She could leave her job, but she seemed to like it and she might resent me if she left for me. So that was out.
But even if we could overcome the job issue, there was the difference in life plans. She wanted a home and family, and I wasn't sure I could do that. I loved my family, but we weren’t like other people. I suspected Serena had warm loving parents who supported her life choices, minus the nearly running off with me five years ago. While they wanted her to marry a good man, they probably didn’t care about his breeding or the size of his bank account. In her family, there wasn’t a tie between maintaining the family honor and legacy to the love one received.
Did my parents love me and Brianna? Yes, in their own way. But their love did have some conditions. I didn’t want to perpetuate that type of life. I didn’t want to force a woman like Serena to conform to our antiquated way of life or raise a child in a way that stifled his dreams
That afternoon, I met with Brianna to review our plans for the New York club.
“Do you ever see yourself getting married?” I asked her. She was shallow and couldn’t always be trusted with secrets, but she was the only person I felt I could talk about personal stuff with. Well, Serena too, but since this involved her, and I already had her answer, I had no choice but to seek guidance elsewhere. It didn’t escape me that Brianna hadn’t ever been in a long-term relationship and I wasn’t sure she’d ever been in love, but when it came to confidants, I didn’t have any other choice.
“Sure. I have this fantasy of marrying a rich guy to make Mom and Dad happy but his money was earned from porn or drugs or something.”
I smirked. “Does everything you do have to butt up against Mom and Dad?”
She quirked a brow. “Do I detect a hint of disapproval?”
“I just wonder how much of what you do is because you truly love it versus doing it simply to bug the parents.”
“Why can’t it be both? Besides, you’re the one telling them you’re going to change the business and not marry or have kids. That gives Mom a heart attack more than I do.”
I guess she was right.
“Why? Are you rethinking marrying Evie?” she asked, as she pulled a glass of water from the mini-fridge in my office.
“No. That’s not happening.”
“Someone else then? Perhaps the event planner.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering how someone who often seemed oblivious could be so observant.
“What do you have against marriage anyway?” she prodded.
“I don’t have anything against it. I just don’t like the way our family goes about doing it. About any of it. Our nanny was more nurturing than our mother. All decisions are made based on what will look right to a bunch of uptight conceited rich jerks, not on what makes us happy.”
Her brows furrowed in thought. “Yes, that’s true. To be honest, I doubt Mom and Dad ever had sex.”
Jeez. Not what I was going for in this discussion.
“Too intimate and messy. Instead, I bet Dad jerked off into a cup and they used a surrogate.”
“Please tell me you don’t think of Dad like that.” I really wondered what made me think I could have a serious conversation with Bri.
She rolled her eyes. “Not specifically no, but you know what I’m saying?”
“I do and that’s my point. I don’t want to live like that.”
She stared at me for a long moment. “Then don’t.”
“I don’t have a choice—“
“Of course you do. You’ve already made one by not marrying Evie. If you want to marry for love, do it. If you want to take your kids to the park instead of sending them with a nanny, do it. Mom and Dad don’t have as strong of a hold on you as you think, and yes they’d fuss, but let’s face it, our generation of entitled brats would likely see you as a hero for breaking free of the ridiculous rules that generations before us put in place.”
Just do what I want? Was it really that easy? Bri was right in that I was already doing that to a certain extent by continuing with the clubs despite my father’s insistence that I stop. I was shucking social constraints by not marrying Evie.
Within limits.
That had been Serena’s answer when I asked whether or not we could make our own destinies. She’d not been optimistic about overcoming limits, but who set those limits? Society yes, but I was already pushing against them. So maybe the limits I was having trouble with were those I set in my own head. I thought I’d have to have a marriage and family like the one I grew up in, but Bri was right. I could change that. I could choose a good woman who might be out of my social class, but to my mind was richer in personality and goodness. I could give her children, watching them grow in her belly and then teach them to throw a ball. My money would give them all the opportunities they deserved, but my love and the love of their mother would give them emotional security and confidence. Put in that context, having a family had an appeal.
“Of course, Mom would likely be mean to any woman you married that didn’t fit the mold, but fuck her, right?”
Bri’s words brought on a concern I hadn’t been considering, but Serena had. Several times she’d suggested my mother wouldn’t approve of her. It made me wonder if she’d ever met her as she was spot on about that.
But again, that was a limit I felt I could overcome.
“Thank you, Bri.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. So when are you inviting your event planner to meet the family.”
I shook my head. “Not
