“This is serious, Ryder.” She snapped. “You can’t make everything a joke. You can’t assume it will all turn out all right. My entire life has changed in an instant and you’re laughing about it.”
“Our lives.” I took a breath and sat back, reminding myself that this was a big deal, and for someone like Trina, it would be an even bigger deal. Her temper was to be expected.
She huffed out a breath. “You’re not ready to be a father. You’re a bartender and musician. The house is nowhere near ready for a child—”
Holding my own hurt and anger back, I said, “I know you’re upset—”
“Upset!”
I held my hand up for her to be quiet. “I understand the gravity of this. But calling me a loser isn’t the answer.”
She blinked at me. I thought maybe she was gathering steam to lambast me again, but instead, her expression crumpled and she burst out crying.
Oh fuck. Her pissy moods I could handle, but this. Did I hold her? Did I let her get it out by herself?
“I was on the pill. How did this happen?” she cried.
“Okay. So, it didn’t work. That’s not your fault.” I wasn’t sure why we were focused on this. Of all the things to talk about, what happened didn’t seem the most important. What to do seemed like it should be top of the list.
“It was my supplement. It made the pill ineffective. I didn’t know, Ryder. I’m so sorry.”
Feeling safer to reach out to her, I stood and went to her. I reached for her hand and pulled her up, and then guided her to the couch.
“What are you doing?” she asked as I sat and pulled her into my arms.
“I’m being grown up.”
She gave me a look like she didn’t like my calling her out on how she treated me. I squeezed her against me.
“Aren’t you scared?” she asked.
“Yes. A little,” I admitted. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with her that the unknown and unexpected could be scary. Right now, I did agree with her. But it could also be exciting. And I knew we had support from family and friends. The world wasn’t going to end.
“Why aren’t you freaking out?”
I laughed. “Because I’m not entirely upset by the news.” I tensed, waiting for her to go off on me about how could I not be upset. Instead, she looked up at me like she didn’t know me.
“Why not?”
Did I tell her I loved her now? Did I mention I’d already pictured us married and having a family? Probably not. Having a baby was enough to process. Her head might explode if I mentioned marriage.
“Because I like kids. And I like you. So, having one with you, while a bit inconvenient at the moment—”
“A bit inconvenient?”
“It’s not something you and I aren’t equipped to manage.”
“It’s a baby, Ryder. It will need…stuff, and things, and…” It wasn’t often Trina seemed at a loss for words.
“It’s not like we don’t have any experience. We were both pretty involved with Alyssa’s care when Sinclair first had her.”
Her brows knitted together as if she was considering that. Then, as happened with her, a new issue popped into her head.
“How can I even do this?”
“Trina, honey.” I kissed her forehead. “First, you’re not alone. I’m here. Right here. Maybe I’m not perfect, but I stick. Second, we’ve got my parents and Sinclair and Wyatt.”
Her eyes watered a little bit. I thought she was going to settle down, but then a new concern came to her. “What about my job?”
“What about it? Politically correct Mayor Valentine isn’t going to fire you for being pregnant. In fact, you’ve been worried about your job. This baby sort of saves it doesn’t it? It would look bad if he replaced you with that other woman now. In fact, it might be illegal to fire a pregnant woman.”
I was making light of the situation again, and prepared for her to go off on me. Instead she gave me that same look like I was a different species. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Just take everything with ease. Don’t let it get to you? See the silver lining?”
I shrugged. “I suppose it’s part of who I am the same way you are the way you are.”
Her head plopped against my shoulder. “I’m not mom material.”
“That’s bullshit.”
She jerked up at me. “I’m not. You know I’m not. I always see the world with the glass half full. That’s what Sinclair says. I know she’s right. I just can’t afford to be all Pollyanna like you and her.”
“Well, the thing is, your half-empty glass and my half-full glass make a one-hundred-percent full glass.” I smiled, willing her to let some of her worry go. Not all of it. It was in her nature to be on guard, but she didn’t need to keep being in a tizzy about this. We’d figure it out.
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” I asked.
“Making it seem like this isn’t that big of a deal. It feels monumental to me.”
I tugged her in closer. “It is a big deal, Trina. We’ve made a life. It’s a big responsibility and despite what you think of me, I can be responsible. But it’s also exciting. Will she have red hair like you? Will she be organized and efficient, like you? Will she like music, like me?”
“It could be a boy.”
“It could be. Won’t it be an adventure to find out what sort of person we made?”
She rested against me, her tension easing. Her breathing slowed. “I’m scared.”
“Me too, but we’re not alone,” I said again. “It’s like a roller coaster. Scary, thrilling, fun—”
“Dangerous.”
I laughed and kissed her on the head. “I’ll take the kid on the coasters then.”
She looked up at me. “You really feel okay with this?”
I nodded. “I really do.”
I studied her
