I took a breath and headed out to the waiting area to tell Mr. Mason that we’d done all we could but we weren’t able to save her. The problem was, I knew something had gone wrong. I worried that it was me.
6 Mia
The word about Ms. Mason’s death spread through the hospital like wildfire. Everyone knew her and loved her. She was like the matriarch of the town. I couldn’t imagine what Nick was going through at having lost such a beloved woman. I anticipated that he'd feel some sense of guilt. What I hadn’t expected to see on him was confusion. As if he wasn’t sure if he was to blame or not. It was one thing to do all you could, and still feel bad that you lost a patient. It was another to question whether or not you failed.
He passed me and made his way to the waiting area. I didn’t envy him the job of telling the family about her passing.
“Nick,” I called out, remembering my role in the hospital as the lawyer. “Don’t give any details about her treatment. We’ll have an autopsy—”
His eyes went hard. “I won’t implicate the hospital for negligence, if that’s what you’re saying.”
It was what I was saying, and while it was harsh, it was my job to say it.
He walked out, leaving me alone until Dick walked in. “Tough time to lose a patient,” he said. “Especially one that is revered.”
It seemed to me all deaths were difficult, but I didn’t say that. “Yes.”
“Listen, I know it only just happened, but I’m hearing that it was a missed diagnosis. We need to know what went on. We could be sued for not diagnosing her sooner.”
This was my job, I reminded myself. “I’ll talk with Nick and the others attending her, and review the notes.”
“Good. Thank you.”
“You might consider calling in another doctor and letting Nick go home. After all this, he might not be in the right frame of mind to keep working.” I was sure Nick would hate my putting into question his professionalism. The truth was, if anyone could suck it up and work, it was probably him. But he’d looked so devastated. Why make him work through that? But I couldn’t recommend him going home just for him, so I had to frame it as a liability for him to stay.
“You’re right. I’ll do that now. Can you let him know he’s off for the rest of his shift?”
“Yes.” I went toward the waiting area and got there just in time to see Nick walking back towards the lounge. “Nick.”
He stopped and stared at me with dull eyes.
“Dick gave you the rest of the day off.”
I thought he might argue but instead he gave me a curt nod and then walked past me. I let him go and went back to work. I pulled up Ms. Mason’s notes, and everything looked okay. I could see where Nick had entered her symptoms and ordered tests. Nothing looked out of the ordinary on that end. But looking over the notes, I couldn’t help but worry about Nick. His parents were gone and Eli was an asshole to him. Who did he have to talk to? I tried to shake that feeling. Nick was a friendly guy. He likely had lots of friends he could turn to. Eventually, I decided I needed to be one of those friends.
I took off early, and drove to his house, getting the address from the hospital’s staff directory. I wasn’t surprised to find him living in a cozy cabin along the lake. It was exactly what he’d planned. Initially, he’d planned for me to join him, but I’d decided to follow my dreams too.
I parked next to his four wheel drive SUV and went to the front door.
I knocked, and a few minutes later he answered. He’d changed from his khakis and oxford shirt into jeans and t-shirt.
“Am I in trouble?” His eyes were hard as they looked at me.
“No. I’m just worried about you.”
He gave me a face. “I’ve made it this far, having lost patients before, without you. I think I’ll survive this time.”
I wanted to snap back at his attitude, but I knew he had to be hurting, so I held myself in check. “I can’t imagine it gets easier. And Ms. Mason isn’t just any patient, is she?”
“Fuck.” He turned and headed back into the house. Since he didn’t shut the door on me, I followed him in. He sat on the couch. On the coffee table were three bottles of beer, two of which were empty.
“Getting drunk?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
I went to sit next to him. “Want company while you do?”
He looked at me. “Not worried Eli will come by and haul you home?”
I glared at him. “Eli isn’t my keeper.”
He sighed. “Why are you here?”
“Because I know you must be hurting and I want to be here for you.”
“Dick didn’t send you to find out if I fucked up?”
“No.” That wasn’t a lie. Sure, Dick wanted me to look into what happened, but that’s not why I was there. “What can I do to help?” I took his hand in mine.
He looked down at where my hand held his. “Go back in time. Have the tests done quicker. Have Mrs. Pierce’s baby wait a few hours. Take your pick.”
Tests done quicker? I made a mental note to check on that, but I didn’t want to go over procedures with him right now.
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Remember the first time you lost someone in your residency?”
“I remember everyone I’ve lost, Mia. I don’t need
