His hips pulled back and then thrust forward, making me gasp.
“Devin.” My pussy was on fire.
He withdrew and plunged again, holding himself against me.
“Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” My hips rocked and my thighs shook as need consumed me.
“Never,” he growled as he moved, this time in a strong steady rhythm.
“Yes, yes, yes…” Like a mantra, the words flowed from my lips as pleasure built and built, coiling tighter and tighter until I was sure I’d come apart.
His fingers gripped my hips. “I’m coming…” He groaned against my breast as his paced became frantic, frenetic. He was gasping, his face contorted into that mix of pleasure and pain brought on by good, hard sex.
He tilted my hips, and plunged in again, grinding against me and hitting that one delicious spot inside me. Everything around me imploded and then burst like a supernova, stealing my breath.
He withdrew and plunged again, this time with a feral growl as he let loose his own orgasm. We moved together, drawing out the pleasure, until finally spent, he dropped his head to my shoulder.
I held on to him like I wasn’t quite tethered to the earth and he was the anchor. Devin was the only man I’d ever been with, and it seemed like every time, even five years ago, it was intense and explosive, like this. I wondered if it was like this for everyone. I wanted to think we were special, except that was dangerous. Nothing had changed. I was still deceiving him. We still couldn’t be together, at least not as a regular couple. Aside from my lie, was the fact that I could be fired.
I wished I could put all these thoughts off for a time so I could enjoy the afterglow of his touch.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured against my lips.
“I can’t help it.”
He lifted his head. “I don’t want you to risk your job. We’ll think of something. Just don’t withdraw from me.”
I nodded, even though I could feel the barriers rising again. I’d been so consumed by whether he and his family was good enough for Andrew, but in that moment, I realized that perhaps I wasn’t the one good enough for him. He kept giving and being patient, and I kept reaching for him and then pushing him away. I was essentially leading him on. I was the worst.
“Can you have dinner with me tonight?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I have…” A son. Your son. “Other plans.”
His green eyes bore into mine like he was trying to decide if I was brushing him off again. “How about this weekend?”
“Plans.” I didn’t have plans except to spend it with Andrew. When I wasn’t working an event, I always made sure to spend my free days with Andrew. So I was lying again. I really was a terrible person.
He dropped his head and then started to pull away.
I cradled his cheeks in my palms. “Can I call you when I’ve time?”
“Will you have time?”
I sighed. “My life is different than it was five years ago. I have more responsibilities and obligations.”
“And what about you? Surely you can make time for you.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to be another one of your obligations.”
“It’s not like that. My life is so…complicated.” I could feel tears coming. Despite my wanting to be with him, the gargantuan issues were a chasm I couldn’t cross.
He let out a breath and stepped away, tossing the condom and pulling up his pants. “I’m willing to do what it takes to spend time with you, but I don’t know what that is. You’re hiding something from me or won’t let me in, and I don’t know how to overcome that.”
I slid from the desk. “I have lunch breaks.”
I was desperate to have him even though it was cruel. I could see in his eyes the pain I was causing. I hated myself for that. It was time to just come clean. I needed to tell him about Andrew and then let the chips fall where they may.
“I have been keeping—” The phone on my desk buzzed. I closed my eyes, hating the interruption. “Just a minute.” I reached over and picked up the phone. “Serena Moore.”
“Rena, is Mr. Roarke still with you?” Nikita asked.
I looked over at him. “Yes.”
“Really? Is he hiring you for an engagement party?”
“Ah…no.” I wasn’t quick enough to come up with some other excuse.
“What are you talking about then?”
“He’s just getting ready to leave,” I said hoping to avoid coming up with yet another lie.
He stared at me with a mixture of annoyance although I wasn’t sure if it was at me or himself for letting me hook and release him again.
“Have him wait. I want to go over some of the St. Patrick's plans with him.”
I covered the mouthpiece. “Nikita wants to talk to you about the St. Patrick's event.”
He nodded, even though I could see he’d rather get the hell out.
“Okay.” I hung up and straightened my clothes. “Nikita is on her way here.” I walked to him. “Maybe next time we can do this in your office.”
He quirked a brow. “I thought you didn’t want people to know.”
I shrugged. “We could say it has to do with party plans.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly. “I wish I could figure you out.”
“I don’t know. I think you know me pretty well.” I waggled my brows.
His lips twitched upward. “I know your body and what turns you on. But I wish I knew what was going on up here.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “Fortunately, I’m a patient man.”
I hugged him so he couldn’t see my face. The truth was, patience didn’t matter. This couldn’t last and my drawing it out was bad for both of us. I had no doubt that this was going to end spectacularly badly. But even knowing that, I couldn’t do the right thing. If I was a braver person, I’d tell him the
