Keeping a cautious eye on the empty ramparts, Hamish followed his lover as they trotted down the stairs. She wouldnae order his death. Not here. Out in the back fields of nowhere, perhaps, where she could blame it on bandits and the like, but not right in the middle of the castle grounds.
Still, the building tension in his shoulders refused to leave until they had reached his siblings. “Where is everyone?”
“Mum called them in for mourning,” Nora answered, handing the reins of a small chestnut pony to Darshan. “We should be there, too, but we wanted to—”
Her words were muffled as Gordon enveloped Hamish in a hug. “Take care. Both of you. And you…” With one arm still wrapped around Hamish’s shoulder, his brother dragged Darshan into their embrace. “You better take good care of me brother.”
“Naturally,” Darshan replied, the words warped due to his face being squeezed by Gordon’s arm. Prising himself free, he clambered aboard the chestnut pony.
Giving his brother’s back a final pat, Hamish swept his sister up in a similar embrace. “Dinnae let Mum get her claws into Ethan.” As much as he wanted to remove his nephew from this place, to give him a chance to grow up where he’d be free to love whomever he chose, doing so would see guards hounding them all the way to the border. And they’d no guarantee that they would make it to Udynea with him.
“I’ll try me best,” Nora promised. A single tear slunk down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away. “Look at me blubbering like it’s going to be forever.”
Hamish cleared his throat. He had been trying not to think about all the people he would lose, but seeing his sister shedding the first tears he had witnessed from her in years…
He sniffed. He hadn’t been prepared for this. “I’m going to miss you. All of you.”
Gordon wrapped his arm around their sister’s shoulders. “We’ll miss you, too.”
Hamish flung himself at them, holding them tight. “I love you. Both of you. I hope you ken that.”
“We do,” Nora replied.
“I just want you to ken in case…” He gave another sniff and attempted to clear his throat.
“We’ll find a way to see you again,” Gordon promised. “Somehow.”
Hamish nodded. If there was a way it could be done, his brother would find it. “I just want to tell you, because I might nae have always shown it, how I appreciate all you’ve done for me over the years.” It might not have always gone as they had planned, but they had shouldered so much blame together that it didn’t seem fair to let them face their mother without him.
Darshan laid a hand on Hamish’s shoulder. “We should leave whilst the guards are otherwise engaged.”
Nodding, Hamish dried his face on his sleeve before swinging into his mare’s saddle. She gave her customary impatient stamp of a hind hoof as he settled on her back. “Aye, lass,” he murmured. “We’re leaving.” He didn’t know if he would be able to bring her once they reached the river docks, much less aboard a ship, but it was comforting to have her on this final journey through his homeland.
He twisted in the saddle as his horse high-stepped her way towards the castle gates. “Let Caitlyn ken what happened, she’ll worry if I dinnae show come summer. Give her me love. And the others, Sorcha, Bruce, Ethan, Mac—” Although he didn’t need to, he rattled off their names. This could be his last chance to speak them. He wished he could’ve said it in person, but his mother likely insisted on having all her grandchildren at her side. “Dad, too.”
“We will,” Gordon replied.
“And Mum,” he shot over his shoulder as his mare reached the gates. No one waited outside them. Even the road leading down to Mullhind was eerily deserted.
“Uncle ‘Mish!” Ethan’s voice echoed across the courtyard.
Hamish searched the surrounding walls, finding nothing, before dropping to eye the stables and storage buildings. If any of his sibling’s children were within arm’s reach, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to let them go.
“Up here!” Sorcha bellowed.
His gaze lifted to the castle proper. His niece and nephews sat on the balcony high above the door, waving furiously. Had they been told the lie? If so, they clearly hadn’t believed it. Or had they snuck around and been there for the truth?
Hamish raised his hand, his sight blurring anew.
One by one, they replied in kind. Voices, further garbled by echoes and an attempt to speak at the same time, bounced around the courtyard.
“Be good,” he called up to them. “Stay safe. I love you.” He watched them, his siblings and their children, even as his mare continued plodding away from them. He burnt their image into his mind; Gordon holding their sister tight, his niece and nephews clinging to each other. There was no guarantee that he would ever see any of them again.
It wasn’t until they were out of sight that he repositioned himself in the saddle and took the lead for the city. His last ride into Mullhind.
Hamish gave the castle one final look over his shoulder. Had it always sat like a hulking beast on the edge of the cliff? “Do you think she’ll ever change her mind?” His mother had been harsh on all her children for as far back as he could remember and abusive to him since his teenage years, personally putting him through a hell that even the Goddess wouldn’t do. One he had finally fought his way free of.
But he was still her son. Surely she couldn’t keep up the pretence of him being dead forever. Could she?
“She?” Darshan echoed, frowning. “You mean your mother? One can but pray.”
Pray. That was precisely what she would be doing right now. For the salvation of a son who had yet crossed the threshold to the Goddess’ side.
Maybe the Goddess would bring his mother clarity.
Swallowing the threat of fresh tears clogging his throat, he turned his back
