Courtney gasped. “Shit, Ash, seriously? God, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“I know you didn’t. It’s okay.”
“Did…did it ever get any better? You know, before…”
Ash swallowed hard. Despite everything—the hurt her parents had caused her for so many years and the battle she’d gone through to become the person she wanted to be—she’d give anything to be able to talk to them again. About anything. “It got a little better, but I can’t lie, it still wasn’t brilliant by the time they died.”
Courtney was silent for a moment. “I know someone at bingo. Rachelle. Her son’s gay.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I was thinking of talking to her. Maybe ask her some questions. You know, like how did she deal with it.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” As long as this Rachelle is okay with having a gay son. God, please let it be so .
“Yeah, well, might help.”
“I think it’s great you’re trying, Courtney. I really do.”
“All right.” Courtney’s voice sounded a little gruff. “Hey, Sophie’s just walked in. Do you want to say hi?”
“Sure! Put her on.”
There was the rustling sound of the phone being handed over, and Sophie’s muffled voice saying, “Thanks, Mum,” before she said more clearly, “Hey, Auntie Ash!”
“Hey, you. How are you?”
“I’m good. I mean, I freaked Mum out with the pictures, but I think it’s okay.”
Ash was impressed her niece felt no need to lower her voice, even though Courtney must still have been within earshot. “Just out of interest, whose pictures did you put up?”
“Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and Brie Larson as Captain Marvel.”
“Oh, I see. Powerful superheroines do it for you, huh?” She kept her tone gentle and light so Sophie would know she was teasing.
“Shut up .” Sophie huffed an exasperated breath down the line. “They’re, you know, role models for what strong women can be.”
“And they’re also not exactly bad to look at.”
“Maybe.” Her niece’s voice was quiet. “Is that…? Is it okay to think that?”
“Yes, Sophie, it is.”
“Those arms,” her niece whispered, and Ash found herself nodding.
“I hear you.”
“Okay, this is too weird. I can’t talk about this stuff with you anymore. It’s…ew.”
Ash laughed, then grimaced as she had to dodge around a cyclist who seemed hell-bent on running her down by going the wrong way up a one-way street. “If you can’t talk to me, who can you talk to?”
“I guess. But it’s just… Ugh, it’s all so new, and saying some things out loud still seems like, you know, huge .”
“I bet it does. Take your time. Set your own pace. No one gets to tell you how to do this, not even me who’s done it before. But I’m here for you to talk to if you want to.”
“Thanks, Auntie Ash. I…I really appreciate this.”
“You’re welcome.” Ash glanced at her watch. “Hey, shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”
“I’m fourteen, not four.”
Ash smiled; she could imagine Sophie rolling her eyes.
“But,” Sophie continued, “I am pretty tired, so I guess I’ll say goodnight.”
“All right. Sleep tight, monkey.”
“Will you ever stop calling me that?”
“Do you really want me to?”
There was a slight pause before her niece said quietly, “No. I love it.”
“Good. Talk to you soon, monkey.”
Chapter 10
Carmen strode down the street towards Alma’s, enjoying the feel of the sunshine on her face. She hoped Ash had managed to snag them an outside table again—always assuming Ash had made it there first.
At the thought of Ash and their imminent meeting, Carmen once again wondered why it was the tattooist she’d called the evening before. You barely know her. Why on earth was she the person you thought of seeing?
She couldn’t explain it. All she could remember was how calm and relaxed she felt around Ash. She wanted to feel that again, even for just half an hour. Derailing the weekend visiting Tristan and his partner in Paris had upset her. She’d worked late last night, of course, after talking to her brother and Ash, but it had been a struggle. Her mind had whirled with thoughts of Tristan, her career, and…Ash.
A shake of her head brought her back to the moment. She crossed the street and smiled widely; Ash sat at the same table as last time, waving at Carmen. She wore a dark blue, short-sleeved shirt, something loose and cool for the warmer July weather. It made her look even more the stereotypically butch lesbian, but it suited her. Carmen envied her relaxed look, given that she herself was dressed up to the nines, as always, in a skirt suit and high heels.
“Hi,” Carmen said as she stepped nearer. “Good table.”
Ash grinned. “Well, it seemed to work for us pretty well last time.”
“Indeed.” Carmen pulled out a chair and sat. “How are you?”
“I’m good. And you?”
“I’m… I’ve been better.”
Hmm, interesting. She had been about to respond with a bland “I’m fine”, but somehow the more honest answer had escaped her lips. What was it about Ash that lowered her emotional walls so easily? It was a tad unnerving. She slipped off her jacket and hung it on the back of the chair, using the time to compose herself. The warmth of the sun caressed her bare arms and soothed her.
Ash tilted her head. “Okay, before we go any further with this conversation, I think you need a custard tart and a coffee, yes?”
“You’re a mind reader.”
“It was an espresso, is that right?”
“A double, please.”
Ash nodded and disappeared inside the shop.
Carmen sat back, letting the sun fall on her
