But I want to kiss you, he’d said on the dance floor. Not fake girlfriend Ellie, but the woman I have in my arms right now.
And what had he said the moment they were alone?
I’ve wanted you since you took me home from Hurricane’s that first night. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I can’t. Not any longer.
Was that the problem? Ellie sat up and scooted toward the edge of the sofa, her thoughts swirling in a tsunami of questions. Was he starting to feel something for her?
A day like the one she’d just experienced warranted a drink. She wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Reading was out of the question. With all the thoughts flitting through her head, she couldn’t read a single word without interrupting herself. She turned on the TV and kicked her heels up on the coffee table, flipping through the channels until she settled on an old movie.
Two beers later, the whirlwind of thought had died down and Ellie was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. After making sure her alarm was set for too damn early, she curled up on the couch and closed her eyes, too tired to worry about putting herself to bed properly. She just needed the day to be over so she could focus on making the next one better.
It felt like she had just closed her eyes when her phone started blaring at her from its place on the arm of the couch. She sat up, confused and achy and not at all pleased with herself for choosing to pass out downstairs rather than head on up to bed. She reached for her phone and realized it wasn’t her alarm that woke her, it was a phone call. In fact, it wasn’t just any phone call. It was a phone call from James.
She answered, completely skipping all pleasantries. “What the hell? Do you realize what time it is?”
“Yeah, it’s late. Sorry.” His words were slurred to oblivion.
“How drunk are you?”
“Too drunk to stop myself from calling you, but not drunk enough to forget I wanted to.”
“James…” Ellie’s heart fluttered to life at his words and she took a minute to push those feelings back down where they belonged. “Can you get someone to drive you home?”
“I don’t know. Can you drive me home?”
She made an exasperated sound into the phone and stood. However long she’d been asleep, it hadn’t been long enough to sober her up. “No. I’m at home. I was asleep. Get someone where you are to drive you home.”
There was a pause.
Then a laugh.
Then James finally spoke. “I am where you are.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ellie
Someone knocked on Ellie’s front door and she heard it on a slight delay through the phone. “Knock, knock, Ellie. Can I come in? Please?”
On autopilot, she stormed to the door and flung it open to find James leaning against the wall, phone still to his ear.
“Hi, Ellie,” he said into the phone, then, when he realized she was standing in front of him, a smile slithered across his face and he pointed at her. “There you are. Right. There.” He fumbled with his phone, attempting to disconnect the call she’d already ended, then shoved it into his pocket. “Can I come in?”
She sighed and grabbed his arm, enjoying the taut muscles dancing under her fingers despite her frustrations with him. “Yes,” she said, pulling him inside. “Come in.”
As he stumbled past, she put her hands on his shoulders guiding him toward the couch. “I’m glad to see you,” he said. “I missed you the moment I left the café.”
She didn’t know if she should yell at him, feel sorry for him, or just give in and fall completely head over heels in love with him. “I’m sure you didn’t, but that’s sweet of you to say.”
James sprawled out on the couch and opened his arms to her, frowning when she sat primly on the opposite end. “I can’t drive you home,” she said, ignoring his pouty face. “I’ve had too much to drink tonight, too.”
“Aha!” His eyes lit up like he’d caught her shoplifting kittens. “See! You broke the promise, too.”
“But, James, I didn’t make the promise. I don’t have a problem with alcohol.”
“I don’t, either.”
“Oh, yeah? Which of us is so drunk he can’t get himself home safely? For the third time that I know of?”
James pondered her statement, his handsome face creasing with concern. “I guess that’d be me.”
“And I get the feeling that you probably needed help getting home on other occasions and I just wasn’t there to know.”
“That’s probably true.” He leaned his head back on the couch. “I need to be numb. I can’t keep feeling…anything. I hate going home. It’s not even a home anymore. It’s just a house. All the stuff that made it a home is gone.”
Ellie didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t say a word. If James was about to let out all the stuff he’d been holding inside, she wasn’t going to stop him. He’d been bottling up so much pain, it was poisoning him. He needed to let it out before it killed him.
“And it’s not like I was still in love with her when she called it off.” James lifted his head and his gaze settled on Ellie. Despite the slur in his words and the droop of his eyelids, she could see he was conscious of what he was telling her. He wasn’t spewing off some drunken speech he’d forget in the morning. He knew what he was saying and who he was saying it to.
“That doesn’t make it hurt any less,” she said, still afraid to move and break whatever spell he’d fallen under.
James shook his head. “Nope. And the betrayal of being cheated on? You haven’t been cheated on before.”
“No. Parasite Steve was the only long-term relationship I’ve ever had.” She almost finished that thought, almost said what was in her head and heart, but clamped down on the words
