Sophie was right; something had definitely changed.
Oh well, I guess I’ll find out after dinner.
The three of them prepared the meal together, and it was more fun than Ash would have anticipated. By the time they started, Courtney seemed to have shaken off her day, and the three of them laughed and teased their way through putting together burgers and a large salad. Ash couldn’t remember the last time she and her sister had been so at ease.
They took the food out to the garden, and Sophie topped up her lemonade while Ash poured more wine for herself and Courtney.
“Cheers.” Sophie raised her glass.
Ash and Courtney clinked theirs against hers, and they all took a quick sip before tucking into the food.
Later, once the plates were cleared away, Courtney looked across the table at Sophie and gave her a quick nod.
Sophie pushed back her chair and left the garden without a word.
“So.” Courtney poured the last of the wine into their glasses. “I wanted to talk to you about some things.”
“Yeah?” Ash kept her voice even, despite the nerves that jangled in her stomach.
Her sister looked away even as she drummed a rhythm on the table. “Yeah. About Sophie and about what’s been going on.”
“Okay.”
Courtney turned back to face her. “I’m sorry for all that crap I threw at you. And I’m sorry for not being more supportive of Sophie the last few weeks.”
“You don’t really need to say sorry to me.” Ash paused, wondering if her next question would be well received or not. “Does she know you’re sorry?”
Courtney sighed. “No, that’s next on my list. I wanted to talk to you first, though. I need to get it out so that when I talk to her, I can do it more calmly.” Her fingertips tapped gently against the tabletop. “I just got scared, you know? She’s growing up so fast, and this just seemed like one thing too many for her to deal with.” She twisted in her chair. “I know I said some horrible things last time we spoke, and I know I’ve done some crap things to her. I’ll try to make it up to her. And you. I promise.”
Ash leaned forward. “You seem different. Has something happened?”
“Yeah, kind of.” Courtney finished the last of her wine. “I finally got off my arse and spoke to Rachelle from bingo. Remember? The one I said had a gay son?”
Ash nodded.
“Yeah, well, should have done that weeks ago. Saw her Saturday night, and fuck, did she give me some lessons.”
“Really?” Ash’s hopes soared.
“Yeah. I mean, she said all the things you said, but somehow hearing it from her, from someone I didn’t know that well, made it sink in. She was like me when her boy told her he was gay. Wouldn’t have it, tried to talk him out of it. Tried to change him. Then…” Her voice caught. “One day, he tried to kill himself. Left her a note saying he couldn’t bear it if she couldn’t love him anymore. Luckily, she’d felt sick that day and left work early. Came home and found him in time.” She sniffed.
Ash’s stomach roiled. Poor kid. And poor mother.
Courtney’s tears spilled over.
Ash quickly grabbed a tissue from her back pocket and handed it over.
“Thanks. And she told me, she’d never realised what her words were doing. How much damage they were causing to this boy who was her pride and joy.” She sobbed, the tears now pouring down her face. “And…and I can’t…do that…to Sophie. She’s my everything. I…can’t…lose her.”
Ash left her chair and wrapped her sister in her arms, smoothing her hair with one hand as she rubbed gentle circles on her back with the other. “You won’t lose her, you hear? Not now.”
Sophie appeared in Ash’s line of sight, standing in the kitchen doorway, her eyes wide, her mouth open. “I…I just came back for my lemonade. I wasn’t listening, honest.”
Courtney swivelled in Ash’s arms. “Oh, love, it’s okay. Come here.” She pulled back from Ash’s arms slightly so that she could hold out a hand.
Sophie rushed over and fell to her knees next to her mum’s chair. Her eyes were wet and filled with fear. “Are you okay? Is everything all right?”
Courtney pulled Sophie close, wrapping the three of them into a tight embrace. “Yeah, I’m okay. And you, my lovely girl, are more than okay. You’re bloody brilliant, you hear?” She kissed the top of Sophie’s head. “Just exactly the way you are.”
Ash gave up trying to hold back her own tears and let them fall freely as the three of them pressed their heads together and clung to each other.
Chapter 30
Carmen paced the ticket hall of Mornington Crescent station. It was a little before one on Sunday afternoon, and she’d been here for fifteen minutes already. She hadn’t planned on being that early, but somehow her nerves had got the better of her, and she’d left the house just to have something to do.
What if she’s changed her mind?
After making the arrangement to meet, they hadn’t messaged again. Carmen knew why she hadn’t—a mix of fear along with a determination not to overplay this. Despite initiating the kiss the previous Sunday, Ash had acted like a spooked horse afterwards. So it hadn’t surprised Carmen not to hear much from her the rest of the week. Except now she couldn’t help wondering if Ash would even turn up.
She exhaled a long breath and turned to face the front of the ticket hall. Her next breath caught in her throat. A pulse pounded solidly in her neck, and her skin flashed hot and cold.
Ash stood in the entranceway to the station, perhaps eight feet away, and she looked unbelievable. Again.
How was she supposed to act all casual when Ash looked like this? The blue shorts showed off toned legs with a hint of
