion of that seeing a therapist and some of it travelling around Australia and New Zealand. And the rest of it turning my love of drawing and sketching into something that could earn me some money. Something where I could be my own boss, control my own destiny, if you like.”
“Good for you.” Carmen didn’t know why her throat had closed up a little. “I’m…I’m so impressed that you not only recognised what you needed but actually went out to attain it.”
“To be honest, I had to.” Ash’s voice was quiet. “I couldn’t have gone on the way I was without something serious happening.”
Carmen swallowed. The idea that this strong, confident woman could have been brought so low as to consider harming herself made her shudder. “I understand.”
Their gazes locked and held.
Ash cleared her throat. “So, the calmness you’ve seen in me comes from all of that. Of recognising where I was going wrong and fixing it and, as a result, being truly content with my life.”
Carmen leaned back in her chair. “I can’t imagine what that would feel like.”
She was no longer surprised that such honest statements kept spouting from her mouth. Ash apparently had that effect on her, and it seemed stupid to resist.
“So, what gives with you? Why the frazzled-sounding Carmen on the phone last night?”
Carmen took a deep breath. “Well, basically, I’m letting my work rule my life. I know it, but I either don’t know how to stop it or don’t want to know.”
“What do you do, workwise?”
“I’m a talent agent. You know what that is?” At Ash’s brief nod, she continued. “I’ve become very successful in the last three years, after slogging quite hard to make a name for myself. Suddenly, it’s all paid off, but there are consequences.”
She told Ash all about the screw-up with Tristan, the workload, and her own bone-weary tiredness. “And on top of all that, as you know, I finished things with Gerald, which was the right thing to do, but it seems I’ve subconsciously used that as an excuse to work even harder.”
“Kind of counterproductive?”
“I’m starting to think so. But you know what it’s like when you’re your own boss. Holidays are a distant dream, as is starting at nine and finishing at five.”
Ash nodded slowly. “True. But is it just you in the agency, or do you have a team?”
“I have one assistant, Monica. I took her on about a year ago.”
“So you do have someone who can help you. If you’d let her.”
“And that’s the crux, isn’t it?” Carmen mused. “I guess I’ve become so used to being on my own and managing everything myself, I don’t know how to let go some of the control.”
“Do you trust Monica?”
“Oh, totally!”
“Well, as hard as it is, you probably do need to give her more to do.”
Hmm, maybe Ash was right. If she gave more of her smaller clients to
