His breath hitched.
“I wasn’t her doctor, but I encouraged her to have the surgery. In fact, her doctor agreed to keep her comfortable until you and Jim arrived, but I was the one that told her to have the surgery. So, you’re right, it’s my fault.”
His eyes narrowed, but more in curiosity than in anger. “What do you mean?”
“Had she not had the surgery, you and Jim would have been able to say goodbye.”
His jaw trembled. “You took that from us?”
I nodded. “Yes.” What else could I say?
“Why?”
“Because I couldn’t handle losing her. She was going to die for sure without the surgery, but maybe, by some miracle, surgery would save her. My intentions were good, but little good that does you.”
He finished his drink, and I thought he might throw his glass or kick my ass. “What did she say?”
“She asked me to watch out for Jim—”
“So that’s why you spend time with him. Out of some duty to my mom.”
I knew what he was asking, and I thought he wanted it to be as callous as all that. “I like your father, Eli. I enjoy my time with him, so no, it’s not out of duty. She asked that I make up with you, which I tried to do. She also asked that I get back with Mia, but I’m sure that was just to encourage her to move home to be with you and Jim.”
“Because she didn’t think she’d move home just for us?” He sneered.
I hated how he turned everything into a negative, and at the same time, I could see why he might think that. “I think she wanted to stack the deck in favor of her returning and staying. I don’t know, Eli. I’m just telling you what she said.”
“I hate that you were the one with her.”
“I know, man. I don’t blame you.”
“You’ve taken everyone from me.”
“What?”
“Mia, my dad, my mom.”
“Don’t be an idiot.” Maybe I should have been more sensitive, but I was tired of his whining. “Mia and your dad love you. If things are tense, maybe you need to look at how you act around them. Stop whining so much. Grow your balls back. Jesus, you used to have them. What happened to them?”
He glared at me, and then it fell from his face.
“Why are you so pissed all the time. Is it really because of me?” I asked, genuinely curious.
He shook his head and looked down. “No. But you’re the reminder of what I could have had.”
I laughed, and he scowled. “Come on, Eli. My life is shit right now. You can’t want that.”
“You’ll come out of this lawsuit. You’re like a cat, always landing on your feet.”
“Maybe. But I don’t know if I’ll have the town’s respect anymore. There will always be whispers about Ms. Mason. And now your mother.”
“So, you leaving for good?”
“Right now, I just need to get away from it all. Figure out what’s next.” I supposed Mia was a part of what I needed to figure out. I wanted her, there was no doubt. And maybe now that I wasn’t working at the hospital, I could have her. But what did I have to offer? I was an unemployed doctor in a small town of people who thought he was inept.
“What do you want me to tell Mia and my dad?” he asked.
I sat forward, liking that this conversation appeared to be coming to an end. I clasped my hands together. “I don’t know man. I care about them, I really do. I just need to get my shit together, you know?”
He stood. “I still think it’s an asshole thing to do.”
He wasn’t wrong. I rose from my chair and looked at him. There was an awkward silence between us. We didn’t seem to be enemies anymore, but neither were we friends again.
“Well, I’ve got to take off,” he finally said.
“Sure thing.”
I walked him out, feeling like I should do more to connect with him since I’d promised his mom I would. But I was too lost in my own needs to do so. When he left, I finished closing up the house, then I grabbed my bag, got in the car, and headed toward Reno. I’d spend the night there, and grab a flight to San Diego tomorrow.
As the last bits of the Goldrush Lake disappeared from my rearview mirror, I had a wave of relief and yet despair as well. I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t just leaving my past, but also the possibility of my future. I gripped the steering wheel to keep from turning around and focused my eyes on the road in front of me.
The next day, my parents met me at the airport in southern California, surprised at my abrupt visit, but happy to see me. As it turned out, they weren’t completely in the dark about my life either. My parents had several friends they stayed in touch with back in Goldrush Lake, including Jim.
“Why didn’t you tell us what was going on?” my mother asked as she served me a sandwich that afternoon.
I shrugged. “Too involved in the thick of it I guess.” And what son wants to tell his parents he’s being sued for malpractice?
“I don’t blame Lyle Mason for being upset, but harassing the hospital and causing a disturbance, that’s not right,” my father said, eating his sandwich.
“Sometimes I miss home, and the small-town closeness, but when I see what they’re doing to you, I’m reminded that small towns sometimes mean small minds.” My mother brought her sandwich and sat with us.
“So, what are you going to do now?” my father asked.
“Sleep, I hope. Then decide my next step.”
“Well, we have space for you, and there are plenty of medical places around here,” my mother said.
“I’m not sure anyone wants to hire someone
