She looked down again. At least she seemed to feel some shame over her behavior.
“Look just tell me you don’t want to be with me. Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve heard it,” I said.
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it, Serena, because I’m tired of feeling like a sad sap.”
“Your family—”
“Leave them out of this. What they want or think doesn’t matter. Not to me.”
“But your family legacy—”
“Fuck it. It’s not worth it to me to live their life just for money. They know it too. I told them I could walk away. If I have to marry Evie to stay in the family, then I’m leaving it. If they don’t like how I live my life, then I’ll walk away.” I shrugged because I couldn’t figure out what to say or do to make her see. “Five years ago, I met a woman who inspired me to live my life. At the time I hadn’t been brave or confident enough to tell my parents I wasn’t going to Europe so I could stay with her. Five years later I am. Unfortunately for me, that woman doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Devin.” Her voice was soft, and I could see I was reaching her. Of course, we’d been here before. I didn’t want to keep playing this game where we’d have a fight, come together, and then she’d put up barriers again.
“Tell me to leave, Serena. I don’t want to continue like this, but I can’t seem to quit you on my own. You need to tell me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
I closed my eyes feeling both relieved and yet tormented. “Then tell me what you do want.”
“You.” Her voice was so quiet, I wasn’t sure I heard right.
I stared into her eyes hoping to see if I could find meaning there. Our gazes held, and I felt that pull she had over me. Like my heart was tethered to hers and pulling me to her.
Her hand went to my cheek and I got the sense that she was feeling the same as I was. That there was something special between us and being terrified of it.
I gave in to the pull, leaning towards her.
“I could be fired,” she said softly.
“What? Why?”
“You’re a client.”
That stopped me. “Is that why you’ve run hot and cold?”
She gave a noncommittal shrug.
“Do you want to be with me?” I asked.
She nodded.
I wanted to assure her that I wouldn’t let her get fired or suffer financially if she was, but I also knew that wasn’t the right response. She was a strong independent woman. She wouldn’t want to be rescued by a man.
“What can I do?” I asked.
“You could kiss me.”
I didn’t need to be asked twice. And when she pushed the button locking her door, I knew she was mine. Maybe not forever. Maybe not even tomorrow. But right now, she was mine.
13
Serena
Here I was again. Like the movie Groundhog Day, I was reliving the same scenario over and over. When I was on the verge of finally ending things with Devin, I found the prospect of never seeing him again too difficult to fathom, and so I reached for him, giving in to my need for him. My brain was telling me I was playing a cruel and dangerous game, but my chest was thick with need and emotion that was more compelling than the warning bells ringing in my head.
His lips covered mine, and immediately I sank into him. Giving all of myself to him. Outside the door, my boss and colleagues were going about their day. At home, my mother was watching Andrew. But in this moment, all I could focus on was Devin and how much I wanted him.
Why did I need him so much? Why wasn’t I strong enough to say no when he was standing in front of me? Was it those magnificent green eyes staring at me with pain and confusion that made me feel like a beast for pushing him away? Was it the way that he always deferred to me? He’d have walked out, I have no doubt. He wasn’t pushing or pressuring me. Maybe if he did, I’d be able to resist.
His hands slid around my back and pulled me tight against him. His erection grew hard against my belly and a whole new need washed through me. It flowed through my bloodstream, awaking every nerve in my body.
“I want you,” he whispered harshly in my ear as he ground his dick against me.
I gripped his tie and pulled him away from the door.
“Here?” His brows rose in surprise.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex in your office.”
His cheeks flushed. “I thought we had to worry about your job.”
“We do. It will add to the thrill, don’t you think?”
He grinned wickedly. “Can you keep from screaming my name?” His hands gripped my hips and pushed me against my desk.
“I guess we’ll find out.” I had his tie undone and was pressing my hands over his hard, hot chest.
His fingers undid the buttons of my blouse and unclasped the front hook of my bra. My breasts fell loose and he groaned.
“I love your tits, Serena.” He held one and bent his head, sucking the nipple deep into his mouth.
I moaned and my pussy squeezed tight in response to his lips and teeth sucking and licking and nipping.
My hands shook as I hurried to get his dick free from his pants.
We grasped, grabbed, tugged, all in a flurry of movement until finally he was sheathed in a condom and plunging that hard, thick cock inside me.
I bit my lip to keep from crying out at the exquisite pleasure of his filling me.
He buried his face in the crook of my neck and groaned. “You feel so fucking good.”
I wrapped my legs around his hips, my arms
