“So, did Dick send you over to get my confession?”
She turned her body to face me. “I’m here as a friend, Nick. Not for the hospital or Dick. For you.”
I looked down into my drink, feeling like an asshole.
“What’s going on? Peggy says you seem anxious at work.”
I looked to Mia. “I’m not sure you’re the right person for me to talk to.”
Hurt flashed in her eyes. “I’m your friend, Nick.”
“You’re also in a position to use what I say against me to protect the hospital.”
She nodded, and I was glad that she understood. “Have you considered talking to someone else about all this?”
I scoffed. “Talking won’t fix what’s ailing me.”
“You might have PTSD. You should talk to someone.”
“PTSD? No.” I knew some doctors had it, but compared to them, their work environments were much more stressful than mine.
“It’s under reported among doctors. Especially emergency room doctors, where there is a higher incidence.”
I took a gulp of my drink. I knew I was weak, but I didn’t want to air it out to the world. That would make it too real. “I can see it in big city hospitals. I was once nearly stabbed and another time shot, plus the volume of patients. But here?” I shook my head.
“You were once nearly stabbed and shot? When?” Her pretty blue eyes shone with concern.
“During my residency.”
“You never told me that.” Now she looked incensed. Perhaps because at the time, she and I were together.
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to worry you. I was a young invincible man.” Who’d been scared of his wits. My pride hadn’t let me share just what those incidents had done to me.
“Stress can build up. You keep pushing all this down and it builds until you can’t hardly function.”
I glared at her. “My work has been spot on.”
“No one is complaining about your work right now. What Peggy sees is a man who is doubting himself.”
My jaw tightened. I finished my drink.
“Talking with a professional can help you deal with all this. It’s like wellness for the mind.”
“It’s bad enough that I’m seen as incompetent. I don’t need the town wondering if I’m weak in the head as well.”
“Come on, Nick. You’re a doctor. You know better than to dismiss therapy.”
“I don’t need it.”
She reached out, putting her hand on my cheek. “I’m worried about you.” Her touch was like a balm, and my head tilted to sink into it.
“I just need a break. To have a moment when it’s not weighing on me.”
“Talking can help.”
“No, talking is bringing it all up. I want to forget. You made me forget before.”
She looked at me for a minute, but I couldn’t read her expression. She leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine. A new rush of sensation flooded through me. It was a welcome change from guilt. I reached to pull her against me, but she eased back.
“I’m not a sex therapist. You can’t use sex to hide from your problems.”
Why did she kiss me then? My dick was hard and needy in my pants. She did that, and now she was backing off. Fuck it. I didn’t need her.
I shrugged, wanting her to think I didn’t give a shit what she did. I set my glass down and stood. “Fine. I’ll take care of this myself.” I nodded down to my erection.
Her gaze latched on to the tent in my pants.
“Unless you’re willing to help?”
“I can’t. It’s against—”
“Then you’ll have to excuse me.” I considered dropping my pants and stroking myself right then and there, but thought that was a little too pervy. I strode to my room, pushing the door closed, but it didn’t shut all the way. Didn’t matter. Odds were, she was going to leave anyway.
I stripped naked, and lay on my bed, closing my eyes as I reached down and cupped my balls. It felt a little pathetic to jack off as a way to ease my pain for a moment. Or to do it because the woman I wanted didn’t want me. But I pushed that aside as I wrapped my hand around my cock and began to stroke. I took my time, not wanting to come in a rush. I wanted to think about nothing else except the erotic sensation of stroking my dick.
I heard a creak outside my door. Lifting my eyelids slightly, I saw Mia just outside my door, watching me touch myself. My dick thickened and I moaned as the idea of a voyeur heightened my pleasure.
“Ah fuck, Mia. If you’re going to watch, come watch.”
She entered the room. “Do you do this often?”
I swirled the precum on my dick’s tip around the helmet. “Since you returned to town, yes.”
Fire flashed in her eyes. “Me?”
“Touch yourself too,” I said. If I couldn’t touch her or fuck her, the next best thing would be watch her get off touching herself.
“Nick, I can’t.”
“Why not. Don’t you ever touch yourself?”
Her cheeks flushed.
“Want to know what I think about when I jerk off?” I asked, gripping my dick in my fist to slow down my ascent to pleasure.
“What?”
“Sometimes I think about you sucking my dick. Other times, I’m fucking your tits.”
Her brows rose. “Really? How does that even work?”
I flicked my thumb on the rim of my dick, hissing at the sensation. “Mostly, I’m straddling you, with my dick between your tits. Other times you’re on your knees or sitting.” I gripped my dick hard again as I felt myself creeping closer to orgasm. I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Not until I saw Mia touch herself.
She started to unbutton her blouse, and for a moment, I thought I was going to get my other fantasy. She sat on the edge of my bed as she pulled her blouse off and then her bra.
She held her tits up. “Show me.”
Ah fuck. It was a wonder I didn’t come then and there. I rose from the bed, moving in front of her.
