Ash wasn’t sure what to say. Years ago, before she had started to make progress at the bank, she probably would have been one of the people scorning Carmen for her privileged position. However, she knew from first-hand experience that having a lot of money didn’t mean life was all rosy. Far from it, sometimes.
“Sorry, I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I?” Carmen stared at her across the small table. “You probably think I’ve got no right to complain, given my background. Born into money, everything so easy from the get-go.” The bitterness in her tone was unmistakable.
“Actually, not at all. Sure, you probably had a lot of things growing up that I didn’t. And I bet you found it easy to get into university and buy your first home and all those things.” Ash held up a hand when Carmen would have interrupted. “But I know from earning a high income myself in the past that being rich is not all it’s cracked up to be. I always thought it would be, and I worked my arse off for years to attain a level that I thought would bring me true happiness. And then I realised that was a pile of shit. That money isn’t everything.” She locked gazes with Carmen. “You’ve come from a privileged background, and yes, that has helped you get where you are. But unless someone like me has walked in your shoes, we have no right to make any assumptions about how easy and good your life has been because of it.”
“Thank you.” Carmen’s eyes were misty. “For what it’s worth, I turned my back on my family’s money and status the minute I turned eighteen. Everything I’ve done since then I’ve done on my own. I never once tapped into the funds that could be available to me. It was important to me to be my own person.” She took a sip of her wine, looking more composed. “But I know despite that, some people will never look past my accent and the assumptions it will cause them to make.” She smiled wanly. “I’m glad you’re not one of them.”
Ash nodded. “I’m not. Of course, if you were a stuck-up bitch about it all, then it would be a different matter.”
Carmen threw her head back and laughed.
They stayed for a second glass and left the bar shortly after nine. Carmen was surprised she’d talked about her background so much—Ash now knew all about just how well-off Carmen’s family was. She hadn’t flinched as such, but her eyes had widened considerably when she’d heard there was an actual family estate.
“Cab or Tube?” Ash asked as they stepped out onto the street.
“Cab, I think.” Carmen checked her phone. Six emails and two missed calls. Ugh . “I ought to deal with a few things before I get to bed.”
“You can tell me it’s none of my business, but are you going to slow down any time soon?”
Carmen sighed. “You know what it’s like running your own business. I can’t afford to slack, or the whole thing could fall to pieces. It’s my reputation that’s built this agency, much like it’s yours that keeps that studio going.”
“I’m not suggesting slacking.” Ash pursed her lips. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the last few times I’ve seen you, you’ve looked so tired. I’d like to think we’re friends now, and as a friend, I’m telling you I’m concerned.”
Friends? Yes, they were that. But is that all she sees me as? Carmen knew they’d had that moment in the bar, their heads pressed close together over the laptop. It had been more tempting than Carmen would ever have realised to lean in and kiss Ash. She’d held back—just—determined not to rush anything or risk embarrassing herself or Ash. But she also knew that being with Ash made her feel good, and so did Ash’s concern for her well-being.
“I understand. You’re not the only one expressing concerns.” Carmen smiled ruefully.
“Felicity?”
“Yes. And my brother and Tamsyn too.” Carmen pushed her handbag up into her shoulder. “She’s been with me from the beginning and seen it all happen, and yes, she’s worried too.” A yawn threatened to escape, as if to emphasise the subject of their discussion. “I know you’re all correct, but I honestly don’t know what to do about it.”
Ash placed a hand on Carmen’s arm.
Carmen’s breath caught. She almost didn’t hear Ash’s next words.
“Look, I’m unfortunately pretty busy before my trip, but afterwards, do you want to spend some time brainstorming? Maybe we can come up with a new way forward for you?”
Carmen blinked and worked hard to focus on Ash’s words, rather than her touch. She wanted to take Ash’s hand in her own. Feel their fingers entwine, know what it felt like to hold a woman’s hand. Ash’s hand.
“Carmen? You okay?”
“Yes. Yes, of course. Sorry.” She pulled gently away from Ash’s touch. “This was lovely. Thank you.”
“It was. I’m…I’m really glad you called again.” Ash looked as if she wanted to say more, then stopped.
“Me too.” What was she going to say?
“So,” Ash said brightly, almost too brightly. “Shall we try and do something before I head off? Perhaps coffee and a certain type of pastry one morning?”
“Sounds great.” Carmen looked round for a cab. “I should go.”
Ash smiled. “Okay. I’m going to head that way.” She pointed behind them. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
Carmen watched her go, watched the way she walked, with her hands in her pockets, her stride long for someone not that tall. She walked with a grace that was almost cat-like. Mesmerising.
At the corner Ash looked back. When their gazes met, she stopped and tilted her head, a quizzical look on her face. Her long fringe framed one side of her face; the setting sun highlighted the other side.
God. She’s beautiful .
Part of Carmen wanted to head towards Ash, run into her arms, and tell
